Why is the gay community so sexual?

[Anonymous]

I was really bothered by how they treated my boyfriend. He isnt very good at social situations he gets extremely uncomfortable around strangers. Im the only boyfriend he has had and he really doesnt have friends, he actually works from home. He barely talks even to me, sometimes only a few short sentences a day. He relies on me to help take care of him like doing the shopping and things like that. When we go out on a date night its very special, after this its going to be a while before he goes out again. Most nights we stay in. I just completely lost my head when they started touching him. Im not a violent type usually.

I just dont get why so many gay men feel the need to be loud in-your-face types. It just seems so over the top I think they do more harm than good for gay people overall. To me it seems so fake, these personas so many guys create.

[Zen]

I feel bad that this happened to you. Fair play to you standing your ground.

It sounds like you and your man are a couple of regular guys in a normal relationship that just want to live your life happily, you just happen to be gay.

I remember when I was younger getting approached by horny guys- outside bars, which was ok, they were drunk. But it happened in places that I didn't know we're cruising grounds or in public toilets- that kind of pissed me off and I think helped keep me in the closet as I honestly felt like being gay came down to a sex act rather than being equated with a healthy, normal relationship.

I was talking with someone recently and he said that the overly sexualized behaviour is a throwback to when being gay was either frowned upon or even illegal- men craving this contact could only have sex as a relationship was out of the question.

Maybe given time this will improve, but it will take time, being gay being illegal is still living memory for many people, and still being stigmatized in memory for many more.

Maybe I'm just rambling. Hope I make sense.

[LJay]

I feel bad that this happened to you. Fair play to you standing your ground.

It sounds like you and your man are a couple of regular guys in a normal relationship that just want to live your life happily, you just happen to be gay.

I remember when I was younger getting approached by horny guys- outside bars, which was ok, they were drunk. But it happened in places that I didn't know we're cruising grounds or in public toilets- that kind of pissed me off and I think helped keep me in the closet as I honestly felt like being gay came down to a sex act rather than being equated with a healthy, normal relationship.

[COLOR="Red"]I was talking with someone recently and he said that the overly sexualized behaviour is a throwback to when being gay was either frowned upon or even illegal- men craving this contact could only have sex as a relationship was out of the question.

Maybe given time this will improve, but it will take time, being gay being illegal is still living memory for many people, and still being stigmatized in memory for many more.
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Maybe I'm just rambling. Hope I make sense.

You ain't just kidding, bro. Gay being illegal is real and present for many still. As for "stigmatized in memory" just look at Kindy 64's situation with his family. We have a long way to go.

[Zen]

You ain't just kidding, bro. Gay being illegal is real and present for many still. As for "stigmatized in memory" just look at Kindy 64's situation with his family. We have a long way to go.

Yeah Ljay you're absolutely right. Let's hope that the generation coming up are the ones that can make real change.

[deephiance]

Men in general are arseholes.

They are never wrong and they always blame their victims...She dressed provocatively, she was asking for it....no means yes....she was into it...blah blah fucking blah.

The 'Gay Community' is only representative of a very small minority, even Mardis Gras, the involvement of gay and lesbians is relatively minor compared to the the hetero's that are there for the PARTY.

The gay community is too full of stereotypes which makes it difficult for for the other 95% of gays and lesbians that are just living life and doing what our predecessors fought for...and there lies the key.

Back in the day, the gay community was instrumental in legalising homosexuality in the 1970, it was key to acceptance, tolerance and understanding in the AIDS Eighties. So we not only need to acknowledge and thank those for the sacrifices they made, but we are now at a point where this same gay community has become so sexualised that it is now having an adverse impact and is forcing people back in to the closet...I think of Russia when I talk about that point.

No means NO...it doesn't mean 'I am dressed in a way that says yes'.

You guys were assaulted, pure and fucking simply assaulted and it makes me fucking angry that there are men that think it is OK to violate another human and then blame the victim for the violation.

Stay away from all of those cunts and just keep loving each other, being with each other, supporting each other and being the best people you can. If any of those people were your friends at that venue, they would have come to your defence...the ones that did come to your defence are the ones you need to keep in your life because they are friends.

I hate people.

[Anonymous]

[MENTION=24118]deephiance[/MENTION] we didnt even provocatively I was wearing a flamingo shirt and slacks and so was he.

[Anonymous]

dress provocatively.

[meridannight]

Do you think straight men are not as sexual as gay men, do you think they care about "love" more than we do? You're believing a lie because they crave sex as much as we do,

Exactly. Men are men, but straight guys' sexual life is moderated by females and fear of pregnancies. Nobody is moderating gay men's sexual life, but themselves. It ends up being more sexual because it's only made of men and their libidos.

I don't think there is anything wrong with that in itself though.


However, you should treat other people with some basic respect at the same time. You can't go around just expecting every guy to drop his pants for you. Get real! So yeah, what happened at the restaurant was classless, tacky and just a very wrong way to behave yourself. Luckily, I've never seen anything like that before. I probably wouldn't know what to make of such people. That is an off-putting conduct coming from anybody.

[InbetweenDreams]

Well most gay guys do want sex, one way or another. How much self control one has varies, but most guys want sex. I suppose the appropriate attire to go out would be an oversized t-shirt and sweat pants, maybe even wipe some Cheetos on the shirt.

I find there are three general classes. Guys who want sex, guys who don't want sex and guys who do want sex but refuse to give in. I'd say I'm in the middle, let's face it, if I want to date you I probably at some point want to have sex with you.

When it comes to boundaries. Yeah that's bullshit and just goes to show you that anyone can be trashy. I will say that it does seem more common to find people without any class than people with class, people who respect boundaries.

Men are more promiscuous then women most of the time. Factor in pop culture and so on "Queer As Folk" and whatnot and people assume they should act this way.

[Camfer]

It's one thing to be treated poorly by a couple of guys at a party, it's another thing if the restaurant manager also treats you poorly. I'd contact the restaurant owner and tell him what you've told us. You went to a nice restaurant to have a nice time with your partner. What is the restaurant owner going to do to rectify the situation?