Why is the gay community so sexual?

[Anonymous]

We'd rather not cause any trouble and just put it behind us. It just sucks because we dont go out often, because it makes him nervous and this incident will add to his future anxiety.

[NativeSon]

^And that's why I think you're full of shit "anonymous."

How fun it must be to be you.

Go do...something "naughty" to yourself and your nervous captive, I mean boyfriend.


For reals? This is what y'all are comfortable being reduced to? How interesting.

[NativeSon]

You ain't just kidding, bro. Gay being illegal is real and present for many still. As for "stigmatized in memory" just look at Kindy 64's situation with his family. We have a long way to go.

Whoa? When did this happen? Long way to go, indeed. Last time I read, Kindy64's "situtation" was he's a very vocal socially extreme "Trumpy" supporter who hates the idea of national healthcare.

Do you see that disconnect, Ljay? I guess you don't.

Chow.

[NativeSon]

There's so much going on in this thread. I just don't know where to start. I think it's safe to say that the underlying idea is that everyone hates gay people.

Poor, poor us.

[NativeSon]

So there are several complaints (as far as I can tell) going on here.

1. Gay people are hyper-sexualized.

2. Gay Pride events are too overtly sexual.

3. The prudes among us aren't being represented.

Did I get that right?

[TwisttheLeaf]

*Wonders where the hell you live, because he wants to make sure he doesn't go visiting wherever it is.*

Honestly? I've never witnessed such blatant behavior towards others not in their personal "party" in public outside the occasional gay club, and certainly never seen a business owner/manager that would side with a raucous group over a quiet and courteous customer.

There's a difference between being overly sexual, or being an obnoxious annoyance. Your issue with the "visitors" to your table was the latter.

In the case of [MENTION=20938]Gideon[/MENTION] and myself, that behavior wouldn't have gone over well. Although I am often quiet in nature and even more so when feeling vulnerable, the first time someone -touched- me, there's a good chance they'd have been wishing they'd never seen either of us by the time I was done with them. I don't "fight" with others in public (unless I've been heavily drinking or I am defending my sister), but I am more than capable of producing a good deal of pain without ever leaving my seat. That's IF Gid didn't get to them first... and he's far more territorial and volatile than I am.

Might I suggest teaching your boyfriend a few tips on... defending himself. Even if it's as far as learning to lean away and say "don't" as a warning, then teaching him where to pinch, poke, or push to force some distance when someone gets too close.

Their behavior was harassment, plain and simple... and unacceptable. In my experience, it isn't indicative of the "gay community" other than perhaps in some club-type atmospheres. Then again, maybe where you live, it is? The "gay community" is different from city to city across the US and around the world.

[Alvin]

So there are several complaints (as far as I can tell) going on here.

1. Gay people are hyper-sexualized.

2. Gay Pride events are too overtly sexual.

3. The prudes among us aren't being represented.

Did I get that right?

Hi, NativeSon. There are three very good statements. Allow me to elaborate.

1. I think the whole society is hyper-sexualized. There is nothing wrong as long as we have consensus. In that case, if someone agrees to have threesome or group fun when asked for, go for it. However, if one does not want to, then he/she should be left alone. Otherwise, it's harassment.

2. Gay pride (LGBT pride), as far as I know, refers to a series of events trying to raise the awareness and visibility of sexual minorities, like the slogan goes "We're here. We're queer. Get used to it." It, however, does not mean we all have to be the same since being queer is all about diversity and plurality. I once watched a documentary titled "(A)sexual: Not Everyone's doing it", in which asexual people (They're not religious but simply have no sexual desire toward either male or female.) joined the parade but were denied by other communities. A lesbian said "You're polluting my mind." Likewise, another gay guy said "I pity your soul." It kind of broken my heart to see queer communities unwilling to embrace asexuality, who indeed identify themselves as a part. Maybe the use of queer as an umbrella term can have the effect of (mis)representing us as one big happy family. The same is true when it comes to the term "gay" I assume.

3. What I said above leads to the third statement. The gay community can be further diversified. Being gay is a very important part of our lives, but not all. It is not a matter of representation, but a matter of whether we can have a discussion of what representation could possibly be. Even though we might disagree with each other, we still love men, enjoy sex, and if possible, have the tolerance with opinions that are drastically different from ours.

Non-native speaker in English as I am, I wish that my language proficiency qualifies me to clarify my point of view.

[princealbertofb]

It sounds like maybe alcohol and party drugs were involved which would make people lose their inhibitions, maybe too much. If they also normally lack any type of upbringing or class, then that's an explosive combination. The manager was out of line by letting two of his clients be harassed by another party.

Also, I'm sorry that you and your boyfriend were so badly treated.

Maybe a word on Tripadvisor or whichever comparing site/ finding site this establishment is listed on?

[princealbertofb]

2. Gay pride (LGBT pride), as far as I know, refers to a series of events trying to raise the awareness and visibility of sexual minorities, like the slogan which goes "We're here. We're queer. Get used to it." It, however, does not mean we all have to be the same since being queer is all about diversity and plurality. I once watched a documentary titled "(A)sexual: Not Everyone's doing it", in which asexual people (They're not religious but simply have no sexual desire toward either male or female.) joined the parade but were denied by other communities. A lesbian said "You're polluting my mind." Likewise, another gay guy said "I pity your soul." It kind of broke my heart to see queer communities unwilling to embrace asexuals, who indeed identify themselves as part of the LGBTQA group. Maybe the use of queer as an umbrella term can have the effect of (mis)representing us as one big happy family. The same is true when it comes to the term "gay" I assume.



Non-native speaker in English as I am, I wish that my language proficiency qualifies me to clarify my point of view.

If fact all umbrella terms are misleading. They could be a term of gender, or of nationality or of religion and yet we'd still keep all our own idiosyncracies.

So yes, you are right the big umbrella term does not really represent any idiosycracies. I'm gay and I'm hairy but I don't identify as a 'bear' and I don't identify with twinks either...

[Alvin]

If fact all umbrella terms are misleading. They could be a term of gender, or of nationality or of religion and yet we'd still keep all our own idiosyncracies.

So yes, you are right the big umbrella term does not really represent any idiosycracies. I'm gay and I'm hairy but I don't identify as a 'bear' and I don't identify with twinks either...

I noticed the term "LGBTQA", which reminded me of what my professor said: "So many abbreviations going on here. One day we will have this queer alphabetical song."