Yesterday I went to a local gay bar in Manhattan with a female friend of mine. It seems that a lot of the men there have this thing where they keep to themselves and are not very friendly. Some of the real good looking younger ones seem to look down on you as if you don't fit in.Maybe it was a neighborhood bar and most of them knew each other. We asked one guy if a particular stool was taken and he said yes and he proceeded to drag another stool out for me instead of making his friend sit to the left of him instead of the right of him. Also I was feeling really good last week with good things happening and I felt a coldness in that atmosphere that made me uncomfortable. IT's funny how when I was in my 20s I would hang in there until I connected but at 60 I have no patience with standoffish people. There were people of all ages in that place and even the older ones weren't that friendly.I would never go into a bar alone now as I did when I was younger.IF my friend wasn't there I wouldn't have went.
I belong to a trivia contest in a local bar in my neighborhood and ironically I get more attention and compliments from the straight guys. They know i'm gay and one of them even complimented me on my cologne. I'm too old to put up with this bullshit.I want to meet a down to earth regular guy. I don't know if they're insecure or just have self hate.
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Where did you go? Different bars in the city have really different vibes and target different audiences. There are bars that I've been to once but would never go back to just because of the attitude there. You could look into what bars are more friendly for older men or have a more relaxed vibe. I've always found Pieces in the village to be really friendly.
Also, since you're so close to NYC, you might want to look at other things besides bars to meet men. You might have better luck connecting with someone if you join some type of group or club based around an interest of yours.
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feel sorry for the people in that bar mate - they are very sad people and will probably end up very bitter with life - although it sounds like they are already , superficial is a very hard trait to loose
many people have moved past the gay bar/straight bar thinking - we go to the bar and have a good time with whoever we meet now as you have demonstrated with your trivia contest quote
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Thanks Guys, yes I've been to Pieces and I should go back.This particular bar was the Monster and although it's less seedy it can be a little snobbish.
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I used to work in a bar when I was younger, now at 62 they are not that interesting to me. We used to have a Gay bar where I live, but apparently now, it isn't. ((?)) People do tend to be "owner-occupied" when it comes to watering holes, for whatever reason. It would be my preference to just come in, find a place to sit with/out a friend, get a lay of the land, be available if anyone shows an interest, kind of go on from there.
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I know what you mean. those young good looking boys think they're everything and everyone wants them and shit like that. if you're a bit older you're not allowed to talk to them cuz they don't like that lolz. well im still young but i see it happen a lot in gay bars but also gay clubs. I visit them often with my gay friends.
the problem is, the younger people think that when an older man starts to talk to them they think he wants sex or whatever. well some do actually, but most not. I've had some nice conversations with older people, nothing wrong with that.
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It isn't just gays, the world is full of people with attitude. But I get what you mean. There are so many issues facing us as gays that it would be nice of we had a sense of community,a sense of all being in this together, and welcomed and supported each other instead of tearing each other down.
Obviously, everyone isn't going to like everyone else all the time. All I'm saying is, give people a chance. I've made some very unlikely friends that way, people that other friends looked at and dismissed.
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This advert reminds me of visiting my first gay bar!!
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