Catch me up if you will?

[InbetweenDreams]

I did stay in touch with Cridders for a while... I might see if I can find him again and shoot him a message.

It is possible that sending them a PM will land them an email (if they didn't opt out)...I assume whatever setting they had in their profile was preserved.

[Pix]

Hey, I'm one of the few lesbians who was here.  I don't know if I'll get involved again or not, but I am stuck at home a lot at the moment and I know what it's like to be curious for those who just aren't there anymore, so I'll give a brief (at least relatively brief) summary of life until now.  (I also plan to check back for some others as I'm curious, glad those like Cellar Dweller posted, and in addition to other names listed, there was one guy from Jamaica I'd like to hear from again, to know he's okay if nothing else.)



Offhand, I don't recall 2017 that well, but family relations in Texas made me glad I lived over a thousand miles away (not that it was all bad).  And then in 2018 my grandmother died and I was left the house (skipping my mom) and I was forced to go back, though as she was such an important figure in my childhood, I had to say goodbye as well.  This was a process that took MONTHS to work out, and as I wasn't interested in moving back to the sticks (though there are some good people there), but still wanted it an option, I created a contract with a cousin so that now he owns the house.  A lot of it is based on trust so that if he dies and whoever takes the house (presumably his wife but not necessarily so) decides to contest my ability to move in then I could probably lose, but that is neither here nor there.  He and I are close, unlike with some other relatives, and this turned out to be the best decision, I think.

For those who don't know...beware the vultures.  I'm glad I got an uncle to overlook what one lawyer put in, trying to take advantage of both my grief and lack of law knowledge (and fake me out with his false Christian piety), because if I'd signed it then he'd essentially own the house (and he's part of a family that rivals my own extended family's farm, so it would be bad).  He's just one of the vultures I had to deal with.  Just be careful.  Lots of bad people know you're grieving and will take advantage of that to rip you off at best, and screw you over bad at worst.

I also learned that my father (divorced from my mother when I was a kid and has nothing to do with that/our side of the family anymore) died several months prior.  His family didn't want me at the funeral so I wasn't to be told, and I didn't learn about it until I arrived for my grandmother's funeral.  (Also, my cat of many years died...rough time. )  I was amazed at how much grief I felt for him and still pondering that. 

My mother got pneumonia December 2018 (life support in January 2019) and I had to spend a bulk of financial earnings to save her life.  I really hope she doesn't die of the current crud, but she's especially vulnerable to it given her age, habits, and last year's pneumonia that had her on life support (if she does, then I hope the extra year I paid a lot for was worth it), though perhaps being asocial in the sticks will keep her from getting it any time soon. But I think she and I grew closer, even if she did play some of her usual mind games with me.

Still, I got through it.  A hauntingly beautiful memory is when me and my cousin sang The Last Unicorn at the post-wake wake (that is family only in her old house) and we really could feel her presence.  (That was her favorite movie, btw.  And my cousin is good on guitar.)




Around this time the homeless situation had gotten bad back around where I lived, and once this drama was behind me I dove headfirst into another one, working with the homeless and those close to it, eventually volunteering at a shelter (a secular one that's LGBT friendly).  Generally speaking, it was rewarding work and I made a lot of friends, but of course there are always a few (both staff and clients/residents) who make it rough on everyone else--heh, maybe I'll share of the one that bad mouthed me for being a lesbian and saying lesbians are mean to him, and when others mocked him asking what woman is nice to him (and "do you call her mom?") he went to the staff to complain of bullying only to bust himself for talking trash about lesbians in general as opposed to me in particular.  

This lasted months, but a court case against the head of the board made it rough, and...technically I'm not supposed to talk about it (though as the legal case fell through as most witnesses got other jobs, often moving away in the process, but the lawyer is hoping for another chance...sad how this corrupt person managed to make the legal system work for her rather than against her) but suffice to say we clashed and I'm no longer a volunteer and won't be there while she's in charge. 

I'm thinking of volunteering with literacy as the library was seeking volunteers.  Naturally, that's on hold right now.

Unfortunately, many of the friends I made who were homeless (that I continued to be friends with even after I was no longer a volunteer) have vanished during the current pandemic and I have no idea what happened to them.  It wasn't all at once and the others didn't know what happened to our mutual friends and then they were gone as well.  I'm worried.  I hope they're not being forced to take part in experiments or something (it wouldn't be the first time the US did something like that).  There are other homeless areas where they are temporarily allowed to stay (even encouraged to use tents apparently) but I don't know the details or them specifically, so I still worry for my homeless friends.




Some may remember that I am working on multiple stories. Eventually I realized I wasn't getting anywhere juggling so many, so I've chosen to focus on one specifically, even cannibalizing parts from other stories to incorporate into the one I've chosen.  With radical revisions and rewrites I think it's getting quite good if I say so myself, though I worry about being TOO immersive and complex.  I'm currently breaking the standard rule of having more than 5 main characters its centered around though I probably won't change that, just be careful on how I present it.  Even so, I didn't make real progress until I distanced myself from the internet (which is perhaps the biggest factor on why I probably won't be around here much).

And then this virus hit.  My partner now works at home (so do I, technically, but it has monkey wrenched it somewhat) and having seen shows she likes over the years, I'm getting her to try some shows I like with mixed results.  I've been watching a lot of Netflix recently which is a new experience for me.

I'm a huge RWBY fan, though I know it's fashionable to hate on it (as it is on anything that gets popular, it makes banks in addition to allowing some people to feel smarter and edgier than they are so the content gets made and promoted). 





Going back to the funerals, the drama lasted only months, but the grief comes in waves.  Each time I go longer without it hampering me, but then it hits me really hard again.  It does get better.  And for what it's worth, someone recommended  A Grief Observed  by CS Lewis, so I'm doing the same for any here who might find it helpful, either now, or soon.  It's not something that white washes grief and giving a lot of affirmations to stave off the pain (often in vain, making it worse because it's not working when you're pressured to pretend that it is), but rather what it was like for him, and I related to a lot of it.  here are some quotes from it:

https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/89...f-observed



That all said, there's a lot of good in my life and I'm generally content.  And not too long ago I took the public bus which has been modified for the coronavirus (and it's even free!), and much to my pleasant surprise, both the bus driver and a passenger (one formerly homeless who I worked with as a volunteer) were so glad (and relieved) to see me as I hadn't been on in awhile!  (I had to to finish a rush job and I couldn't get a ride to where I needed to go any other way, and this time it was just too far to walk.)  I didn't even realize they liked me that much and made me wonder how many others did when I didn't even notice, and likely contributed to my decision to post here.

[Mark]

Woah Pix I don't even know how to begin to respond to all that. You've really had a trying few years.

Its often the down times when peoples true colours are shown, sometimes for the good and sometimes for the bad. Death does seem to show greed, and dividing possessions seems to highlight just how far people are willing to go to take something which is just disturbing.

I really do hope that Covid can avoid those special to you, and spare you anymore loss as you have been through more than enough already.

I'm really glad that overall you are content - and even if you don't end up hanging around all too often here I'm sure any contribution and posts will be received very gratefully.

Speak soon.

[Bhp91126]

Unfortunately I didn’t stay in touch with anybody. I had left in 16 because there was too much sh.t going on in my life. My dad had just passed and my brother got sick with brain cancer. Both my mother and I handled things as good as we could trying to be there for my brother and his family. He passed in April 18 and 1 month later my mother in law passed after a 15 year battle with Parkinson’s and another week later my father in law’s brother. Thankfully we both have large loving families. I retired at the end of May 18, but instead of starting to travel the world my previously retired husband and I just looked at each other and were happy we could stay home for a while. I started to do nude yoga which I enjoy a lot and am now volunteering at The Center Orlando, our GLBT Center. 2019 was pretty quiet for us and on 3/1/20 I keeled over at the gym, went to the ER and got myself a new aortic valve 3 days later. I’ve been in recovery ever since and started cardiac rehab this afternoon. I’ve been in quarantine at home since March 8, but going for a therapeutic walk outside every day, socially distancing of course.

[CellarDweller]

Pix, it's good to see you back, and that post is detailed.

Good for you on getting through it all! You are a hell of a strong person!

[Insertnamehere]

Aye.  @Meebs was kind to let me know this place was back on track after it got sucked into a black hole or something of the sort.

I took a break before that happened. Nice seeing familiar faces again in any case.

Nothing much interesting to report in these past 3 or so years.

Working.  Weird and messy personal life. Kidney stone at one point.

I was set to (finally) start my PhD May 1st in Spain, but SARS-CoV 2 hit hard and that is postponed at some point later in the year.

I think that is it.

EDIT: Well, no. I forgot I wasn't around here when I got fired in late 2017. Got a new job quickly though.

And the past 5 months have been full of social unrest and massive protests in the country. SARS-CoV 2 put a pause on that obviously.

P.S.

@"Pix"  good gawd woman. You must be tough as granite!

[Mark]

@Insertnamehere from speaking to friends in Spain at the moment it seems to be quite a frightening place to be. Italy and Spain just haven’t faired well at all. Are you residing there at the moment?

Welcome back by the way!

[InbetweenDreams]

@"Pix" Some Lawyers are dirt bags. Good ones do exist, but of course when you need one you usually don't have time research them well enough to know whether they're good or bad. I'm sorry to head about your Grandmother and hope your Mother stays safe. We have been very fortunate in western NC that there haven't been that many cases but you never know. I did not know you were an author, learning stuff about everyone with all these re-intro threads. Hope you and your partner stay safe and we hope to hear from you regularly here as we enjoy your company on here

[CarGuy65]

I'm back! Just got a notice yesterday and the first person I thought of and looked for was Cellar Dweller. Chatted with him yesterday. I really missed this site and the members when the site went down and am glad it is back. Nothing new with me. Still working as automotive is considered essential. Still with my bf Brian of almost 8 years. Not married but he thinks we are!
Glad to see many names I remember back already and hope we are all doing well in these times! Has anyone had any contact with Bowyn Aerrow?

[Meebs]

Welcome back @CarGuy65 !