Open Relationship

[Bobwehadababyitsaboy]

II’m a married man and I want an open relationship. I don’t feel like I please my husband. He rarely cums with me and isn’t really interested in sex with me in my opinion. I have done everything I thought I could do please him. I’m oral in every way and as a top I think I’m good but will take pointers but he offers nothing. He tops me and doesn’t cum. He doesn’t have a problem. I was his friend before his husband and I know the stories. I never felt like this in my life so it’s new. I’m use to mutual pleasure and everything being happy. I have blamed my body. I use to be 400 pounds. Now I’m 200 I have loose skin on my abdomen but it’s not bad in my opinion and my ass is not like it use to be. He never met the 400 pound me just 200. I have thought maybe it’s my butt? Maybe my stomach? I think I am an attractive guy but honestly I don’t even know now. I asked him to have an open relationship. I love him but starting to not desire him. I don’t see the point, I beg you for sex and even if he gives in I still feel low. Like I never in my life had to beg my partners for sex. It’s just been a normal give and take, balance. I have went over so many situations in my head and one thing that always sticks out is him telling me the person who is less interested in sex is the one who runs the relationship. Well now the attraction is low and having sex is like, why? You don’t want me sexually. Or maybe I’m just bad in bed. I mean I’ll do anything sexually I’m down for whatever but he is usually the one who does nothing, rarely oral sex, doesn’t really “touch me” I honestly feel like I do all the work. So I don’t get it? Am I bad in bed and just don’t realize it. Or is my husband not into me. Ugh I feel so dumb asking this but I’m extremely embarrassed

[Bhp91126]

Stop blaming yourself and ask hubby some pointed questions. You guys need to come to a mutual understanding regarding each other’s expectations about sex.

[CellarDweller]

Bhp is right. Blaming yourself solves nothing, and only makes you feel worse.

You need to sit down and have a serious discussion with your husband. That will give you some answers with what's going on, and how to proceed.

[InbetweenDreams]

I would definitely ask questions as @Bhp91126 has suggested. Based on what I learned in my last relationship it is equally possible that it could be something entirely different than what you would expect.

[Cridders88]

First of all, I am sorry things have become like this between you and your husband @Bobwehadababyitsaboy. Like the others have said, a full and frank conversation is the only way to solve this, for better or for worse. Opening up the relationship before doing that is not the answer here, it will only potentially mask the actual problem or actually end up in tears anyway - to have a successful open relationship requires good communication and boundaries. It might not be that he isn't attracted to you anymore, it could be numerous different things including personal struggles of his own. Having this conversation will be hard, but it is clear you guys can't go on as you are. See if you can get a reason for what's going on from him.