Quitting visual porn. Is written erotica as bad as porn?

[Jay]

Hi everyone.

I know that there's nothing wrong to watch porn once in while but I just would like to see if I can get rid of watching porn entirely. The reason why I would like to get rid of it is because, correct me if I'm wrong but porn scenes are hyper-stimulating triggers that can lead to unnaturally high levels of dopamine secretion. This can damage the dopamine reward system and leave it unresponsive to natural sources of pleasure.

This whole thing leads me to so many questions. Some of these questions probably sound silly but honest to god, I could use your opinion. Getting rid of porn cold turkey is tough. 

1. Is fantasizing erotic stuff in your mind as similar to watching porn? Is it okay to fantasize in your mind or is it unhealthy as watching porn? Can it damage the dopamine system too?
   
2. If yes, then how do you masturbate? Masturbation is good for your body but porn is not (if excessively). People normally link masturbating to watching porn or through fantasizing erotic stuff. How do you deal with masturbation?
   
3. What are your thoughts on the alternatives to visual porn such as written erotica and audio porn? Are these alternatives as bad as watching porn? Because by logic, these alternatives still stimulate your dopamine but perhaps in a smaller scale. Also, I do understand that by reading erotica and listening to audio porn can stimulate your interest to watch porn but I was thinking that it would be still be nice to have an alternative to visual porn (This sentence probably doesn't make sense but bear with me, it's 2.16am).
   

Many thanks. Good night.

[InbetweenDreams]

Hi everyone.

I know that there's nothing wrong to watch porn once in while but I just would like to see if I can get rid of watching porn entirely. The reason why I would like to get rid of it is because, correct me if I'm wrong but porn scenes are hyper-stimulating triggers that can lead to unnaturally high levels of dopamine secretion. This can damage the dopamine reward system and leave it unresponsive to natural sources of pleasure.

I would think that would only apply if someone watches porn excessively...

This whole thing leads me to so many questions. Some of these questions probably sound silly but honest to god, I could use your opinion. Getting rid of porn cold turkey is tough. 

1. Is fantasizing erotic stuff in your mind as similar to watching porn? Is it okay to fantasize in your mind or is it unhealthy as watching porn? Can it damage the dopamine system too?

Well, that's a catch 22, can you really control your own thoughts? Not saying you can't but it is probably pretty difficult and who knows what your mind is doing while you sleep, but I have woke up pretty wound up if you know what I mean... My thinking is most likely it is fine in most cases.

If yes, then how do you masturbate? Masturbation is good for your body but porn is not (if excessively). People normally link masturbating to watching porn or through fantasizing erotic stuff. How do you deal with masturbation?

I suppose if the answer were a solid yes you would have to learn to fantasize less erotic things... I think that is problematic.

What are your thoughts on the alternatives to visual porn such as written erotica and audio porn? Are these alternatives as bad as watching porn? Because by logic, these alternatives still stimulate your dopamine but perhaps in a smaller scale. Also, I do understand that by reading erotica and listening to audio porn can stimulate your interest to watch porn but I was thinking that it would be still be nice to have an alternative to visual porn (This sentence probably doesn't make sense but bear with me, it's 2.16am).

I never really got into things like phone sex but I do think it is erotic if you have a partner whispering in your ear and things like that...to an extent. Frankly I think the whole thing about porn is blown out of proportion and unless you got harry palms it is probably nothing to worry about. I do think watching too much porn can be bad yes, but unless you're addicted to porn or are constantly looking for more erotic stuff, it is probably not going to be an issue.

[calgor]

You don't specify whether you're using mostly using hard core stuff. If so have you tried using soft core porn? In other words instead of the usual wam bam thank you sir porn try stuff that involves more kissing and caressing and implies more than it shows. Granted finding it takes a little more effort but it might make you feel better about yourself if the porn you're currently using is leaving you a bit empty.
Regarding masturbating without some kind of visual or mental stimulation, I think that ended for most of us when we were teenagers so you're probably gonna have to settle on using something.

[Bhp91126]

Everything in moderation, even moderation.

No need to go cold turkey on the visual stimuli, as @calgor already mentioned there is softcore porn, there are pictures, art, etc. if masturbation is your main sexual activity, then you could vary the stimuli from wank to wank.

Even masturbation technics should be varied instead of always the same death-grip wank. It keeps your body receptive for all other kinds of physical stimulation happening during sex.

As for dopamine-sensitivity getting lower, I have absolutely no knowledge regarding what types of stimulation to use, however, actually wanking too often can really screw up your overall sensitivity to outside stimuli.

[Jay]

Sorry, should have mentioned that I watched hardcore porn. But in moderation and not excessively. After watching videos and reading articles related to NoFap involving dopamine, how it can affect your sex performance badly etc., I thought it would be a good idea to simply quit cold turkey. But the more I think about it and after reading your comments, the more ridiculous it sounds to quit cold turkey because I'm not addicted to porn. As you guys have said, it's all about moderation.

Okay, thanks for your thoughts on this subject. Really helps to clear out my confusion and set things straight up.

Thanks everyone. Appreciate it.

[calgor]

I've read some of these nofap threads on reddit. Guys who are going months on end without wanking(and apparently not having sex as well). I don't get it.

[Jay]

I've read some of these nofap threads on reddit. Guys who are going months on end without wanking(and apparently not having sex as well). I don't get it.

Yes, Reddit. That was my first encounter to NoFap. A discussion about not masturbating for a month was featured in the main reddit. 

Then I went googling to understand the NoFap campaign. It's a community/campaign to help you overcome porn addiction, porn overuse and compulsive sexual behaviour. Additionally, I also watched this fitness guy who recommends everyone to stop watching porn as it can affect your testosterone, mind, body etc. I got caught by his words. I think he meant well but yeah. 

This was the video that caught me. He made another two videos talking about stop watching porn. 

I think a lot of people mistranslated the NoFap campaign? Including myself because I thought there's a risk to masturbate/watch porn. But as you guys have reminded me - all in moderation and everything should be fine. It only becomes risky if you do/watch it excessively. NoFap meant to support the extreme ones.

About not having sex at all as part of NoFap. Okay, I don't get that part as well. I thought they are just retraining themselves from watching porn and masturbating.

Thanks for putting senses into my brain, guys. I celebrated myself last night. 

[InbetweenDreams]

I don't want to sound too judgey but he looks a little too muscular...but maybe not. At any rate @Jay you can't trust influencers... Afterall there are people out there peddling horse dewormer as an alternative to getting the covid vaccine.

[Jay]

I don't want to sound too judgey but he looks a little too muscular...but maybe not. At any rate @Jay you can't trust influencers... Afterall there are people out there peddling horse dewormer as an alternative to getting the covid vaccine.

You're right. Actually it didn't occur to me until after I have posted it. I'm not into influencers but somehow, I got caught with this guy. Probably because he's so cute, charismatic and seems like a nice guy. And also, embarrassingly I got caught into this no fap for testosterone by a fitness guy who told people that he is natural. I'm a gym guy who has seen a bodybuilder injecting steroid into his trainee in the gym. I don't how and why I got caught. Duh to me.

[InbetweenDreams]

To me it sound like a myth that testosterone goes down if you jerk off...I would be inclined to think the opposite, or perhaps losing the desire to have sex (not getting horny) would be a sign of low testosterone.

That all being said, we're all susceptible to all that stuff, myself included. It can be tricky to find genuine people. I mean you can find doctors on YouTube with large followings who say that statins are bad and list all the reasons why to a "medium" amount of depth, just enough for someone like me to buy into. There's a problem with that stuff and it may not be so much that they're wrong but how they put it into context is. Take the statin stuff for example, statins might not be good for you in the long run but having high cholesterol is probably worse in that it will increase the likelihood of having a heart attack. Of course they're the anti-vaxxers.

But yeah I wouldn't worry too much, whether it is hardcore stuff or not. I mean unless you're living at your computer and can no longer find any clean socks to wear, you're probably ok.