Is having a good physique necessary for men?

[Anonymous]

Hi Members,

Do you think having a good physique necessary for men? Good physique as in having bigger biceps, six-pack abs, etc.


I feel most guys nowadays focus on achieving bigger biceps and six-pack abs.

Do you think this is becoming like a desired quality in future dates/partners/boyfriends?


I have to admit. I used to feel fine with my body (though it not good physique). 

But recently, for the past year, I started to feel insecure about my body physique after looking at guys with good physique. I mean those buff guys are so confident of themselves that they can be shirtless and feel proud of it.

And most guys around my social circle have been working out and I have to say that they look more attractive after they have bigger biceps etc.


It has kind of made me feel interested to work out and have bigger biceps and six-pack abs. I want to look good when looking at the mirror and feel good of myself too.

I have slight low self-esteem of myself and I feel having a good physique will make me feel more confident of myself. Do you think this is a right approach to improve my self-esteem?


I just feel a bit guilty that I am becoming too obsessed with the materialistic aspect of my life by wanting to focus on wanting to workout.

What are your opinions about this?

[ChadCoxRox]

The beauty of it is you have choice! If you care for it, go for it! The question then is, what do you like for you? I can so with a bit of experience that if you are attracted to physically fit then it seems strategic that you'd engage in some sort of fitness. Lastly, the more you put into being fit now the more the effort will serve you later in life! You do not have to build lumps and mass. Cardio endurance sure can help with sex!

[InbetweenDreams]

I think it is somewhat natural to feel that way about wanting to get bigger muscles and working out. However, not everyone thinks muscular guys are attractive. Interests vary a lot. There's folks who like skinny guys, fat guys, hairy guys, tall guys, short guys...you get the idea.

Here's what I think. Working out, regardless if it is weight training or yoga, is good for your physical health but not always good for mental health. So if you're doing it strictly to look a certain way, well in my experience it won't work out when you don't get the attention you're seeking from other guys. Therefore, if you're going to work out, do it for your health and only because you want to look like all the other guys. Exercising can be a very good thing mentally. I remember getting done with a 5 mile run and feeling almost euphoric and generally in a better mood and destressed.

I got so hung up on trying to lose weight that when I didn't get the attention from guys online it kind of set me back. I suppose people can go one or two ways, either they take it to the extreme, thinking maybe they're still fat, don't look good enough and push harder, or they say fick it and give up. I don't think either of those are healthy choices, but someone who does it for the betterment of themselves is probably going to be successful. In 2015 I made a goal to do a triathlon (just a super sprint) and because that was the goal I made I kept with it and I did it. I didn't win anything but I did manage to lose some weight and I have flip flopped a few times, because I often do things for the wrong reasons. That and it's ok to fall of the horse, we are human, as long as you're willing to get back on.

As far as feeling insecure about your body, that's a tough thing to overcome, but it's your body. It's the most useful instrument you'll ever own and you should not feel ashamed of it or care about what other people think of it. Understand that we look at ourselves with a bias, so I imagine that you probably look better than you think. Guys who only like you because of your body probably aren't going to stick around for the long haul either.

[Tjemka88]

Having a good physique is necessary for yourself first and foremost. Exercise=health.

[Bhp91126]

What’s necessary to attract other men is that you like yourself and the way you look. If you want to attract muscle guys, you best have an impressive physique too. What counts for them is how much effort and discipline you invest into you, because they’ve put in a lot of time, effort (and maybe legal or illegal drugs) to get their bodies.

If you have never worked out, get yourself a qualified personal trainer.

6-pack abs mostly come out of the kitchen. They do not come from exercising alone. If your body fat is too high those won’t show. (No matter what exercise magazines, webpages etc promise you)

There are lots of ways to work out, do sports, exercise. Find out what you want to do and test the waters. Enjoy

[eastofeden]

It all depends on the guy - different guys want different things.

I would be turned off to six pack abs and an overly muscled physique - not a turn on for me.

As Bhp said - liking yourself is the best way to attract other men.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for your replies @eastofeden, @Bhp91126, @Tjemka88, @InbetweenDreams, @ChadCoxRox

[Insertnamehere]

Necessary? Not in my experience. My experience is mine alone though.

For some people, well, sure. Most of us sure don't hate looking at muscles and sculpted physiques, but when you find someone and you "click", that they might not look like that or that YOU don't look like that, becomes irrelevant. Again, my experience.