Alright so I was one of those really isolated kids, emotionally, who never dated, didn't like being touched(still don't like being touched), etc. etc. I had literally thought that i was incapable of loving, that is, until I fell hard for this girl who came out of nowhere, without even realizing it until a few days before we had to part ways. My question is, exactly as the title states, what constitutes flirting? We had really deep metaphorical conversations, and on occasion we would hold hands while talking, she played with my ear once, is that flirting or is that just friendly gestures? I don't have any experience with relationships, and i've been pondering it for the last few months, but I can't come to any conclusion because I'm not familiar with the emotional realm of basic human contact...so yeah lol if you guys can just give me your thoughts on this one i'd greatly appreciate it. I know I fell for her, i'm just curious as to what her purpose was because she had to work hard to get through to me just as a basic friendship, and i'm not sure because of some of those deeper moments if it could have been something more had i not been so anti social and repelling...
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Well Veritas, you sound on your way to emotional recovery, so don't despair. If you are ready to confide in, talk to, and let yourself fall in love with someone, you are on the right tracks.
What constitutes flirting? That's a difficult one. Sometimes it is just best to ask. "Is that a friendly gesture or are you flirting with me?" Two souls can sometimes meet in a platonic relationship, sometimes they'll meet on a more physical level and want it sexual. What do you want out of a relationship at the moment? Are you prepared for just a platonic relationship, or would you like something at a deeper physical level?
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Girls are a lot more emotional bonded than guys. So be cautious. If it were a guy holding your hand and playing with your ear, I'd say he is crazy about you. Girls are harder to read in that sense. She may just feel really comfortable and feel close to you. Trust your brains and instincts and don't let your emotions cloud your judgment. If she is gay you'll figure it out.
If she is straight don't ruin a friendship that is emotionally beneficial to you by running her away . She may accept you being gay, but not as a suitor.
Have you ever thought about just telling her something like " Your a great friend. I feel close to you, but i don't want there to be secrets. I am gay" ?
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i can only speak from what i think so dont take any of this as gospel at all - you say you dont like been touched but you took down your walls and held hands, bravo cos that must have been hard for u, if anyone touched my ears i would see as a definate sign of effection towards me, possiblly flirting yes..she persevered even though you say "had i not been so anti social and repelling" she must have made a connection with you to get to know you well enough to have deep metaphorical conversations..in short - i think she has a thing for you - and i hope you get together because i think she fell for you too. go for it and maybe you have met your soulmate, never know till you try
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Curt made a poin though, men pick up on emotional things different to women - i just read mens fitness magazine and the article claimed that women give off 31 sexual signals - yet men can miss as many as 30 of them !!! so were not the brightest stars in the sky, but touching someones ears is a great way to my heart so i hope it works for you too
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Thanks for the replies guys I appreciate it. Matty i like to think that it may have turned out that way, but unfortunately our jobs have us literally across the world from each other...and you know how friendships can detereorate when your not around one another. It's cool though. And Curt she is gay, I'm the one who didn't have my shit figured out(key the antisocialness) but it's okay i guess. I was just curious so provided there's a next time, i don't screw it up. Hah and wow 31 sexual signs? Cuz i'm pretty sure i don't give off any lol either that or i'm with you guys and miss 30!
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I think the answer is in your name, Veritas! If she is on the other side of the world and you are never going to meet again, then you have nothing to lose by telling her the truth and it would be very good practice for you, don't you think? You have to practise NOT speaking in metaphors, I think. Elton John's song 'Sorry is the Hardest word' may be true for some people for others saying "I love you" can be a lot harder. If she has gone to live on the far side of the moon, she could still possibly come back, if there was a good enough reason - maybe not tomorrow or even next year but some day. I live in Spain but I would fly to Australia to show someone I loved them, if I were in your situation. But first I would phone or email and tell them I loved them and wait and see what their response was. If you tell her the truth, you have nothing to lose. If you do not tell her the truth, you could lose everything. If you tell her the truth and never see her again, at least there is more likely to be another woman for you to love in the future and you will have taken a big step forward.
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