Attracted to my best friend.

[Colin86]

Hi, need some advice, thought this would be a good place to ask for some, and hopefully get this off my chest.

I thought i was straight, ive slept with girls, and am usually attracted to them, but since i met this guy at uni this year, hes become a very close friend, he often stays over at mine (in the same bed). I think about him lots, and feel attracted to him sexually, but hes the only guy ive felt like this for.

I have a gay roomate, but didnt want to tell him this not sure why

we make jokes about being a couple, becos we spend so much time together, and one drunken night while he stayed at mine, we were only wearing our boxers and we kissed, but we havnt talked about it since.

basically, i just need someone to talk to.i really want him to like me back, but dont want to ruin our friendship, but im frightened about admitting i like another guy.

[CurtCB]

I think you should talk to him.
It's not like you are admitting to the whole world that you like him besides, I think he pretty much knows what's on your mind since you guys kissed.
Even if you two were drinking all that amounts was that you both lost your inhibitions and just did what was on your mind to do.

[marshlander]

You've slept in the same bed? Time for a little pillow talk to discuss some of your concerns maybe?

[matty7]

If u guys have kissed already and have have still shared the bed after this then i think there's a very good chance he's havin the same feelings about you and is probably just as confused about what to do about them as you.

try and bring the subject about your feelings up in some kind of light hearted way if at all possible, first just to test the water with some questions, i.e just say he looks good in the t-shirt he's wearing...something simple like that, if you get a favorable responce then build the questions to where u can tell him your attracted to him - looks like a good time to ask that is when you've both had a drink again as you've both let yourselves go in that situation already...good luck anyway mate.

[princealbertofb]

It's not easy, is it? You come into this world and you think you may have things sorted out, when in fact the information about what romance may entail is not very well documented (at least about gay relationships). One might think that one can only be gay or straight but in fact we often just fall in love with another person, no matter what their gender. If we were all to follow our hearts, there would probably be more bi sexuals than anything and maybe less warfare. And probably more people who'd admit to being polygamous. It's just that the stigma of being gay or committing any sexual acts with members of one's own sex or being 'unfaithful' (polygamous) is still very strong and confuses us. What to do morally, ethically and emotionally becomes a hurdle race for which many young (and older people) are unprepared for.
The mateys here seem to think that your attraction for each other is obvious, which it might well be, but you'll be the only one who can judge. Sometimes, after the heat, some people regret what they've done. You wouldn't like your friend to turn you down and yet you'd like to question the depth of his feelings for you. You can reveal what you're feeling, at least, if you are not feeling cornered, or uncomfortable about it. I'd say try to remain safe, if you go to deeper things, and keep your head on your shoulders. Try to do this the sober way, that way you'll be able to cope with the responses in a less confusing way. You might caution him with something like saying that you don't want to hurt his feelings or lose his friendship if you express something that is out of line. Be ready to retreat (verbally or physically) if you see that things are not going as you'd wish. I'd also verbalise, probably, the difficulties of coming to terms with what is obviously new ground for you. Be truthful, that will probably be your best ally (if not for him, then for yourself). Good luck with the conversation... and the rest of the relationship.

[matty7]

Hey princealbert,
Thats one of the best passages i've read in a very very long time, cheers

It's not easy, is it? You come into this world and you think you may have things sorted out, when in fact the information about what romance may entail is not very well documented (at least about gay relationships). One might think that one can only be gay or straight but in fact we often just fall in love with another person, no matter what their gender. If we were all to follow our hearts, there would probably be more bi sexuals than anything and maybe less warfare. And probably more people who'd admit to being polygamous. It's just that the stigma of being gay or committing any sexual acts with members of one's own sex or being 'unfaithful' (polygamous) is still very strong and confuses us. What to do morally, ethically and emotionally becomes a hurdle race for which many young (and older people) are unprepared for.

[Colin86]

Thank you so much for the advice guys.

I really dont want to ruin our friendship, and would prefer just to keep these feelings to myself, but theres a part of me that really wants to let him know how i feel, but neither of us have been with a guy before, and we often talk about girls weve been out with or fancy.

princealbertofb, thanks for that, really made me think.

I just never thought this would happen, im not atracted to any other guys.

[Colin86]

Just a quick update, I told him how I feel, and he does feel the same way, but didn;t know what to say or if he should even bring it up, just like me.Were still not sure what we want to happen at this stage, but atleast I know how he feels.

[CurtCB]

Just a quick update, I told him how I feel, and he does feel the same way, but didn;t know what to say or if he should even bring it up, just like me.Were still not sure what we want to happen at this stage, but atleast I know how he feels.

I think you guys will do just fine. Cheers mate.:biggrin:

[Xxzerox1x]

Hot you 2 sound compelled to each other.