how come im so suicidal

[mooninleo]

Hey Marsh,

Anon's post began with 'how come im so suicidal.' So right there I'm gonna assume the 'how come' in his question is asking for some kind of help or guidance.

Hes in his early thirties and he doesn't want to end up being 55 and depressed. I offered him some kind words and some things that I've found to be helpful when dealing with depression.

And maybe he was looking for someone his own ages opinion because they're going through the same experiences at this time. \

'I just want to be left alone'.. I never said there was anything wrong with what hes doing or that he should be going out into the world. I gave him some advice about what i've done help me be alone and be introspective.

Austin

[Ultra]

Apparently, some people are suicidal throughout most of their lives. I outgrew my suicidal tendencies as I got well into my 20's. I was saying that I would commit suicide if my partner left me... then my partner told me to get help. However, I was just only scaring him and I was stupid about saying that. I didn't really mean that. My partner was more suicidal than me and I told him that he would outgrow it. Apparently he did... now he said that he would kill himself if I was never there for him... he's alive and well.

[eastofeden]

I was trying to resist writing anything here but it is bugging me so I have to say it for better or worse...my reaction to this post is anger. My youngest brother took his life at 32 in 2005...and I am still angry about it....but that is not the core of the anger I feel....

...a couple years ago back east somewhere there was a lesbian girl who was depressed and wanted to end it so she ran her car into a mother and her child killing both of them...she is fine...

...locally here a wonderful woman who owned a favorite restaurant that had burned was surveying the new site and a distraught suicidal man decided to plow into her killing her...leaving her children without a parent and he is fine...

I felt rage when I saw this post and his wanting to go over a freeway overpass...I feel like I am speaking with someone who does not care what damage they do to other people...it is incredibly selfish.

I really want to be compassionate and I might be if I didn't read the part about going off of the freeway overpass...killing other people is murder...not suicide.

[Genersis]

I was trying to resist writing anything here but it is bugging me so I have to say it for better or worse...my reaction to this post is anger. My youngest brother took his life at 32 in 2005...and I am still angry about it....but that is not the core of the anger I feel....

...a couple years ago back east somewhere there was a lesbian girl who was depressed and wanted to end it so she ran her car into a mother and her child killing both of them...she is fine...

...locally here a wonderful woman who owned a favorite restaurant that had burned was surveying the new site and a distraught suicidal man decided to plow into her killing her...leaving her children without a parent and he is fine...

I felt rage when I saw this post and his wanting to go over a freeway overpass...I feel like I am speaking with someone who does not care what damage they do to other people...it is incredibly selfish.

I really want to be compassionate and I might be if I didn't read the part about going off of the freeway overpass...killing other people is murder...not suicide.

I'm sorry to hear about those happenings.:frown:



I think people should have the right to kill themselves if they are well informed and are without doubt in their desision.
But why would people even consider a method that could endanger the lives of others? Have they no guilt? Do they really only think of themselves? I hope not.

Sure, i'll admit i did contemplate suicide a couple of times durring my school years. Never once did i feel i'd want to go through with it. But i DID think about it. But i would of just wanted to disapear off of the radar. Not killing two people with me! I'd of rather died without such guilt thanks.

[eastofeden]

I'm sorry to hear about those happenings.:frown:



I think people should have the right to kill themselves if they are well informed and are without doubt in their desision.
But why would people even consider a method that could endanger the lives of others? Have they no guilt? Do they really only think of themselves? I hope not.

Sure, i'll admit i did contemplate suicide a couple of times durring my school years. Never once did i feel i'd want to go through with it. But i DID think about it. But i would of just wanted to disapear off of the radar. Not killing two people with me! I'd of rather died without such guilt thanks.

I am glad you are still here (((Genersis)))...I also contemplated suicide a few times during and after High School. When I was a bartender I had many conversations about suicide with many different people who had attempted or were contemplating it...somewhere along the way I got it in my head that if you commit suicide you come right back in similar or worse conditions and I beleive that with 100% of my being so any inclination to leave before my time has been replaced with this self imposed fear.

[TuxSky]

Those stories made me angry, I can't believe someone would be so selfish.

I've contemplated suicide as well for a number of reasons but never went through with it because I was afraid of what would happen when I was dead (nothingness and hell are both scary to think about). Eventually my mom died and that was my first brush with death and after seeing how it affected not only me but her and everyone around me, I started thinking differently.

She had cancer and I remember my whole family and I spent one night with her, that night the doctor said that there was nothing they could do and we all thought that she was going to die that night. It was terrible, just waiting for her to die, I could just imagine how she felt knowing she'd be gone soon, leaving all of us behind. I never asked her if she accepted the inevitable or how she felt that night but I knew she still held on strong. After that night, I thought that suicide was a rather selfish thing to do, there's people who are fighting for their lives and you want to willingly end your life?

So right now, I see suicide as just wanting to find an easy way out. I think that no matter how hard your situation is there might be someone out there with it worse so I'd never commit suicide because I think it's unfair to them in a way. And I think that there's always the chance that tomorrow things might get better, I know some people might find that naive or something but I think it's better to live thinking like that than be fatalistic.

Anyways, it looks like I started rambling so if any what I just said doesn't make any sense you'd have to excuse me. lol

[Genersis]

Just wanted to give a massive hug to all of those who participated in this thread.:biggrinNot that i was the one who started this thread)
Its nice to know you all felt comfortable in even just talking about this sensetive subject, let alone to share your own expirences.mile:

[fenris]

Normally I don´t want to talk about suicide ... because I have the fear that people get on stupid Ideas ...

But here are so many opinions and storys .. so I think one more or less only should more be a help as a problem.
I´ve lost 2 known people and a friend in the last 15 years by suicide ... all of them was very tragic. But the one, as this friend hanged up himself in his own livingroom I can´t forget. He thought nobody wants him ...and for him it seems that he has no friends and family.... and he was so wrong. Ok, his family was a bunch of losers ... but he ever had friends... weeks after the funeral and someone of his family has found his suicide- note a guy talked to another friend of myself that he had loved him... and wants to tell him... but 2 days before he want to do was the suicide. We all were so shocked ...
I don´t want to write more about this story - because its not needed.

For me - since this happend - its a must to answer questions about being gay, about living as a gay and being proud about it - And I am proud !

But for those who think about suicide I want say one sentence :

Don´t steal you own future ... you never know what your future brings, and it is better to live some time in a problematic situation .. as being dead a whole live.

and for the others: never refuse even the smallest help.. you never know how much it is needed.