Partner & I

[adzie]

On new years eve, myself and my boyfriend went to our local gay club/bar to celebrate the new year.

We both got drunk, we both started to talk to other people etc. However, the lads my boyfriend was talking to didn't turn out to be as nice as they seemed. They saw I was drunk, and I admit I am a bit of a flert. It's something that I cannot help, but I do my best to control when drunk. Anyway, they saw this and exploited it by getting their straight friend to pretend to be gay and come onto me. Stupidly, I fell for this and flerted back.

There was no physical contact what so ever, all the way through the night I had no physical contact with anyone except my friend whos works there (A kiss on the cheek after midnight).

Anyway, as the night got on, my boyfriend old 'mates' started talking to him a lot more. I know he doesn't like him, so was so unsure why my boyfriend was allowing him to buy drinks and get close to him. All the way through the night, he was being brought drinks. This really upset me, so I started to draw my attention away from my boyfriend and focus mostly on my friends.

Anyway, shortly after midnight, the 3 guys who I mentioned started talking to my boyfriend and he was getting really upset, crying even.... As I went to the toilet I was met in there by one of them who started accusing me of being "Overpowering" and "Coming onto guys". He said I was treating my boyfriend like shit, and that if it was his boyfriend he would be with him all the time.

I felt this was really unfare, to add insult more, every person who came in to the toilets, he started telling them that I was a bad boyfriend and a bad person, making me feel really small and reduced me to tears.

I got out of the room and demanded that my boyfriend and I were to leave, which he didn't want to. So I said one more hour and we are going. After that, (I am still slightly drunk at this stage) my boyfriends old friend started talking to me, as i replied he kissed me on the lips, I didnt realise this untill after and just continues talking then walked away.

All through the night, I was being made to feel like I was the bad person, like I had done wrong. Due to this, in the morning I broke up with my boyfriend.

I explained that nothing had happened and this was all lies, yet after being with my boyfriend for 10 months he chose to believe others over me!

Thing is, I really do love him and I want him back. Likewise, he feels the same to. But I just can't bring myself to do it. I miss his family most of all, and I don't want them getting hurt because of him being upset.

What should i do?!

(Want to point out, that I do suffer from anxiety and depression, hence all the guilt and worry has drawn me to suicidal thoughts once again. Which is another reason why Im reluctent to go back with him)

[marshlander]

Anxiety, depression, alcohol and bunches of interfering friends sounds like a pretty explosive recipe to me.

You want him back, he wants you back. Only do it if that's what you feel is right for you. Don't do it for his family, however nice they may be.

Any chance of having a heart to heart and face to face talk with him ... preferably without the Greek chorus in attendance?

Hope you manage to sort it soon - whichever way it goes.

[adzie]

I can always have a face to face with him, but when he cries it rips my heart to shreads. Thats why I'm avoiding it, I can't take anymore pain. I'm sorry if that sounds selfish.

[gaygay33]

Try to relax.
Do you think it could have been the alcohol talking? Does your ex/boyfriend have a problem that he can't deal with and this is his way of expressing it?

What do you want him back for? Try to list the good and the bad and see which one has more.

[Rychard the Lionheart]

A good and honest talk is in order here, both of you need to sit down a work this out. If both of you love each other and want to keep the relationship going, then you have to overcome your anxiety and depression.

Did the so called mates realise the day after that the comments they made was bad and said they were sorry to your bf and you, if not maybe you should get them to. Might help you and your bf get back together again.

[Kiid]

I say confront him. Be strong man you will get through it and out the other side ok if you just push your self.

[adzie]

I don't know the guys, don't have a clue who they are. And I have been weighing the good and bad points up.

I think I want to get back with him, I was out with my mate last night till early hours, and really enjoyed his company. It made me realise how much I really do miss him.

He keeps saying to me that he's not going to let 10 months of 'joy' be over in a flash, but he's not calling the shots anymore.

I think I may see him tonight, but only to give him a b-day card for his sis, tomorrow I'll concider our options and make a decision.

Thanks guys.

[peterinmalaga]

If this were a game, Adzie, it would be more important who wins. But it's not, is it. You love him, he loves you. Something stupid happened. You're not going to let that spoil it all, are you. You shouldn't be worrying about who's calling the shots. If you make the first move, you are the stronger one in my book. But does that matter? I don't think so. Love is not a game. You both need to stop playing games and the one who stops first is the more mature one.