When Should You Inform Your (Partner) of an STI?

[Anonymous]

I recently contracted what I believe to be genital herpes. I've never dealt with anything like this before.

I had a date with this one guy. Things got hot, I didn't let him go below my belt. He messaged me later that night saying basically "what's wrong with you? What do you have?"

I didn't tell him outright what my concern was. I don't know for sure what I have. I made sure he was in no danger what so ever. But I can still understand his anger.

So my question is, at what stage in the relationship is it a good time to divulge that kind of information? The first date? A month? The second before sex?

When would you tell a guy and when would you prefer a guy tell you?

[peterinmalaga]

I would want to know at least a few days before sex was contemplated. If that's not possible, then as soon as possible. Even if you were not sure that you had an STI but there were a possibility, I would still want to know as soon as possible. That would not necessarily mean that there would be no sex or that the relationship was off. I think that you owe it to any sexual partner to be honest with them about these things. If it is a question of a long term relationship, telling him would be the best way to build trust between you. I think some people would disagree with me. It's just my opinion.

[snoopy]

i couldn,t think of a wise answer but i reckon peter has got is spot on , good luck x

[ardus]

Plain and simple, if you are sleeping with him he has a right to know. It might cause him to go away, it might not, but if you are in a position to put another person at risk you have to inform them.
Richard

[albabonzai]

As long as you don't willingly have sex with them knowing you have summit, as that is illegal and you can be jailed for it!!

You should tell them immediately, if they cant wait till you are all cleared up and given the ok from you doc then they not worth it...

[marshlander]

Strange that the medical expert on the NHS website seems to play down telling the partner.

Do I need to tell my partner?
If your check-up shows that you have genital herpes then it is not normally recommended that your partner has a check-up, unless they have symptoms. The doctor or nurse will talk to you about whether or not it may be helpful to talk to your sexual partner(s) and how to do this.

Although not life threatening genital herpes sounds unpleasant and I certainly would not want to put someone at risk of catching it, considering it is possible to pass it on sometimes even if the sores are not present.

I'd go along with Peter on this one.

[gaygay33]

[quote=Anonymous]I recently contracted what I believe to be genital herpes. I've never dealt with anything like this before.

I had a date with this one guy. Things got hot, I didn't let him go below my belt. He messaged me later that night saying basically "what's wrong with you? What do you have?"

I didn't tell him outright what my concern was. I don't know for sure what I have. I made sure he was in no danger what so ever. But I can still understand his anger.

So my question is, at what stage in the relationship is it a good time to divulge that kind of information? The first date? A month? The second before sex?

When would you tell a guy and when would you prefer a guy tell you?[/quote
please explain to them before you get intimate so they'll be able to use proper protection! you can still have sexual relationships with protection and you won't be breaking trust with someoen

[princealbertofb]

I'd say the question is a little akin to going to a prostitute for sex and not knowing that she charges (or he charges) by the hour. How would you like to find out after the act that there is a price to pay?

Inform before and make sure whatever you do is safe for your partner, if you decide to go beyond the comfort zone... Also, if something happens that neither of you knew about before you engaged in sexual intercourse, then both get tested and medicated or have the proper treatment for it. Inform all other potential partners.

The best, in your case, Anonymous, would be to get as much information about what you have contracted, so that you can inform your partner knowingly of what you can do and what it is best you shouldn't do together... Talk to your physician about it and ask what the right thing to do is healthwise. Stick to it as much as possible.
Once informed, anyone can make an intelligent decision.