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Gay teens coming out earlier to peers and family
#51
Wow, that got pet heated ^. Ah well.

Personally, I don't think people shoul really be that bothered about coming out to families. It really doesn't concern them. Straigh people don't announce that they're straight to their parents, nor do they just announce that they've slept with a woman. If/when you have a boyfriend, just tell your parents that you would like to introduce them. I suppose you could call that coming out, but there shouldn't be such a fuss made over it.
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#52
Pickles Wrote:Wow, that got pet heated ^. Ah well.

Personally, I don't think people shoul really be that bothered about coming out to families. It really doesn't concern them. Straigh people don't announce that they're straight to their parents, nor do they just announce that they've slept with a woman. If/when you have a boyfriend, just tell your parents that you would like to introduce them. I suppose you could call that coming out, but there shouldn't be such a fuss made over it.
Interesting. It shouldn't, but it does and I believe we have to make a bit of a thing about it. Our whole lives we are raised with families, friends and institutions having expectations about the way things are going to be. Of course straight people don't have to come out; they are pretty well likely to meet most of those expectations. Apart from anything else coming out is a sign of respect to those we love and who we know love us, that everything is actually okay and they needn't worry. We have priorities to which they may need to adjust and we may need a little support and understanding from them from time to time ... just not in they way they may have expected.
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#53
marshlander Wrote:Don't be too hard on RIZZ, Colin! I think her English is excellent. I wouldn't know a single word of Bulgarian!

Sorry. Unless there is a very obvious gramatic deviation I tend not to notice where a person comes from, so I didn't take into account that English wasn't RIZZ's first language. Her English is excellent so I may have mistook a minor translation error for a subtlety in word usage that wasn't there.

The regret is mine, not Rizz's. My appologies, RIZZ.
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#54
Quote:Wow, that got pet heated ^. Ah well.

Personally, I don't think people shoul really be that bothered about coming out to families. It really doesn't concern them. Straigh people don't announce that they're straight to their parents, nor do they just announce that they've slept with a woman. If/when you have a boyfriend, just tell your parents that you would like to introduce them. I suppose you could call that coming out, but there shouldn't be such a fuss made over it.

Wow...you make an excellent point! I have never thought of it that way!



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#55
most people know when the time is right. truth is though, if you have that much conflict within you, you're not in the right place to be honest just yet.

it's tough. but you're never alone.
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#56
colinmackay Wrote:Sorry. Unless there is a very obvious gramatic deviation I tend not to notice where a person comes from, so I didn't take into account that English wasn't RIZZ's first language. Her English is excellent so I may have mistook a minor translation error for a subtlety in word usage that wasn't there.

The regret is mine, not Rizz's. My appologies, RIZZ.
You may have mistaken... lol Wink
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#57
zeon Wrote:Hi All,
I realised i was "different" at the age of 11.. I didnt know i was gay until i was 14 as at 11 all gay ment was stupid as a slang term.. Well as soon as i left school i confided in my brother to tell him im gay and fair play he didint tell no one about me which was nice of him then one christmas night over monopoly (when i was 17) my brother started behaving like a twat and going rent boi.. Everytime i landed on his property so as time went on i could feel pressure inside and then eventually blew my top and went ok ok so fucking what??? Yea your dying to tell mum and everyone that your brother is a fucking faggot and takes it up the shitter yeah now that mum knows u gonna stop this shit?..
Well mums jaw dropped and i stormed off and my brother was downstairs shouting run faggot boi run and the next thing i know his got a split nose where mum smacked him one.. She stood up and said whether his gay or not his your brother your flesh and your blood.. My brother tried to disown me but mum said that we both got same mum and dad so no matter what whether he likes it or not theres a gay man in his family..
Well my brother kept trying to get reactions out of people and it wasnt working.. My family were sticking by my side.. Well my nan keeps insisting that im not gay so a few times shes said something very nasty to me so to offend her ive filled her INBOX on yahoo mail with lots and lots and lots of gay porn and put YOUR GRANDSON IS A FAGGOT GET OVA IT!..

Of course i wouldnt recommend that action to be taken but its a way to make people stop judging ya..

Coming out to someone is hard but my advice is tell the family first as they are the closest then once a few people know tell more and more and more and u get more confident in yourself and whatnot else

Kindest regards

zeon x

Loved your story.I tip my hat to you.
Personally I came from a small town in Newfoundland Canada where I was never in the closet.I realized I was different around 13 but had no role models TV Internet to go by or compare.Because I've always been a rebel I considered myself just as normal and good as the rest.I have four older brothers around my age who nobody f**ked with so I was always safe.I think if you stand up you win and if you sit down you lose.I was lucky I guess but not everyone is.I came out to my parents at 17.My Mom supported me and my Dad turned on me.Didn't bother me though as I never liked him anyway.Whatever you do..............Be who you were meant to be and by what you've written you're doing that wonderfully.Smiles across the miles!
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#58
I can help if you like but I'm still a newbie so I dunno if I have to wait a while before I can.
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#59
I came out very early, I find it easier that way. Get it out in the open before anyone thinks twice about it.
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