problems at home...

[prinnydood]

i have a bit of a dilemma on my mind...

my mom and her boyfriend are breaking up, again. they've been together for years, and i think this is it for them.

first, i don't know how to comfort my mom or help her feel better

second, i'm moving out within the month and feel very bad about leaving her alone with an empty apartment...

this makes my plans to move out feel really selfish... but i want to move in with my bf and try living on my own. listening to my mom argue and yell at her bf and crying whenever they talk is reeeeeeeeeally making this hard

i'm also a little worried about the fact that depression runs in our family, and if she happens to become suicidal after i leave, i'd never forgive myself.

anyone have any advice?

[fjp999]

[COLOR="Purple"]WoW Sorry to hear about your dilemma.

I know it is hard but you should try your dream and see how it goes with making it on your own (or with your bf).

If your place isnt too far from your mom then stop in as often as you can or at least phone often.

In the beginning it might be helpful for you to stay overnight a few times to make sure all is well after you move. Also doing things with your mom, like going out to lunch or grocery shopping or just a walk, will let you keep an eye on her condition.

Best of luck with this tough situation and good on your for caring![/COLOR]

[Kiid]

Give her lots of hugs. I like hugs when I'm sad.

But yeah do try things with you bf and call in as often as you can, and just be there from her.

[marshlander]

Family breakups ... you are not responsible.

They are grown adults and have come to this decision themselves. If you don't stick to your plans will there ever be a good time to go? Of course she will need to know you care and that you will listen if she wants to talk, but fjp's response is a sensible one in my view.

Were the worst to happen, it would be her decision. Depression does not always lead to suicide, though, even if it does feel like nothing will ever be right again. Would your bf be okay with her visiting you occasionally too? We often feel we have to fix things, do things to make them better. Sometimes people just need us to be, rather than to do.

Don't change your plans, but be prepared to be a bit flexible if circumstances demand.

Very best wishes to you all in this horribly stressful time.

[fredv3b]

Frank and Marshy give very good advice to which I don't have anything to add other than my sympathies for your situation. However there was one thing I did not quite understand...

i want to move in with my bf and try living on my own.

So which of these do you want to do?

[peterinmalaga]

If your Mum is splitting up, then she or he or both want it that way and think they will be better off that way. When she gets used to the idea, she'll be able to make a new beginning. Fjp has given you some very sound advice and so has Marshie. It won't help your Mum if you are miserable too, in fact you would only add to her problems. So go and see her often, phone when you can't and text her several times a day. Take her flowers, wine, chocolates, whatever and give her lots of cuddles and reassurance. Tell her you love her.
Nearly everybody goes through what your Mum is having to cope with and it is far from easy. I am sure she will feel a lot happier in her mind if she sees that you are doing well. So don't guilt-trip yourself. Enjoy your relationship with your boyfriend and let the happiness in your life spill over into hers.

[prinnydood]

thanks to everyone who posted i'm feeling better about it, i've just been terribly stressed since i'm moving out and starting school within a couple weeks of each other.

and fred, i meant living away from my family, with my bf.