salamander7 Wrote:I kind of want to say he's unsure of himself. If he was feeling anything for me, he was probably trying to repress it. Then I go and tell him I like him, it must have been major mindfuck.
I want you to know first thing that the advice others have given you is not wrong he is straight (preferably so). But I'm not saying that your wrong either.
He prefers to be with a women. But just like every human he does have thoughts of experiencing same sex as well, you know what I mean? And you have been lucky enough to spark that flame. Believe me I know I was lucky enough to end up in a similar relationship my friend and I went through this he was the quarter back and the hottest guy in school hands down. And that is what probes another problem in the situation. He is without a doubt worried about is popularity status. Like say if someone where to find out or if people began to question your closeness.
I'm thinking maybe you should distance yourself a little bit to see how that goes you know. Just to see if he reacts any differently or any tell tale signs that he what you back "closer" to him. Though your conversations with him haven't damaged your friendship I'm quite sure I'm right by saying that there is some unsaid tension between the two. Focus on trying to ease this tension and things should be easier for the both of you whether it turns out of the better or worst on your part.
I hope this helps and I would like to know more of the situation if you don't mind.
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I think you have summed things up pretty well. I prefer women as well, and it took me a while to accept my feelings for him. I do honestly believe he is (mostly) straight, but his actions towards me lead me to believe that it isn't 100%. If you would like to read more about this, there is a thread on Gay Teen Forum, under the drama section, called Breaking the Ice. It's basically a small novel.
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Thanks I will. And keep n mind that not all of us are born gay or bi. some of us just "turn out" that way (like me lol). Everything will come in it's due time. Best of luck to ya buddy.
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Thanks. You wouldn't happen to have any suggestions on how to "ease the tension", would you? haha.
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i would actually need a better description of tense it is but i think i can give a good go as to think that you too aren't as close to one another physically when your hangin out and your conversations are a tad off.
don't get to close to him but try to strike up conversations the way you two used to. give him a sense that you want things be the way they used to be without the "intimacy."
but again i need a bit more to go on hope this helps.
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Geminight Wrote:i would actually need a better description of tense it is but i think i can give a good go as to think that you too aren't as close to one another physically when your hangin out and your conversations are a tad off.
don't get to close to him but try to strike up conversations the way you two used to. give him a sense that you want things be the way they used to be without the "intimacy."
but again i need a bit more to go on hope this helps.
He is usually the one to strike up conversations, we used to talk every sunday night on aim until I confronted him the first time. In terms of physical closeness, if anyone's getting any closer it's him. We'll be in class sitting at our tables and he'll lean way over towards me while taking notes. He also choose to share a (noticeably small) bed with me on a school field trip, after I told him how I felt. I think I mentioned this, but he does still look at me when he thinks I don't notice. Not constantly, but more than a normal person would.
It's funny you mentioned the "distance yourself" bit. One day this week he was out for the day, rather than text me about the homework he called, and the next two days he was especially talkative and friendly. After a few days though he'll quiet down and pull away from me a bit. He's generally been acting weird around me lately, like he doesn't know how to act. I think he's confused about himself and me, I wish there was some way I could figure out what he's thinking so I could act accordingly or help in some way.
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I wouldn't distance yourself and I wouldn't make any more moves on him. In fact I wouldn't advise you to do anything at all out of the ordinary. Just enjoy his friendship and appreciate him for what he is or wants to be now. You've played your cards and he has no problem with that. The next move (if there is one) is his.
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peterinmalaga Wrote:I wouldn't distance yourself and I wouldn't make any more moves on him. In fact I wouldn't advise you to do anything at all out of the ordinary. Just enjoy his friendship and appreciate him for what he is or wants to be now. You've played your cards and he has no problem with that. The next move (if there is one) is his.
I agree completely. What I'm looking for at this point is just to make sure I'm not interpreting some of his actions the way I am, if that makes sense.
In other words, I think he still likes me even though he said he didn't I wanted to make sure I'm not just getting my hopes up.
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I know I am late to this thread, but thought I would throw my thoughts into the mix.
When you are keen on a guy that you think is straight it can often be that looking for 'gay signs' is incredibly biased - tiny signs you pick up on an run with, but bigger 'straight signs' you may fail to notice or give less priority in your thinking. Thats from my experience, and drawing on experience of other friends.
Why did he chose to share that (small) bed with you? Well it could be that as you guys are close he would rather share the bed with you than the other guys, or maybe as a friend knowing you are gay he didnt want you to feel uncomfortable if it ended up with you and another guy sharing. I am not saying I am right, just that there are other possibilities to consider.
Maintain or build the friendship you have with this guy, he sounds like a nice guy. You might end up with a really strong friendship, you might end up with more - whichever way it goes, enjoy what you have.
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juk Wrote:I know I am late to this thread, but thought I would throw my thoughts into the mix.
When you are keen on a guy that you think is straight it can often be that looking for 'gay signs' is incredibly biased - tiny signs you pick up on an run with, but bigger 'straight signs' you may fail to notice or give less priority in your thinking. Thats from my experience, and drawing on experience of other friends.
Why did he chose to share that (small) bed with you? Well it could be that as you guys are close he would rather share the bed with you than the other guys, or maybe as a friend knowing you are gay he didnt want you to feel uncomfortable if it ended up with you and another guy sharing. I am not saying I am right, just that there are other possibilities to consider.
Maintain or build the friendship you have with this guy, he sounds like a nice guy. You might end up with a really strong friendship, you might end up with more - whichever way it goes, enjoy what you have.
I know it's very biased, and I do try to take this into consideration
Just one thing that's bothering me- the three of us were on another school trip, and the two of them were in our room changing. When I knocked on the door, he started making noises and pretending like the other guy was giving him a blowjob. Also, we were at a restaurant, and not only did he ignore me the whole time (other than looking at me once, followed by a period of awkwardness when I noticed), he acted like he and the other guy were on a date. Due to the continued awkwardness between us, I doubt that he has forgotten about what I told him. However, I can't imagine that he is doing it just to be mean or to make me feel awkward, he is just too nice a person. I would love to think that he's doing it to make me jealous, but I don't want to get my hopes up.
He keeps looking at me. Not a long gaze, but wherever we're in sight of each other, I'll glance over at him (it's a habit at this point) and see him looking at me, and he quickly glances away. It even happens when I don't know he's in the room, and then there he is, so I am beginning to doubt that he's doing it just to see if I'm being a creeper and looking at him.
I know that I should be letting go, but there are so many unresolved questions that make it too difficult. Any ideas out there?
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Need more experienced advice...
