Hi , another Newbie here

[Gaywolf]

Welcome Gareth!

We´re almost of the same age, so I can see how you must feel. I say it´s a good compromise you´ve made with your wife. So let´s wait and see what future brings. Maybe you´ll find a guy to live with, or whatever.

Good luck!
Gaywolf

[Boysstuff]

Hello friend, welcome to the forum, kind wishes, Ben.

[Gareth125]

really nice to meet u all ( in a virtual sense) . I'm lucky in that my family have been very supportive , however my in laws are back from their holiday ( I came out when they were away) , thats going to be difficult because I am the one who is breaking their daughters heart . I don't know how they are going to react , they are from a different generation , so i guess time will tell .
It's really wierd too , cos since i came out I seem to notice every buff guy I see ( whereas before I think I tried to shut it out) . Yesterday I took the kids on the beach and couldn't help but eye up the talent ( without making it too obvious of course) , some really nice guys down there , but alas they all were with their girlfriends/wives . Anyone got any ideas where to find some really hot gay guys?

[marshlander]

... Anyone got any ideas where to find some really hot gay guys?

A hot, gay naturist beach?

[Gareth125]

I only know of one of those ( down in Dorset) . Ive heard that gay Saunas can be good places

[marshlander]

Ah, the appropriately named Studland My parents used to take us there when I was a child. I'm sure it wasn't like that in those days.

[juk]

Hey Gareth,

Wow, what a week you have had! Congratulations to you, I can only imagine how difficult it must have been to come out in your situation.

It does sound like your wife is in denial, and if you are as nice a guy as you come across on here then I can understand her not wanting to let go of you. If you are comfortable hanging in there for what could be some time then I cant see the harm in it. I would imagine that you would be able to gently withdraw to some extent so your relationship with your wife becomes a very comfortable friendship - she may then feel able to let go. I speculate and I am a hopeless optimist, however no reason why this cant happen mile:

I found that when I came out it seemed like every hot guy for 100 miles had decided to hang around wherever I went - enjoy it!

Ahhh, I really do wish you all the very best - your story has given me a warm smile and I hope that we will hear more from you as you get out there and start to form friendships.

take care
JJ

[Gareth125]

Well I met up with two guys from the local gay support group , they told me about local gay bars , the pride march next week etc etc , when i got back my wife flipped saying that she wouldnt tollerate me going out locally meeting gay friends , and basically put a 50 mile exclusion zone around the town i live in . Her fear is that everyone will find out and how this would affect her , that i am the selfish one and haven't considered her feelings . She is also worried that as we foster children, that social services would find out and consider our arrangement too unstable and take the kids away.
She says she has accepted me being Gay , but on the other hand wants me to play the straight life .
I don't get a chance to get away much without kids in toe , and i'm the main carer , so how the hell am i ever going to meet anyone? I desparetly want to meet other gay guys, I'm not ready for sex , just want to make friends and feel comfortable with who i am among like minded people. I'm basically being forced into a tiny box ( thats how i feel anyway ) . It just reinforces my reasons for coming out in the first place and that our relationship is a sham and always was . To be honest I could have sacraficed my true self if I had been happy , but for other reasons became miserable and when that happened my feelings about being gay got worse. To top todays events I had a row with my Dad , who used the famous phrase "not normal" , although he claims to have accepted my sexuality . Right now I feel so alone , its not like i can even talk to my parents about it , because they just plain don't understand.

[Genersis]

Well I met up with two guys from the local gay support group , they told me about local gay bars , the pride march next week etc etc , when i got back my wife flipped saying that she wouldnt tollerate me going out locally meeting gay friends , and basically put a 50 mile exclusion zone around the town i live in . Her fear is that everyone will find out and how this would affect her , that i am the selfish one and haven't considered her feelings . She is also worried that as we foster children, that social services would find out and consider our arrangement too unstable and take the kids away.
She says she has accepted me being Gay , but on the other hand wants me to play the straight life .
I don't get a chance to get away much without kids in toe , and i'm the main carer , so how the hell am i ever going to meet anyone? I desparetly want to meet other gay guys, I'm not ready for sex , just want to make friends and feel comfortable with who i am among like minded people. I'm basically being forced into a tiny box ( thats how i feel anyway ) . It just reinforces my reasons for coming out in the first place and that our relationship is a sham and always was . To be honest I could have sacraficed my true self if I had been happy , but for other reasons became miserable and when that happened my feelings about being gay got worse. To top todays events I had a row with my Dad , who used the famous phrase "not normal" , although he claims to have accepted my sexuality . Right now I feel so alone , its not like i can even talk to my parents about it , because they just plain don't understand.

I'm sorry to hear things arn't going so well Gareth!:frown:
A cyber hug for you!

[juk]

Gareth,

What a shit day, so sorry to hear what has been going on.

I think you have to prepare yourself for your wife to have these swings. I guess its all new to her and her mind is going to be filled with the worst case scenario in every situation. She will also undoubtedly be feeling that if people know they will think badly of her. Its not easy.

Is she willing to talk, or more to the point is she willing to listen if you talk with her.

Its early days yet and there are going to be some sticking points, just stay strong and get through them best you can....