Gay, Straight or Asexual?

[Anonymous]

I know you guys have seen this a thousand times, but my apologies for this insanely long thread on this subject. Don't think I'd get any sound advice without being descriptive.

Let me start with saying that work is my favorite part of my life nowadays thanks to these people. We laugh hysterically all day long and get to throw luggage around. Fun + workout. But this situation is driving me insane.
I started working with this guy about 8 or 9 months ago and since then I've become very good friends with him and his clique at work. They are all very pokey when it comes to homosexuality. As in poking fun at it. Incessantly. Which is where my trouble and possibly his(?) arises. If I make a move at him and he isn't on the same page, I might have just ended up outing myself in a place I don't want to be.

A few traits that might help shed some light on the subject:
Always smells good.
Always dresses good.
Always groomed as far as hair goes. Not so much on the facial hair side though.
Video game addict/nerd.
Insanely strong, we work at the airport and there's lots of places to hang from. He'll start doing pullups/grappling along edges when he's bored.
If anyone brings up sexual stuff about him he turns beet red and usually ends up leaving.

This guy is very hard to read as it seems he doesn't let ANYONE in on what he's really thinking about. Obviously what I'm going to write is geared at what I've found out and seen, so it may be me being delusional and seeing something in nothing.

A few of us smoke, him included, and we normally go out together. Whenever there are 3 or more of us the conversation just flows and we all laugh and have a good time. But when its just the two of us, its like a traffic jam. One of us will always say something that doesn't go very far and we both just get choked up. At least I feel that way. I want to say so much but it just gets muffled. I'll start to speak and a plane will fly by and choke me out and I'll just be at square one again looking for something to say. But regardless, even if it is just the two of us, he will follow me out there. Even if he didn't see me go out, he just knows that's where I'm at.

Here's where it gets interesting and I start getting delusional? One of my coworkers knows him like a brother and has told me things in secret about him. Where he'll end the conversation with "This doesn't leave this room".
1. He hasn't had sex with anyone since Freshman year. Almost 10 years ago. At least to his best friends knowledge.
2. When approached by the chick that they all gawk over, denies her constantly but has become friends with her. (Her ass is so fat it has its own gravitational pull, maybe not his type?)
3. Total nerd by day(world of warcrack addict, not unlike myself)/Tyler Durden from fight club on the weekend when he gets drunk. Wrestling around with his buddies. Heard stories about him putting one of their friends to sleep one weekend.

I find him looking in my direction a lot, but its not always the "I like you" look. Its more the "I had to look somewhere so I'm looking at you" look.

All in all, this guy shows no outward interest in women but he's very masculine. How the hell do I get anywhere with this without openly saying it? Did I just fall for a straight guy? A closeted guy? An asexual? I want closure about this but I don't want my friendship to change with my coworkers which it most certainly will if I'm outed.

Any advice at all would be nice. At least just to calm my nerves down a bit.

[Genersis]

Well, my perhaps ludicrus advice is to come out, just to him.
Maybe if he is gay he will let you know?
You also might want to make it clear that you don't want him spreading the word around.
If he is gay, then you can tell him how you feel about him(maybe not at the same time as when you tell him your gay, it is a lot to take in after all)

Good luck!:biggrin:

[matty7]

i read your description of him and its pretty much 50/50, to me i see some of those things in me but also in lots of my straight mates so thats not conclusive - sounds like hes putting off girls while having them as friends (bet we've all done that) - the other main one is when he's looking at you, it takes fractions of a second to see someone is sneeking a glance at you, which he must have picked up on u doin to him too, plus the awkward silence when u two are alone, just drop a line into a conversation with him alone like - "that guy looks fit" or something more subtle ,see what is reaction is, if its good then your in - if bad then make a joke like you were messing with him.

personaly i think your mate is a disco-dancing, Oscar Wilde-reading, Streisand ticket-holder friend of Dorothy..... hope it goes well and u get your hot man :biggrin: