coming out stories?

[Smurlos]

I presume your parents are of your partner's age of maybe even younger? You don't tell us much about who they are as people. Do they listen? Do they speak against gays? Are they very religious. It would be easier to help you if we knew a bit more about you and them...

Nail, Hammer, BANG! mile:
Yeah, provide us with a bit more background and we'll hit you up for advice. Course, in these circumstances, there is no right or wrong answer. I found it easier to tell my mum in a letter. I don't like confrontation and my mum respected that and so wrote me a letter back, explaining that she understood etc. and then we were able to talk face to face, once I knew that there would be no big confrontation.

I personally prefer to 'test the waters' first. Maybe bring up 'Oh such and such a person told me they were gay the other day' just to see what the reactions might be. If they then discuss and their attitude seems quite positive maybe you could say something like 'How would you feel if i WERE?' and put emphesis on the hypothetical 'WERE' - again, if the attitude is fairly positive then maybe you could think about coming clean. Otherwise, I'd leave it for a bit - maybe just bringing up the topic might make them begin to think more about it - maybe alarm bells will ring - if you then give them time to think about it, it might sink in and not be so much of a shock when you actually break it to them.

Just a few ideas... however crap they may be :biggrin:

[Randomteen]

Im still outing. One night i was out socially drinking with friends. i was feeling really down that night as dealing with knowing your gay and not telling anyone for 3 years builds up lots of emotions.
The next day on msn, my friend asked me what was up, he went through a list of things he thoiught it was. he finaly came to it. i had already had "yes" typed in and pressed enter before i could stop myself. thats were it started. i told some more close friends. a few more. some of them told more. now about 30 people know and the rest of the school dont KNOW but think. i dont mind.
My family on the other hand is difficult. my bro was on my msn once and my friend kinda told him i was, but he didnt know for sure. im not exactly the most masculine boy but none of my family know for sure. my friends have helped me through lots but not all have good reactions.

Advice: its much much much easier to tell a FEMALE FRIEND 1st, as they seem to understand more

[Wilem]

Advice: its much much much easier to tell a FEMALE FRIEND 1st, as they seem to understand more

In my experience they just seem extatic to be getting such a juicy piece of gossip...

[marshlander]

In my experience they just seem extatic to be getting such a juicy piece of gossip...

Oh, Wilem. Sometimes you sound like you need a great big hug

[Wilem]

Oh, Wilem. Sometimes you sound like you need a great big hug

Ur damn right I do

wooot

[zeon]

Hi All,
I dont think ive ever posted my coming out experience on gayspeak as the banner says to tell it to help others so heres mine..

It was an autumn afternoon and i was 17.. Id gone out walking the dogs with my step dad and that day i said "Phil I got something to say which i know may come as a shock but i gotta get it out my system" He asked what was wrong and i told him that I was gay.. I told him that my brother had been using the term RENT BOY in the family game of monopoly because he was putting pressure on me to confess before he told you.. After a small chat he said "would you mind if i told your mother?" I said No not at all..
So that night he went and told mum and she called me in and told me that he had told her and all she said is.. You sure?? I said yeah ive felt this way for a while now and unless i get it out ill feel like a prisoner forever or until i get it off my chest.. She then asked if she could tell my aunty.. I said ok so she called my aunty who told my cousins who told my nan who told my granddad who told my brother who already knew and passed on the message to my uncles who told their kids so by the next morning the whole family knew.. I then proceeded to telling the people within my neighbourhood. I felt really good as 99% of people accepted me.. My brother and my nan didnt and i fell out with them both which turned nasty and had me wish my nan dropped dead of cancer but we have since rebuilt our bridges..
My brother has become more acceptable of it and respects me despite his ADHD and being a twat which is nothing uncommon with his comments but i have learnt since getting older that he doesnt mean it.. He however did tell me that if he had a child who was gay he would kick him out and i would be looking after him.. I didnt mind this id happily be a guardian to a nephew who was gay.. Nowadays my mother tells everyone who knows her that her son is gay and how proud of me she is.. People dont dare start giving me crap about it or else the dragon gets em :-) As for my dad telling him wasnt hard at all as i didnt care about his opinion i just wanted to try to piss him off and succeeded :-)

[SElondon87]

Advice: its much much much easier to tell a FEMALE FRIEND 1st, as they seem to understand more

Completely. I put a post up on here a while back about being unsure of what to do, I told a female friend first, she understood and had someone to talk about how I felt (as opposed to years of just bottling it up) Now the majority of my guy mates know.

I have had a few drinks everytime i've told someone though... so that may help too

[fredv3b]

Advice: its much much much easier to tell a FEMALE FRIEND 1st, as they seem to understand more

In my experience they just seem extatic to be getting such a juicy piece of gossip...

Completely. I put a post up on here a while back about being unsure of what to do, I told a female friend first, she understood and had someone to talk about how I felt (as opposed to years of just bottling it up)

In all honesty I am not sure that girls do understand better, its just that they don't expect to. Straight guys seem to expect to understand, then don't which they find weird, so it must be us who are weird.

[marshlander]

In all honesty I am not sure that girls do understand better, its just that they don't expect to. Straight guys seem to expect to understand, then don't which they find weird, so it must be us who are weird.

I'd rather deal with most men's incomprehension than a woman's. Boiling bunnies is just the beginning of a stunning repertoire of possible responses in my experience :eek:

[fjp999]

Boiling bunnies is just the beginning of a stunning repertoire of possible responses in my experience :eek:

Not sure what that means but gives me an excuse for one of these