Need advice loosing a friend

[Anonymous]

I have a friend who I am very concerned about. 1st off they have started seeing a therapist who is encouraging them to dump all of their friends because they have "too many problems" they are also encouraging them to hang around people that make them feel energetic, in his mind this means people who are much younger than him. It goes further because they have convinced him that all of his friends overstep their bounds in caring, and that it is ok to push me and others away with no guilt because it is up to us how we feel. I agree that no one is responsible for how another person feels, but that is no excuse to mistreat others.

For a while I have suspected this friend is embarrassed to be seen with me, but now it has just gotten weird last week they announced that they could not talk on the phone with me or other friends as much as they used to and have constantly described me and other people in his life as "broken." My life is not perfect, and I know this, but I am there for them at 3am when no one else is, and it hurts because I feel used but also like I am being thrown away like garbage. I have tried talking to them but I am told that I am unstable and they get defensive if I show any sign of being angry or hurt by any of this.

Any advice would be helpful.

[sadandalone]

forgot to add that this person is in their 40s and seem to think one of the reasons his current friends are not good enough is because they are all 30s and 40s and act old! When I try to talk to them about all of it they act as if they are my therapist and simply miss everything I say. I really am at the end of my rope with this person, and I don't want to lose a friend simply because they are acting foolish.

[fenris]

For me that is not enough information. How long do you know your friend? How he behaved before? how he got to know these people? ... What kind of friendship is it? Why can these people the act for him ? Do you have other friends in common?
Whats your age ?

[juk]

Maybe, just maybe, the therapist is right? Not saying that to be contrary, just throwing it out as an option.

The thing is friends sometimes move on. Sometimes the 'thing' that drives them is positive, sometimes it is negative and sometimes misguided (as it would seem apparent in this case). Thing is, if they decide to move on you cant do much about it other than let them know you are there for them. If this friend will not listen to you, maybe write a letter. Think carefully about what you say in the letter before writing it, I dont think it would be a good idea to send a letter pleading for the friendship to continue.

[scottymorg]

i once lost a friend too
he is extremely great!!!
and I lost him cuz once I made a mistake that made him go crazy
and yeah I completely destroyed his fun time in the extreme way
I've spent about 3 months on being so upset to do so..

anyway, ur life must move on

u'll be fine soon, believe me

[matty7]

i agree with Josh - if you try to force your friend to do anything they dont want to then that would push them further away - writting a letter like josh says is a good way to express your feelings, that would also avoid a confrontation where things would get emotional and get u both nowhere, i woudlnt put negetive things in about the path he's chosen for now ie the therapist, even though you may think their giving bad advice to your m8, give him time and he may well get back to been friends or he could move on - sadly these things happen