The family problem!

[Mikebmth]

I am a bisexual but out guy who is in a loving relationship with a very convincing Tv on hormones.

Problem being my mother who knows im bisexual as does my brother etc isnt aware that my partner is a Tv / Ts and believes her to be a f/t woman, I know this is my fault but I am mad about my partner and need things to be open.

My mother is also a devout christian and doesnt really like the whole my son is gay thing.

The problem is my family keep going on about meeting "Michelle" especially with Xmas coming up, its proving to be very difficult and to be honest I didnt expect to be where I have ended up. Hopelessy in love with my partner as we met at friends and nothing more but we have been together for 18 months now and considering living together.

I just dont know how im gonna tell my family that Michelle is not a woman but is a Trans male, they met my ex who was a f/t pre-op transexual and they were'nt keen on her even though she was basically a woman to the eye.

HELP!! please..Know its a bit different but sure someone or some of you have suffered similar issues and can help me out.

I dont care what my so called friends think but my family is quite close and dont wanna upset the apple cart as such.

And the option to not tell them isnt gonna work.....Its crunch time...:confused:

[Genersis]

I'm affraid i have little expireence in such matters. But by the looks of it, either way you try and get through this, its not going to be easy.

Try and tell your parents to be a bit more open. Your partner is a person, and deserves to be treated as such. If they MUST judge, it should be on the grounds of personality and kindness and the like. NOT based on the fact that(as they might think of it) hes a guy pretending to be a woman.

Sorry if this isn't much help.

I wish you the best, Good luck.

[fenris]

I have not enough experiences in such matters, too. I know maybe 2 from very far away... without talking about anything ..

What I can say is .... don´t wait till christmas or a day like this to explain the situation....try to have some weeks distance between talk to your parents and a celebration day .. I´m sure it sounds stupid.... but to tell this facts as a "gift" on a celebration day and you are really in trouble and in would not work.
Use a nice sunday afternoon.... and visit your parents as first alone.....they need time to think about the facts .... and the problem is much bigger if your parents are in a situation, maybe can´t hide their thoughts and show their feelings to your gf.

[Mikebmth]

Thanks guys, kinda as I have always belived. It will be difficult, it was tricky telling my Mum especially that im bisexual and love having sex with other guys...lol

Her answer then was "You think I dont know already" which shocked the s**t out of me..lol

I somehow think she know Michelle is Trans as she spoke to my mum last Xmas on the phone and my mum commented on her voice being slightly deeper than you average woman, guess that could have been a good chance to confess my sins...lol...The main problem then though was my stepfather who is now gone as my mum devorced the useless f**ker, he was also very homophobic so was always difficult for me.

[Student]

I think you should just try and explain to her that, you understand that it's going to be hard for her to take what you have to say and you don't want to make her feel uncomfortable, but you need to do this to feel good about your relationship and just yourself in general. Then say about how your partner means a great deal to you and you hope that she will understand that and that whilst she has every right to an opinion, you would like her to respect your relationship because you can't help who you fall in love with. I would then say that you love your mum a great deal too and you're sorry if it's causing her any upset because you never set out to do that, but you've got to follow your heart and this is where its led you.

[marshlander]

When you have that talk, would it help to have a photograph of the pair of you so you could let your mum ask the questions or lead the conversation without you having to go through the whole this is my TS partner thing?

[peterinmalaga]

Hi Mike, You reminded me why I don't do Christmas any more! ! Obviously you need to sort this out if possible regardless of Xmas. I think what Student said is good. Tell your Mum that she and Michelle are the 2 most important people in your life and you love them both loads and hope they will both get on well. If Christians can't be nice to people at Christmas, there's not much hope for them, is there, neither in this life nor the next? I think your Mum will be OK especially now the hateful stepfather has gone. I'd do the deed soon, so you and Michelle can make alternate Xmas plans if it all goes wrong - but I doubt if it will.

[Mikebmth]

Cool, thanx for all the advice guys..Its my birthday at the start of October so think I may wait til thats happened as well as my brothers birthday is 6 weeks after so hopefully waters will have settled if things go tits up as such.

Watch this space

[Rychard the Lionheart]

Mike.

What are your plans for the future. Does your partner want to stay a TV or go for the full op and become a women, if going for the op your family may accept her as a women in time. But would you two stay together if you become a standard couple? (did not want to use the word normal)

Good luck and I hope it works out for you m8.

[Mikebmth]

Hey Lionheart,

Good question mate.. My partner is more than happy where she is (pre-op) tits and cock and although she is convincing she doesnt seem to think so and is having some mental health issues currently regarding her gender. And to follow up I would stay with her if she wanted full Srs surgery as I love her.

I know of a couple of Transgender m2f Ts who have been hurt badly by men who leave them just because the cock has gone, its not whats inbetween their legs but who they are thats why you should love anyone male, female, straight, gay or whatever..Thats life..

She intends to not have the full op though and what bothers me most is I dated a pre-op Ts for 2 years before Michelle came along and my previous partner met my family who were shocked and tried being pleasant but you could feel we were not welcome.

My mum is very open minded but since going back to the Christian church a few years back she has become a bigott which is not good for me or my partner.

Its gonna be really really difficult and I sometimes question my relationship myself which doesnt help but I know my partner cant help our arguments etc from time to time, just like a woman cant control their periods...lol