just broke up with someone i love...

[GayJ1993]

I just broke up with someone i love because he wants an open relationship now that he is in college. but i dont wanna share him with anyone i love him way to much. was i wrong????? can anyone help me bounce back im soooo confused

[fenris]

hm ... I think you just say not enough about the reasons .. about you both .. so it is really impossible to say something about that and was it right or not. If you want ... tell us .. or me... more about ....

[SlipknotRlZZ]

Well, dear, you know..things happen like this. It's not that you were wrong or he was wrong. I think it was the right decision to break up with him if you wouldn't want to share him, but he'd like to be shared. It will be hard to go through this, but we're all here fpr you. Want to have adrink?

[juk]

If you dont want an open relationship then there is nothing wrong with asserting your wishes - even if that means you have to take the difficult decision to get out of that relationship. Sure it feels crap to end a relationship but from the little you have said it does seem the right choice for you - and I congratulate you on making what must be a difficult and heartbreaking decision.

As for bouncing back - that will happen in time :-)

[JtheYoungBear]

Been there, done that. I just recently got out of what was the beginning of an open relationship. I just could not take wanting to have sex with someone else while having a partner, and I did not want to share my partner out either. But at the same time, it was a ploy from my partner to get with someone else, I believe.

Oh well... moving onto greener pastures. You will get through this, it takes time because you know you loved him. But trust me when I say that you will see better days.

[marshlander]

Sorry to hear that you are having a tough time. No one is saying you have to stay in a relationship if you are pulling in different directions. Maybe best to end it while you are young enough to bounce back without breaking anything

Letting him go was the only option under these circumstances. To try and force him into a monogamous relationship he didn't want would only make him cheat and, if not that, he would eventually become resentful. You love someone and you've set him free. Sounds noble enough to me.

Best wishes.

[eastofeden]

I think it is great he was honest with you...years ago people who wanted this would just do it and not tell you about it...alot of people probably still behave that way today (usually the ones who preach monogamy loud and often:biggrin

If you cannot handle it ..best to let him go and move on. There is nothing wrong with not being able to handle it...we are all different. It might hurt for awhile but it will pass.

[JtheYoungBear]

I think it is great he was honest with you...years ago people who wanted this would just do it and not tell you about it...alot of people probably still behave that way today (usually the ones who preach monogamy loud and often:biggrin

If you cannot handle it ..best to let him go and move on. There is nothing wrong with not being able to handle it...we are all different. It might hurt for awhile but it will pass.

Well, actually... there is nothing wrong with monogamy, and I swear by it. Once I am committed, I don't dare do anything behind my partner's back, ever. And I expect the same, otherwise I'm gone.

[eastofeden]

Well, actually... there is nothing wrong with monogamy, and I swear by it. Once I am committed, I don't dare do anything behind my partner's back, ever. And I expect the same, otherwise I'm gone.

I didn't say there is anything wrong with monogamy...I have been monogamous for almost 25 years and am very happy...(I have never promised anyone I would be faithful though...I beleive in keeping my promises and you never know SO I promise to be honest about any indiscrection instead...that is a promise I know I can keep)

I think people who preach the loudest about what other people "should" do are suspect in general and maybe a tad controlling...notice I said "preach"...NOT the same as giving advice...I can tell you that almost without fail the people who lamented all the time that their lovers were cheating were cheating themselves or thought about it all the time and projected their thoughts on to their partners assuming they did the same...the people who preach about morality are usually immoral as hell...the people who preach about the evils of being gay have homosexual tendencies or are gay themselves...that is the spirit of the remark I made.

[JtheYoungBear]

I didn't say there is anything wrong with monogamy...I have been monogamous for almost 25 years and am very happy...(I have never promised anyone I would be faithful though...I beleive in keeping my promises and you never know SO I promise to be honest about any indiscrection instead...that is a promise I know I can keep)

I think people who preach the loudest about what other people "should" do are suspect in general and maybe a tad controlling...notice I said "preach"...NOT the same as giving advice...I can tell you that almost without fail the people who lamented all the time that their lovers were cheating were cheating themselves or thought about it all the time and projected their thoughts on to their partners assuming they did the same...the people who preach about morality are usually immoral as hell...the people who preach about the evils of being gay have homosexual tendencies or are gay themselves...that is the spirit of the remark I made.

Fair enough.

I don't go around preaching monogamy though. I'm a strong believer in it, yes, but however other people dictate their relationships is entirely up to them. I would just rather worry about myself.

However, that doesn't mean I'm not entitled to my own opinions regarding open relationships... I just do not think they work, and furthermore, rather illogical. I mean, why would you want to sleep with other people when you are in a relationship? Not to sound narrow-minded, but I just find the concept to do nothing more than breed drama, or even perpetuate it.

As for what you talk about promises, again, to each their own. I would promise to remain faithful though, and that is because it is my choice.

Not to attack you directly, but just something caught my eye with your original statement.