Small penis - Low self esteem

[fredv3b]

I thought I might add my tuppence worth .....

My advice is that you basically need to accept that the size of your manhood is what it is and you can't change it. Try and work on what you can change i.e. technique. Do a bit of reading around, find out what your man does and does not like. Take pride in pleasuring him, enjoy it when you make him groan with pleasure. Just because other guys are better endowed than you doesn't mean that they are better in bed than you, better porn stars probably (their partners are being paid to groan), but not better real-life lovers.

Also, don't forget there is more to life and being boyfriends than sex.

[ridin_solo88]

Thank you so much guys for all the support. I am still working on it. Till now find it hard to maintain an erection with him. He obviously senses that something is wrong, but i guess he assumes that I am just not as sexual as him. But truth is, im more sexual than him. Much more in fact.

[ridin_solo88]

I do want to tell him....but my ego is stopping me. Its very embarrassing for me to accept even to myself that i hate my own size. He has nothing to worry about. He is hung, he gets along from sex. I guess im destined to be date my hand for the rest of my life

[Butterednuts]

13cm is totally fine. Don't worry about it much.

[eastofeden]

I think it is really cool that you are open and honest about your insecurity so I have to say to you...you cannot change this aspect of your physical being and there will always be people who prefer large cocks and that is something else you have no control over...and you have to accept both of these things

BUT...this is not everyone nor is it the majority of people who desire large penises above everything else. If you are watching porn you are going to get a skewed view of everything. I used to joke with this porno star I worked with and asked him how they could find so many people who looked exactly alike:biggrin:...to me they alot look like a bunch of cows because when I look at a field of cows they pretty much all look the same to me and I cannot distinguish between them individually. Most porn is a big yawn for me.


...and my advice to you...if you feel insecure pick something that you CAN change or develop and decide that is what you are going to do. Personality is one idea...maybe try bodybuilding or running or something physical. mental or emotional that would make you feel as though you have an edge.....I can tell you from talking to tons of gay guys every night who were seeking a mate that CONFIDENCE is really sexy to alot of men...and that is just one thing...there are so many others that have nothing to do with penis size...

If you decide to overcome this insecurity you can do it...give yourself a chance.

[juk]

Thank you so much guys for all the support. I am still working on it. Till now find it hard to maintain an erection with him. He obviously senses that something is wrong, but i guess he assumes that I am just not as sexual as him. But truth is, im more sexual than him. Much more in fact.

He is still keen and still there with you....he obviously doesnt care about your size and doesnt care that you are finding it difficult to stay hard - this guy likes you

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Medically there are not too many options. You can try a pump, however there are risks and you only get a temporary 'girth' improvement, excessive use of a pump will damage the internals of the penis over time resulting in an inability to get fully hard. It doesn't actually change the size, it will however, over time, stretch the penis a little. maybe up to a cm of length over the course of several years.

There are products on the market that are said to add size, however it is my understanding that they do not really work. Maybe one of those new products do, do something.

A plastic surgeon can go in and cut the muscles on either side of the penis allowing more of the 2 inches (about 5 cm) inside to be slowly 'pulled out' on top of the initial surgery there is a period of weight wearing. The procedure is called Phalloplasty

Measured size and relative size are two different things. Trimming ones pubes, even shaving can make one look like they have more. Losing weight can also appear to 'extend' the penis.

While it is easy for us to say 'just live with it dude' the reality is that you most likely are going to cause a breakup subconsciously over aware of your endowments.

Extra large endowment can be a negative, and many men who have "more than average" are as embarrassed as you and often feel 'used just for my dick' than actually loved.

This is an issue that you really need to discuss with your partner. Most likely he has issues of his own and your fear he will be stolen because he is extra hung may actually resonate with him because he may feel he is only a 'dick' and not a person.

Seriously, if he has had sex with you more than once, your penis size is most likely NOT a problem with him. Few men will continue with a person sexually if they have issues with penis size, and extra long second toe, webbed toes, hair on the back, etc. Sad to say many are 'that shallow'.

[juk]

A plastic surgeon can go in and cut the muscles on either side of the penis allowing more of the 2 inches (about 5 cm) inside to be slowly 'pulled out' on top of the initial surgery there is a period of weight wearing. The procedure is called Phalloplasty

While it is easy for us to say 'just live with it dude' the reality is that you most likely are going to cause a breakup subconsciously over aware of your endowments.

I need to just clarify something here, the penis is not made of muscle. I clarify because there have long been misconceptions that it is leading some to thinking they can increase the size in the same way you would build your pecs for example.

Surgical options are fairly brutal and can often bring only small results, with risks attached. One such risk is erectile problems which would be a real bitch! From what I understand of it, the pain doesnt seem worth it for such a small gain.

There is an option to have the suspensory ligament cut. This *may* result in a slight size increase, however it will mean your erect penis points downwards. Results will vary per person.

I wouldn't suggest that you just 'live with it', its more a case of learning to deal with it. It is possible to get to a stage where you find its no longer a problem.

[princealbertofb]

I started watching porn at a very young age. All porn actors have big dicks. But then even when i went to the pool for a swim as a teen the guys in the changing rooms all have huge dicks. I thought i would grow into it but for some reason i havent. I am apparently normal, but from the guys i have been dating in the past, that doesnt seem normal.

My whole life, the thing that i masturbate to is a guy with a huge penis. Somehow, putting myself down like that made me hard and cum. Is that really sad? And now, its like there are 2 sides that are conflicting. I want to feel inadequate, yet i want to know that i am adequate to meet his needs.
I am a big guy. I am tall and big boned (no pun intended) and mayb my penis seems smaller in proportion to my body. Any1 who looks at us would think that i have the bigger penis because of my stature. But who would know that he is twice bigger than me?

I don't know how to even begin sorting this issue out. After years and years, how do undo the very thing that makes me this horny yet makes me feel so low that a person shouldnt be allowed to feel that way?

Maybe you ought to see a counsellor about this, or a psychologist. It might help you to see where all these issues come from. I get the impression that your issues about penis size are in fact issues about self worth that are more deep rooted. The penis size, while it seems you would have a normal-ish penis, is only the tip of the iceberg.

So either you can confide in your new boyfriend to understand some of your hangups or you need to see a professional, someone who won't have a vested interest. I'm guessing your boyfriend is with you for a purpose and that he'd have lost interest if there wasn't anything in the relationship.

Have you even considered talking to your GP about this erection problem, which could be psychological or something that could be put right through other methods? Remember that smoking (I don't know if you smoke) can make it more difficult to get a hard erection because smoking restricts the blood vessels, for one thing. Many other things could be at play here on the physical level too. See if your doctor can help you sort them out.

[PaulAngelo]

Great post everyone. Would you believe that some guys prefer to have the larger dick and it gives them a sense of being the "man" even thought they might not be. So when you think about it - if you had a large dick he probably wouldn't be with you. This is also the possibility.

The media and porno industry make big dicks sound as the most important thing, and as a result many guys are lonely and in a perpetual dating situation because they fail to understand the bigger picture here.

All of you in this forum seem to understand it - great posts everyone!