Lost, and Confused

[DRW]

Happiness matters the most in life. If you're successful and unhappy, are you really on top? Living a false life isn't fair to you, your boyfriend, or anyone else for that matter. Be yourself because those who matter don't mind. And those who mind don't matter.

Thanks a lot man. That makes a lot on sense. I just can't muster up the courage to do it. I know the relationship between my boss and I would change. I'm too valuable for him to fire me, but I think he would feel betrayed, and I really don't want him to think that I want him. Granted, he is quite the looker, and the thought has crossed my mind. But that was before I met my fiance. I want to come out so bad, but I'm nervous about the overall after affects. But you are right. I will never be exactly where I want to be until I stop living this lie.

You guys are great! I think I will definitely stick around!

[DRW]

You might want to consider that most extrremely homophobic people are gay or bi and can't accept themselves or their feelings and they externalize their hatred toward themselves to people who do accept themselves. I have found over and over in my life that TRULY straight men dont' have a problem with gay men and often are the most eager to accept a gay person at face value. I have long ago come to the conclusion that Homophobic=Closet Case.

The thing is...you might have a different set of problems on your hand if you come out to your boss with the atitude he has..spurning the advances of a homophobe who has gay/bi tendencies (and they almost always do) can have disastrous results...Glee (TV Show) has done an excellent job the past few weeks giving an example of exactly what I am referring to.

BTW..Welcomemile:

I couldn't agree more! My personal theory is that 90% of homophobes are definitely closet-cases! Hell, I used to be one of them, and I know plenty others who are as well!

[fredv3b]

I have found over and over in my life that TRULY straight men dont' have a problem with gay men and often are the most eager to accept a gay person at face value.

And are more than happy to enjoy reduced competition for the opposite sex.

[marshlander]

I understand the pressures, but there are different ways of coming out. It doesn't have to be in the form of a huge and specific announcement. I assume you have thought about just getting on with your everyday life? Just don't avoid references to your partner if it becomes relevant to your discussion. I rarely do anything than carry on with a normal conversation and let the listener join the dots. It doesn't require much imagination from them, avoids everything being a big deal and is surprisingly normal.

I am surprised that coming out in a place like New York is such a big deal :confused: