Open relationships are not my thing nor his. It was talked about before between us. A couple of my friends just basically said take it as it comes. Yes it builds a lot of sexual frustration but that's what sex for one is for (use your imagination). And I'm a bit of the jealous type I wouldn't be able to keep the relationship knowing he is sleeping with other guys. It wouldnt end well I can tell you that. I really am at a lost here. I love him to death and I think your right. Our sex drives are like day and night. Sighs I guess relationships do come with compromises.
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I still think it is worth talking to him about it, how he feels about your sex-life, etc. I know you've tried already, and he hasn't really said anything.
My suggestion is that you tell him you want to talk about your sex-life, how he feels about it, etc. Tell him you don't want to talk about it there and then ask him to take, say, a week to think carefully about he feels. Get him to choose and put aside, say, an hour for you two to talk about your sex-life. The point of all that is to create a situation where he has to talk about how he feels and properly listen to how you feel.
I'm not going to go into details, for my partner's sake, but a year ago we struck a really rough patch in the bedroom. I stuck with him and helped him through it, and let's just say we are both enjoying the results of my perseverance.
Fred
Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.
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I'd ask. I'm nosy like that. Me and my partner slowed down over the years. lol So you need to make sure it's someone you really love. After he had his surgery (lung cancer), I don't think we had sex for over a year. But when you really love someone you do what you do. Sex is great, I still love it, but it shouldn't be the focal point of a relationship.
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Don't get me wrong all. Sex is not everything in a relationship. I learned that the hard way in a previous encounter. However I have come to the conclusion it is an important element to me. Granted thats probably due to my age and my current out of control sex drive. I guess I will have to try and talk to him. Thanks for the advice about setting up a talk later and let him think about it. I was thinking of setting up a date later on in the week. I came up with the idea to maybe start setting up a date night. Maybe try and get some much needed us time and enjoy it together with no distractions or what not. I will keep you all posted. Thanks for all your help!! I really appreciate it.
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Good luck Untraceable, hope you find yourself a better sex life soon... Hopefully your man will indulge you.
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Yes Untraceable, this situation has lasted long enough, as far as you are concerned... It needs some kind of closure.
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I will keep you all posted .... As I live and die by " hope for the best but prepare for the worst"
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Without wanting to make you paranoid, it nevertheless seems like something else might be going on here. Yes, sex drives vary between two partners and fluctuate over time. The best way to keep on the same page about this is through communication. But if your attempts to discuss the situation have erupted in a fight, well, that raises a red flag. I can tell you that I was in a similar situation in a former relationship. I too found it odd that a then 20-something year old should loose interest in sex. Low and behold, the guy was spending a significant amount of time with his web cam and his virtual exploits ultimately took a toll on our sex life. Try talking to your bf again. If he continues to grow defensive or combative during the conversation, you should read the signs and trust your instincts. Good luck.
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I will take it into consideration and yes trust me my guard is still up.
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Long relationship but lacking sex...HELP!
