Personality vs. Appearance

[trains]

In a lot of cases it seems like you are left to choose one of the two. I know that, ideally, you could find someone with both. But for me it's a bit of a weird situation.
Older guys are the best, appearance-wise. But then, there's always the generation gap. "What's a Harry Potter? What's the internet?" kind of thing. (Actually, this whole "I hate computers" thing that a lot of older people seem to be going through is my BIGGEST deal. My computer is half my life, I spend a great deal of time on it, as an ex-WoW addict, and that I'm taking my bachelor of computing science in University, it's kind of a pretty big deal for me.)
It's not a maturity thing or anything, just that it rules out so many common interests or moments.
Then, I find younger men much easier to connect with, and in general have much more in common. On the flip side, I could count the number I've been even slightly attracted to with a few fingers.

I'm not trying to generalize all men into these groups, but I mean as far as majorities go, that's usually how it goes. Sometimes when I sit down and think about it I feel like I have to choose one or the other. Do I suck it up and be physically repulsed by someone who I really enjoy being around, or try to be with someone with that generation gap right smack in between us?
It's such a silly dilemma. And I know, there are exceptions out there, it just sucks that they are rare. As if sane, cute, single, gay guys weren't rare enough.

[East]

I dont' really think of it as personality vs appearance but I definitely think you have a point on the age thing. I have had a rule...10 years either way...and I stick to it with no problem because of shared life experiences,,very important to me.

When I was 19 it wasnt' computers..I wondered why so many older men were compelled to wear tacky hairpieces, gold chains and have fake tans:biggrin: though I must admit I loved the Tom Jones style tight polyester pants because they showed everything...I am glad THAT trend went away before I came of age myself because I made up my mind to resist it when i was young.

Just a side note on computers and young sane cute guys...the computer may have robbed you of the chance to meet some of them..in the end...after all. I see alot of people who grew up with the computer basically living their lives through the screen...replacing actual human interaction with virtual interaction...not sure how healthy that is and I know when I think about it I feel fortunate to have missed having computers when I was young because I got to experience my life fully and I am grateful for that...very much so. I loved participating in my own life.

[marshlander]

Yes, what a shame. You computer guys will never get to make a soapbox cart or dam a stream for real

[invis85]

Is it a gay thing? Being 19 (young) and wanting someone older to look up to and take care of you? I remember being like that when I was 19. Though anyone graduated college considered "old" to me back then......lol

[James]

Many of us "older guys" chose to only post when there is a dilemma which our experiance and life force require an answer

[trains]

Is it a gay thing? Being 19 (young) and wanting someone older to look up to and take care of you? I remember being like that when I was 19. Though anyone graduated college considered "old" to me back then......lol

I know there are lots of guys like that, but I hate that stereotype. It seems like such an immature ideal, and that is definetely not what I want from a relationship. I can't say for sure whether it's a gay thing? I mean, I'm gay, but I am not also straight. So I don't have all the facts. It's just what I'm attracted to, I can't help it, but it does sometimes feel wrong to me. I think that my age is a problem and that older guys will not want to date someone so young.

[TuxSky]

I always wondered about that, with younger guys wanting older guys. It makes me think back to that ''Daddy complex'' theory of homosexuality that I heard once.

Anyways, for me it's 5 years either way. I'd make an exception if the person is simply amazing though.

I'm kinda weird when it comes to looks and personality I guess. An attractive guy would make me interested at one glance but someone with a nice personality would become attractive to me the longer I spend time with them. That's why I was kinda confused when one friend asked me why I always fall for such ''Meh'' guys, cause to me, they're gorgeous.

And usually, it's the guy with the nice personality that keeps me interested.

[marshlander]

... And usually, it's the guy with the nice personality that keeps me interested.

Quite right. Why would you throw away the gift and keep the wrapping paper?