XRIMO Wrote:I think I've started to shift my thinking away from the concept that it is necessary to be in a relationship to be happy. I've been on my own my whole life and I think that I've become conditioned to just be happy alone. While I think of relationships, I have realized that I'm way to anxious about it to ever be in one. The second I feel someone is beginning to like me, I become very put off and want to just be alone again. I don't think its wrong, its the way I have developed.
Who knows, perhaps I will be proven to be wrong. But here's to being solitary and enjoying it. 
Dear friend,
mile:
As you probably know from reading my many posts, you'll remember that I was a
relationship recluse for 18 years before I started dating Marshlander. I too felt happy enough living on my own. I knew it was better to be single than badly paired off with someone I didn't want to be with. Choosy? Not really, just a lack of proper opportunities, and a deep desire for privacy. I did, however, try the relationship thing for 4 years before that period. So I also knew that a relationship wasn't out of my reach or capacity.
That being said, I know what you're saying and I know how it can feel. I think it's great that you can be happy living on your own and not needing a relationship to fulfill your life. Some people don't know how to deal with life without a relationship, even if it's a bad one. Others learn to cope and be happy being themselves and enjoying their own company. It could be that that is just the way you are and think at the moment. You have conditioned yourself to like your company more than anyone else's... and that's surely the best you can do at present.
However, I also think that you have come a long way since we met on here, and that the new
you, who is open and out, may find it easier to deal with a relationship, again, when that card comes into your hands. It is likely that you will find that relationship when you are least looking for it. That's what happened to me. So, although you may think that you're better off single, just keep that glimmer of hope and curiosity alight, so that, if need be, you can spark your way into a relationship (for what it's worth). I think, as you are a Taurus, things need to grow on you, and they take time to feel comfortable, but you are not incapable of being a wonderful lover, some day. Bear it in mind. It seems to me that life, in some places, doesn't offer that many opportunities for a relationship that will be lasting and endearing, so maybe that's where you are now. But don't be surprised if one day, we all turn up to your wedding
.
In the mean time, I hope you will find ways of being happy with yourself, being your own man and not missing the camaraderie, the intimacy, the joys (and woes) of living and sharing your life with another human being. (it's hard enough having to live with neighbours and friends, lol...) We are fed these dreams of being a "family" by society so much that society itself forgets all the lonely or the singles. But I believe society also needs singles, who can often handle what family people can't because they are too busy raising kids and trying to rest up from it. Sometimes, we can take the pressure off the family people just by offering to keep the kids for a few hours, or by babysitting, or even just giving the kids a lesson, or taking them to a movie or play a game with them. I don't know if the family people are grateful to us for that, but they certainly would find it harder without us.
To sum up, good luck with your life and maybe ... one day ... you'll find the other shoe, that rare fit... which makes walking in pairs comfortable.
mile:
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