Gay friend turned straight?? Help please!

[Anonymous]

First of all, I am a (mostly) straight female in a long term straight relationship. I don't know how important that is to my dilemma, but it is what it is.

My problem. I have been friends with this guy for almost a year now. He is my co worker, and I'd say one of my best friends from work. For the entire time I've known him he has told me he is gay, and very gay at that. I haven't had much of a reason to doubt this, and of course I had no problem with this. Until recently, I trusted he has been telling me the truth. However, a few days ago he randomly started dating a girl at work. He changed his facebook "Interested In" section to women, and he seems really into this straight relationship. I'm not saying he did anything wrong, and I don't feel like he ever had ulterior motive in our friendship or anything crazy like that. I'm just confused on how to handle the situation. He hasn't even mentioned his straight relationship to me, or said anything about no longer feeling he is gay. Of course that's not something I really expected him to do, but then again, I didn't expect him to suddenly decide he was straight.

I guess my question is, what should I do? Should I just ignore this and pretend its normal? Should I approach him about it? If so, what should I ask? I feel like "I thought you were gay" is kind of mean sounding. I feel uncomfortable with this situation. I still want to be his friend, nothing has changed there. Its just confusing to me. And I feel like in a way I don't really know who he is anymore. I feel like a terrible friend, I just want to do the right thing.

[marshlander]

If you want to be his friend, be his friend. It's okay to be confused and you can tell him you are confused. Talk, listen and I'm sure you can do that without condemning him. Besides, he may be just as confused as you are! Many people believe there is a certain fluidity in sexuality and perhaps more of us than are prepared to admit it fall somewhere in the bisexual part of the spectrum if we meet the right person.

I married and lived with my wife for decades. I thought sex was a con trick, but the bits still worked. It wasn't until I met a special man that I realised something fairly substantial had been missing up to that point. If it can happen to me I doubt I'm unique or that the reasoning couldn't work the other way about ... These days it suits me to identify myself as gay.

Back to your friend. Celebrate his good fortune with him and be there if it just so happens down the line that there are pieces to be picked up. That sounds like the kind of thing a friend would do.

[alfvel]

Hello, maybe he wants to give straight love a try, and if can do it, great. I wonder if his girlfriend knows he used to identify himself as gay, and let's hope he is not sleeping with guys behind her back.