Am i Lesbian or bi ??
01-23-2011, 03:42 AM
Hello, Im new to this forum ..
I don't know really where to begin because i have so much to say and have questions for, but i think i will begin in my early child hood. Growing up i was a TOM-BOY , i wore the baggy jeans, t-shirts and hung out with the boys at school. i hated the girl drama and i wanted to play the games with the boys like wall ball, basketball, tag..etc all the girls did was walk around talking about who they were dating, and so on. i was dating a boy at the time( we dated for 4 years, no sex or any thing,) to this day i love very much and hold great in my heart. I loved the way he treated me , stuck by my side and i stuck by his, he was everything to me. We broke up but i still loved him and i hurt him and my self...long story and no i never cheated on him nor did he cheat on me. A year later i met a girl that i hated a first. we would go at it everyday and start fight with each other everyday in class. But everyday when i was going to that class i would get really nervous and get red. I just told my self i hated her and it was nothing. We became friends 3 month later just out of no where and we are Best friends to this day. I will call her Liz to hind her real name. A year before that sorry im going backwards , i forgot about this, an other TOM-BOY was in my school, I was intimidated by her a lot again just wanted to fight her hahah, I wanted to be th toughest girl in the school .Growing up with 3 brother and no sisters and being a TOM-BOY was fun but sometimes it was difficult because my brother called me a Lesbian a lot and ask me many times if I was. I never wanted to think I was a Lesbian because I always thought I was going to get make fun of and gross, like my brother who already did call me a lesbian or thought I was, plus I grew up in a Catholic family but I don't think that matters. In high school my best friend Liz went to a Catholic school, Sacred Heart and the big stereotype is that everyone there are lesbians. For her sweet 16th b-day she had a big party and on the way back in the car she was to making out with one of her friends( female) right in front of me. I got really jealous and mad. I didn't do or say anything. A couple days later I called her and was going to tell her that I was jealous of what she did and I think that I'm in love with her but I couldn't say it. Then after that I changed my mind and just thought it was a thing I was going through. At the time I was trying to get back with my ex boy friend . 2 years later Liz had sex with a girl, which I knew all along she was a Lesbian but her family didn't like it and when they found out she was in a lot of trouble. I was there for her and she talked to me about it , and I except people for who they are no matter what. There were two girls in high school during sports that made me feel “weird†I guess. The first girl was during ice hockey season, and we always competed with each other on the ice. My family and her family didn't like each other because of something that happened with our parents a while back. We didn't like each other at first but I respected her because she my captain. I will name her Beth just to hind her read name. When ever I was around her I got really nervous and excited and red in the face, I tried to hide it. At the end of the 2 hockey season we were good friends, not close but good respectful friends and our families were friends again to. During Cross country season there was a girl that I competed with also. We had a lot in common and we just clicked from the start. We became really good friends. Everyday when I saw her or knew I was going to see her I got nervous. I think I did like her. We still talk to this day. Recently I was watching “THE L WORD†on some YouTube videos and I really like the show and I was attracted to Shane and sexually attracted to Shane. I just recently came out to my Best friend Liz and my boyfriend that I am Bisexual. My boy friend said that Im not Bi because I never tried a women yet and I asked him if we can have an open relationship so I can explore to see if I do like women and he said yes that we could. But when me and him have sex it hurts and It doesn't feel good for me like I think it should even when it doesn't hurt, it feels like nothing. Watching the videos of Shane having sex with the other girls gets me excited. Im attracted to the TYPE that she is, is Shane a butch, soft butch, dyke??? She is boyish yet has women qualities which I love. Im very new to the terms sorry. Also when I was up at college I was attracted to my Hall Director who was a athletic dyke, not fat but in great shape with a nice body. I think we had a connection but im still confused about how lesbian hit on one an other or hint that they are interested in you. I felt her eyes on me a few times and I got to see her Girl friend she was dating. Can anyone tell me if they think I have the potential to be Bi or a Lesbian???
- Thank you
I don't know really where to begin because i have so much to say and have questions for, but i think i will begin in my early child hood. Growing up i was a TOM-BOY , i wore the baggy jeans, t-shirts and hung out with the boys at school. i hated the girl drama and i wanted to play the games with the boys like wall ball, basketball, tag..etc all the girls did was walk around talking about who they were dating, and so on. i was dating a boy at the time( we dated for 4 years, no sex or any thing,) to this day i love very much and hold great in my heart. I loved the way he treated me , stuck by my side and i stuck by his, he was everything to me. We broke up but i still loved him and i hurt him and my self...long story and no i never cheated on him nor did he cheat on me. A year later i met a girl that i hated a first. we would go at it everyday and start fight with each other everyday in class. But everyday when i was going to that class i would get really nervous and get red. I just told my self i hated her and it was nothing. We became friends 3 month later just out of no where and we are Best friends to this day. I will call her Liz to hind her real name. A year before that sorry im going backwards , i forgot about this, an other TOM-BOY was in my school, I was intimidated by her a lot again just wanted to fight her hahah, I wanted to be th toughest girl in the school .Growing up with 3 brother and no sisters and being a TOM-BOY was fun but sometimes it was difficult because my brother called me a Lesbian a lot and ask me many times if I was. I never wanted to think I was a Lesbian because I always thought I was going to get make fun of and gross, like my brother who already did call me a lesbian or thought I was, plus I grew up in a Catholic family but I don't think that matters. In high school my best friend Liz went to a Catholic school, Sacred Heart and the big stereotype is that everyone there are lesbians. For her sweet 16th b-day she had a big party and on the way back in the car she was to making out with one of her friends( female) right in front of me. I got really jealous and mad. I didn't do or say anything. A couple days later I called her and was going to tell her that I was jealous of what she did and I think that I'm in love with her but I couldn't say it. Then after that I changed my mind and just thought it was a thing I was going through. At the time I was trying to get back with my ex boy friend . 2 years later Liz had sex with a girl, which I knew all along she was a Lesbian but her family didn't like it and when they found out she was in a lot of trouble. I was there for her and she talked to me about it , and I except people for who they are no matter what. There were two girls in high school during sports that made me feel “weird†I guess. The first girl was during ice hockey season, and we always competed with each other on the ice. My family and her family didn't like each other because of something that happened with our parents a while back. We didn't like each other at first but I respected her because she my captain. I will name her Beth just to hind her read name. When ever I was around her I got really nervous and excited and red in the face, I tried to hide it. At the end of the 2 hockey season we were good friends, not close but good respectful friends and our families were friends again to. During Cross country season there was a girl that I competed with also. We had a lot in common and we just clicked from the start. We became really good friends. Everyday when I saw her or knew I was going to see her I got nervous. I think I did like her. We still talk to this day. Recently I was watching “THE L WORD†on some YouTube videos and I really like the show and I was attracted to Shane and sexually attracted to Shane. I just recently came out to my Best friend Liz and my boyfriend that I am Bisexual. My boy friend said that Im not Bi because I never tried a women yet and I asked him if we can have an open relationship so I can explore to see if I do like women and he said yes that we could. But when me and him have sex it hurts and It doesn't feel good for me like I think it should even when it doesn't hurt, it feels like nothing. Watching the videos of Shane having sex with the other girls gets me excited. Im attracted to the TYPE that she is, is Shane a butch, soft butch, dyke??? She is boyish yet has women qualities which I love. Im very new to the terms sorry. Also when I was up at college I was attracted to my Hall Director who was a athletic dyke, not fat but in great shape with a nice body. I think we had a connection but im still confused about how lesbian hit on one an other or hint that they are interested in you. I felt her eyes on me a few times and I got to see her Girl friend she was dating. Can anyone tell me if they think I have the potential to be Bi or a Lesbian???
- Thank you
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