does getting molested influence sexuality?

[ZombieSlayer]

i was... molested by my mommas ex boyfriend when i was like under the age of 7 and im not comfy around guys or anything at age 15 or even before. ive always had a thing with guys especially older ones making me uncomfy. i accepted for the most part that im a lesbian. is that why?

[OrphanPip]

Maybe, lesbianism is less understood scientifically than male homosexuality. However, there is still evidence that there is a genetic component to lesbianism.

Whether molestation affects sexual orientation should be separate from the question of how it can affect an individual's sexuality. It definitely affects issues of intimacy and trust.

You should also seek counseling if you haven't, it could do you some good. Being molested isn't something people should try to get over on their own.

[Virgin]

oh my, this is such an awful news. this is why i know from the very beginning when your posts include profane words that something's up with you. good thing i did not judge you that easily.

anyway, i totally agree with orphanpip. counseling is what's best for you, especially when you haven't moved on from that incident. i highly suggest you send pm to marshlander regarding this. the old fart can give you magnificent advise on this matter.

[Beaux]

Molestation affects EVERYTHING and seeking a professional you can speak with is the first step to dealing with the issue. Is it the reason that you are a gay? Who knows. Like Orphan said there are still a lot of things that we need to discover. One way or another, you have to concentrate on taking care of your self. Best wishes friend.

[jbrowder24]

I have to say that I wondered if such an act may have happened to you when I saw some of your posts. When it comes down to it, I'm not sure it will affect your sexuality in the long term (is it biological? environmental? a mix?), though it certainly makes figuring it out all the more confusing. I do think it can affect your sexual nature... I've known people on both ends, one who had been molested to such a point that she became a sex addict as if she felt she needed it to feel good, and another who found it all too easy to shut others out because he was afraid of being hurt. I've also known people that managed to deal with their pain and go on to live normal, healthy, happy lives. Obviously it's something that will always be a part of what shapes you, and as Beaux said, it can affect things. I know you said your mom won't take you to a professional but there are other forums that might be of more help specifically dealing in areas like this, such as Rape & Sexual Abuse Survivor Message Board, Support Forums & Chat Room ... I'm not a survivor myself so can't say I've ever visited it, and there may be other places as well, that's just the one I'm aware of

[jamiebfd]

i was molested as a child too. that was by my mothers husband at the time.
it effected my confidence massively around girls. i seem to be more comfy with men which i dont understand because he was obviously a man.

When ever i try with women i basically loose my confidence and shy away from them.
even though i like women i can not do anything with them untill i am 100% comfy around them and that usually takes a while lol.

I believe its due to thinking sex was wrong after what happend to us as children.
We get nervous because it was told to us at an early age that those men were wrong for having sex etc with us. so that hasstuck with us and we need to learn theres a huge difference between consented sex and molestation.

thats my opinion anyway. (if it makes any sense lol)

feel free to inbox me if you would like to talk privately

[billycostigan]

When I was about 6 I moved in with my grandma. I had to share a room with two of my cousins who were 16 and 17 at the time. They never raped me, but often times one of them would start a 'game.' I won't get graphic but it was inappropriate. My reward was that I could sleep in the bed with one of them instead of on the floor.

I think that people are born gay, but something like this ABSOLUTELY effects the nature of your sexuality. I started therapy a couple of years ago for unrelated reasons and she helped me to see that a lot of my hang-ups about sex stemmed from this. Also, I didn't even realize that nearly all the guys I'd been with or had crushes on were carbon copies of my cousins. After that session I puked in the parking lot.

It takes time but you can work though this. No guilt, no shame. Finding a professional to talk to is key! My heart goes out to anyone who's had this happen to them.