In love...with a closed of guy...need advice ;(
03-21-2011, 07:54 PM
I'm falling for a guy and I may be crazy for it. I am 25 years old, and he is 28. His parents are from Italy and he is the first born American.
We met online and at our first real *life meeting was on new years eve. Months later I'm not sure how things are going....but I do need advice!*
We went on dates and I am one of those people who like to bring gifts for the person I like. I bought him his favorite wine, flowers in his favorite color, tracked down a Madonna VHS he's wanted to see forever...he would always say that's so nice and that I didn't have to do that...
The first time we kissed it was after he got drunk...it was after a month and a half of seeing each-other and when we did he pushed me away a few times saying "omg you look like my ex" he later said he was sorry and if it wasn't for the fat I really liked him I would have ended it....
Asked him if he wanted to be my valentine and he said he'd love too and that it was his first. It would be mine too. Later he said it scared him and when I got him a card, candy and a stupid stuffed animal he said he didn't get mine yet...and I never saw it.*
I asked him if he wanted to be in a relationship and he said he would have never asked what I did that he wants to take it slow and that he likes hanging out. He's dated a lot of "crazy guys"
that never lasted longer then three months.
We never had sex. We had oral three times, every time I want to give it to him I start, he's hard but he will say "in old it takes forever to finish" and he gives me instead.*
A week or two later we spoke and he said he spoke to his friends and they told him I sound like a keeper and to give it a try and his best friend said to open up. When I had seen him that week we kissed and he told me to talk to him and I asked him if he had thought about what we talked about and he said "yeah I am, thought I told you" I was happy I hugged him and he ruined the moment by saying "calm down....your looking at me like you love me"
He invited me over to sleep and just "cuddle" one night and it was so great...later he said another day it was nice but it was suffocating again.
A week later and I came over as soon as I got there he said "we have to talk....this isn't working. I'm not attracted to you all the time. I tried....I really did. I realized I don't want a relationship but I still see you as a friend....like a best friend" I cried, and cried. He told me maybe it was better I left because he had his heart broken and it took him two months to get over and seeing him now wasn't going to help. He walked me to car. We spoke that night all I did was cry and wonder what had happened he called to check on me and said he would call tomorrow. We texted messaged next day and I asked him what to do with a broken heart and he said it kind of goes away and he wasn't feeling that good either.
When he called later I asked him
Why he said he didn't know but he cried when I left and he wasn't expecting that and that if he read his horoscope yesterday he may not have done in...and that he cares about me but wouldn't think of me all the time like I would and he isn't mushy. *He asked me what he wanted me to say and I said I wanted us to go back to how were...and he said he did too and he thinks so...soon. He said he doesn't want me all over him
All time that isn't him....I asked what we are he said we are "hanging out...exclusively"*
I said "so a dating..." "hanging out..." I asked in a year what would we be then and he thought and said "a year...a couple"
When I brought up how he said he wasn't attracted to me he said he is just all time he can't be horny....to me you don't have to be horny to kiss or be attracted to someone on all levels...
Last time we saw each other we spent evening together last week and we didn't do anything until an hour before u left and I said I want to be what he want and he said "I think you are what I want but don't change for me..." the he said he missed me and I asked him really? And he asked is that bad?*
Facts to help explain more:
He cancel all the time if he didn't it he would push the time later and later. He canceled so many time.
Won't add me on facebook because it's only for family and friends and his family doesn't know he's gay...
He's still on the dating website we met on and he says he's just looking and he gets message everyday he's interested to see who it could be. And he's not looking for anyway else ....
Said he just moved out of his fathers and likes being independent and not answering to anyone.
Can't tell him he's handsome he doesn't like it. Can't text him too much because then I'm suffocating...
What can I do? I really feel like I'm loving this man for the first time in my life and in always wondering if he's going to be *running away any day now again....it's so hard loving someone who is like two different people....I don't know what to do anymore.
We met online and at our first real *life meeting was on new years eve. Months later I'm not sure how things are going....but I do need advice!*
We went on dates and I am one of those people who like to bring gifts for the person I like. I bought him his favorite wine, flowers in his favorite color, tracked down a Madonna VHS he's wanted to see forever...he would always say that's so nice and that I didn't have to do that...
The first time we kissed it was after he got drunk...it was after a month and a half of seeing each-other and when we did he pushed me away a few times saying "omg you look like my ex" he later said he was sorry and if it wasn't for the fat I really liked him I would have ended it....
Asked him if he wanted to be my valentine and he said he'd love too and that it was his first. It would be mine too. Later he said it scared him and when I got him a card, candy and a stupid stuffed animal he said he didn't get mine yet...and I never saw it.*
I asked him if he wanted to be in a relationship and he said he would have never asked what I did that he wants to take it slow and that he likes hanging out. He's dated a lot of "crazy guys"
that never lasted longer then three months.
We never had sex. We had oral three times, every time I want to give it to him I start, he's hard but he will say "in old it takes forever to finish" and he gives me instead.*
A week or two later we spoke and he said he spoke to his friends and they told him I sound like a keeper and to give it a try and his best friend said to open up. When I had seen him that week we kissed and he told me to talk to him and I asked him if he had thought about what we talked about and he said "yeah I am, thought I told you" I was happy I hugged him and he ruined the moment by saying "calm down....your looking at me like you love me"
He invited me over to sleep and just "cuddle" one night and it was so great...later he said another day it was nice but it was suffocating again.
A week later and I came over as soon as I got there he said "we have to talk....this isn't working. I'm not attracted to you all the time. I tried....I really did. I realized I don't want a relationship but I still see you as a friend....like a best friend" I cried, and cried. He told me maybe it was better I left because he had his heart broken and it took him two months to get over and seeing him now wasn't going to help. He walked me to car. We spoke that night all I did was cry and wonder what had happened he called to check on me and said he would call tomorrow. We texted messaged next day and I asked him what to do with a broken heart and he said it kind of goes away and he wasn't feeling that good either.
When he called later I asked him
Why he said he didn't know but he cried when I left and he wasn't expecting that and that if he read his horoscope yesterday he may not have done in...and that he cares about me but wouldn't think of me all the time like I would and he isn't mushy. *He asked me what he wanted me to say and I said I wanted us to go back to how were...and he said he did too and he thinks so...soon. He said he doesn't want me all over him
All time that isn't him....I asked what we are he said we are "hanging out...exclusively"*
I said "so a dating..." "hanging out..." I asked in a year what would we be then and he thought and said "a year...a couple"
When I brought up how he said he wasn't attracted to me he said he is just all time he can't be horny....to me you don't have to be horny to kiss or be attracted to someone on all levels...
Last time we saw each other we spent evening together last week and we didn't do anything until an hour before u left and I said I want to be what he want and he said "I think you are what I want but don't change for me..." the he said he missed me and I asked him really? And he asked is that bad?*
Facts to help explain more:
He cancel all the time if he didn't it he would push the time later and later. He canceled so many time.
Won't add me on facebook because it's only for family and friends and his family doesn't know he's gay...
He's still on the dating website we met on and he says he's just looking and he gets message everyday he's interested to see who it could be. And he's not looking for anyway else ....
Said he just moved out of his fathers and likes being independent and not answering to anyone.
Can't tell him he's handsome he doesn't like it. Can't text him too much because then I'm suffocating...
What can I do? I really feel like I'm loving this man for the first time in my life and in always wondering if he's going to be *running away any day now again....it's so hard loving someone who is like two different people....I don't know what to do anymore.
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