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So very confused!! Help?
I don't think you would have created a false alternative life whre you feel happily straight and get aroused by women. As I said in my first post, you are most likely bi (possibly leaning towards women, but some attraction to men) or simply are going through a bi-curious stage.

I think it's very possible for people to find people of both genders attractive without their being a sexual element. I certainly find a few women beautiful, but I would not want to have sex with them. Sometimes sorting that all out is confusing. I know for me, when I was still in denial, I made a list of actors/actresses I found good looking. I'd never allowed myself to consider men in real life as I didn't really know any gays, so it was easier to do this with strangers. And at first, the list was somewhat equal... then a bit more leaning towards men. It was then when I saw an example of a masculine gay on TV (Danny Roberts from Real World New Orleans circa 2000) that I realized being gay didn't mean having to be a stereotype. After that, and as I explored further, I definitely found myself sexually turned on by men in a way I'd never really felt with women.

For me, it also helped to think about 1) private parts and 2) oral sex. I know it sounds silly, but you can insert into a man or woman... unless of course you feel a desire to try bottoming. But with 1) I find that breasts do nothing for me, but I like the idea of a mans chest... this one of course could be confused with am I attracted to that or do I just want a body like that, so you may be better off with 2). How does the thought of going down a woman compare to the thought of sucking a man make you feel? Does one sound more appealing? Are they equally appealing? Etc. If you aren't repulsed by the idea of either, perhaps there's some attraction that's been oppressed, but your text definitely indicates you like women.

There is one other option to explore and I hope this is not too scandalous for me to suggest, but perhaps you have other ideas? For example, there are straight or "heteroflexible" men who get into domination scenes including with another man dominating them... this is not as common or likely as simply being bi-curious, but I just want to throw it out there. Even if it's not that, it's an example that whatever you experienced with your meditation might be reflective of some other desire than sexuality.

Quote:How did you guys realize that you were actually gay, and were you just sure?

For me, it was very clear that I was gay when I reached puberty. The first time I noticed my budding sexuality was while I was walking behind a guy who had a nice ass. Guys in my town tended to wear tight wrangler jeans, and I was very aroused by looking at guy's butts. I have honestly never seen girls in a sexual manner.

Konfused Wrote:Could this have created an entirely false reality for me to live in, happily I might add, for my whole 22 year life?

I very much doubt it, but suppose you did manage to create this false reality if you are happy why break it?

Konfused Wrote:Ugh, I'm sooo lost in all of this right now, and I feel very unstable trying so hard to simply figure out my true orientation.

I think you might be thinking too much. Try just following your feeling a bit more, or more bluntly, follow your cock and your heart.

Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.

Hello there,
I first realised i was gay when i was 16 however... At the age of 12 i knew I was different but didnt know how.. I knew i liked guys but didnt know what i was and it didnt happen over night such as i didnt wake up and think i am gonna be gay now... l spent alot of my childhood fighting who i was and then at 16 i realised i was gay... I grew to accept myself as myself and developed upon my instincts which then lead me to a happy life... I did have a girlfriend when i was younger but felt unhappy about the relationship as though i was pining for male attention and was only truely happy with another man

Kindest regards

zeon x

Speaking of spirituality, have you considered looking into astrology at all? All the tauruses I know are extremely slow moving in any kind of change that the make, and they hold steady to their beliefs which must change slowly and natural. You can go to an astrology forum site and give them your birth info, and they'll look at your natal chart, as well as any major transits currently affecting your chart. It sounds like you may be having some slow moving self discovering aspect with yourself, and you're coming into it. Best of luck on your journey!

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