Advice for a good friend

[zander]

Hi people,

A couple of days ago my best friend at uni told me that he was gay, he is 20 years old and has shown absolutely no sign of it in the past. He said that he had told his parents and one other friend but has been really quite depressed about it over the last couple of months or so. Now I have absolutely no problem with the news and the initial conversation went well, I think he came away feeling rather relieved and happy. My problem is that being quite an emotionally repressed guy I don't really know what to say or do to make him feel more comfortable about it. Should I do anything or would that be interfering too much and would it be better if I just left it? Also he is very worried about telling some other friends who may or may not hold more prejudice than myself. Is there any advice I can give him to make this easier?

Mainly I would just like to understand better how he must be feeling except for the obvious such as confused etc.

Any comments would be much appreciated. mile:

[jbrowder24]

Props to you.

In general, I think treating him the same is good. He might be a bit afraid yet that though the conversation went well, that the dynamic between you guys could change. That doesn't mean to ignore that side of him, but if you go out of your way in the other direction it might ring false.

Right now he does need you though, it sounds like, to prepare for friends. I think it's good to remind him that if any other friends do take the news less than favorably, that it's okay. He can be better off with people who still see him for who he is, like you, and perhaps with time they'll come around. But most younger people these days are like you where it won't be an issue. Good luck, and props to you for caring so much about your friend to come onto a message board asking for advice

[Beaux]

What JB said ^. Now is going to be a "weeding out" time in your friends life, but having one good friend that stands beside you makes up for a million of the false.

[marshlander]

It sounds like he has fallen on his feet having a good friend like you to look out for him. The whole coming out thing can be very unsettling and the emotions can sometimes be all over the place. To be frank I don't know that you really need to do anything, but he will probably be pleased to know that you can just be there when he needs a reality check.

[Jfierce]

Tell him you really appreciate him, consider him to be a great friend and that you will be there for him when needed. Keep in contact with him and continue to do activities that you enjoy together. It will mean more to him then you'll ever know to have a true friend!!!