I need help from closet homosexuals. (I'm straight.)

[Anonymous]

First of all. I do realize and respect the fact that this is a gay site. That's why I wont introduce myself in the new members section. I'm only here for one question. Homosexuals have been abstinent from men for thousands of years. I assume there are members here that might keep their sexuality locked away.

I suffer from Social Anxiety. I cannot talk to anyone, yet alone courting a woman. I am even too shy to look at women. I have long since accepted that I'll be forever alone. I will not hire a prostitute. So I decided to stop wanting women. It worked for a while, I really didn't want any.

But now I want one so bad! It doesn't go away no matter what I do. Maybe there is a homosexual here that mastered to keep the desires at bay who could help me?

Please!

[SlipknotRlZZ]

And you have never considered trying to break that shyness? :/

[Everhard]

Oh my...well let's see here.

Gay men have not abstained from men ever, they usually have just hidden their male lovers with wives and children.

Social anxiety (to the extent that it affects your life as it has) is a very serious problem that you may want to consider seeing a psychiatrist about. The desires you have aren't going to just go away because you want them to, and denying your urges is not healthy physically or psychologically.

My advice is to seek some kind of professional help for you anxiety disorder instead of trying to force yourself to ignore your desires.

[fenris]

Hi and Welcome,

for my opinion it is a complete wrong way to advice you to stay longer social isolated. The best way seems that you go to a psychologist and try to make a treatment against your social anxiety... Nobody has to be or should stay his live long alone....
The first few step are maybe no easy .. but it is the best way in your case....
Maybe you can find a support group in your community and start with talking to others with the same problem to show you a solution

[posterpicture]

First, hi

Start expanding your social network by joining group sharing same interested (support group is a good start).
Playing sport and working out will pump your confidence.

And by doing these 2 things, there maybe a chance you will meet your woman there

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the advice guys. But I don't need that kind of advice. I could get it in any forum. I came to this specific forum for specific help.

I was deeply in love once. She was the first thing I thought about when waking up. And I just had to look at her all the time, lol. I did approach her, she gave me her number, then she turned me down cause I had social anxiety...

I want to stop wanting women. I've been thinking about saying that I'm a pedophile so they'll castrate me. But I'm scared it wont work.

[SlipknotRlZZ]

You may deny your desires, you may deny who you ware...but in the end it will just lead to things that are much worse than you have it now. Please, just try to work it out first. Just give it a try.
Gay men who deny their homosexual desires ends up having lives that are a complete lie and are never happy or even satisfied with what they have...There is no real way to deny your urges and stuff, except maybe if you went to the army or you became a monk or...something like that. Even than you desires won't go away, you will just be prohibited from having them. Don't make ruin your life, don't make yourself suffer more.
Give it a try, talk to someone about it, a psychologist or a psychiatrist. Maybe it will work out. Please...

[fenris]

Thanks for the advice guys. But I don't need that kind of advice. I could get it in any forum. I came to this specific forum for specific help.

I was deeply in love once. She was the first thing I thought about when waking up. And I just had to look at her all the time, lol. I did approach her, she gave me her number, then she turned me down cause I had social anxiety...

I want to stop wanting women. I've been thinking about saying that I'm a pedophile so they'll castrate me. But I'm scared it wont work.

Sorry.... but I think you are one a wrong way..... As I said before it is the wrong way to advice someone to stay alone and unhappy if he has a good chance to live a happy life... and that is no question of hetero-, homo- or bisexuality.
Forget this "castrate-thing"... It maybe helps "against your sexuality" ... but it don´t helps against lonelyness. If you look around here in this forum you will find much of gays or bisexuals in the closet.... and there is no one happy with this situation, they all want a partner .. friends, family....
I know .. you want to hear a advice how you can stay in your situation... where is no need to move yourself.... but no one who will give a serious advice will help you to make yourself unhappy or that you stay in a unhealthy situation.
Do it for yourself and try to find help .... for your soul and feelings....

[marshlander]

I denied my feelings for men and married my best friend when I was nineteen. It turned out pretty disastrously and I became suicidally depressed. I don't recommend it.

I've been through long years of counselling, drug therapy, a divorce, working hard to accept and embrace my sexuality and I have had a wonderful partner over the past eight years or so and am finally on reasonably friendly terms with my ex. I know which situation I prefer.

I hope no one here feels to affirm the difficult choices to which you aspire. I think it will only do you harm in the long-term. Of course, I'm sure you know that falsely confessing to being a child-abuser would have you placed on the sexual offences register forever and could well affect employment prospects.

I hope you manage to see a way through this that doesn't cause you more damage.

[jbrowder24]

You could try and find a hypnotherapist because what you're talking about, NO, we don't have some good advice to give you. Those of us that were ever in the closet always had attractions that we longed to show in public, and sometimes had them in private. Your idea of what gay men have had to go through is so miss guided and wrong. I do know what it's like to have some social anxiety, so I feel for you, but if you can work up the courage to post on a gay site, you can work up the courage to try e-mailing a girl on a dating site. You are just afraid of rejection which sadly is part of life, but that doesn't mean to hide.

Maybe, if you're trying to master the art of denying yourself, you really should see if there's a priest forum somewhere out there that can offer you advice? Sure a few ended up being pervs, but there's bound to be some who actually do withhold from sexual desire per their calling. And man you should consider becoming a priest before a pedophile, and no the two do not go hand in hand.