Hi guys. Im a closeted gay or bi guy. Im still trying to figure that out but i dont really think its that much of a big deal. Ill accept whatever i am (but im definitely NOT straight haha).
My question here is; i have not dated anyone IRL (probably cause of me being closeted). No guy has (legitimately) asked me out yet BUT ive already had 3 guys within the past year try to rape me. Yes, you read that right. rape, two of which were attempted in broad daylight. None of them succeeded though (i run quite fast haha). My question is, what am i doing wrong to attract rapists rather than guys who would want a real relationship?
im the kinda guy who would only do things sexually with someone i am in a relationship with and i have real feelings for. In addition to that, im a virgin and i value that. I dont want to loose it in some one night stand or with a fuck buddy, i want real love (sounds cheesy, i know but i wont change that standard).
Im sure that there are many factors to what causes me to attract these kind of people but i honestly dont know what they are so ill leave you guys to ask me. What do you think?
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
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First off, you're not doings damnthing wrong. They're the oneswho are wrong. Carry a can of mace. That shirt burns. You should come to oklahoma, ill date you 
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I just find it unusual that i get to attract those kinda people when i cant even get a date for a weekend or something 
I also have a feeling that it might be because i probably give out a vibe of vulnerability (im not really sure about this but i think i do) even though i try to drown that out by showing confidence or some other mask, though none of my friends have told me that i look vulnerable.
And... that's sweet
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lol, freaks will alwas be freaks, theres nothing you can do about it 
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I'm curious about these guys and how you're becoming acquainted with them. Are they strangers in a street? From gay clubs? From online that assumed it was a hook-up when you were just looking to hang? If it's strangers in a street, I'm not sure what to tell you other than to second that mace. If it's the other two, don't put yourself in a one-on-one situation with someone until you've chatted and are certain it's someone that wants to date. Meet in public places, have significant chats online before meeting in person, etc. Without knowing more details on these guys, I might be missing something, but real guys are out there. Any plans on coming out at some point, at least to some? You have to do that at your own pace, but if you're wanting a real relationship it's something to give serious consideration.
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public places for sure, I genreally dont go private with someone till i have hung out with them in public a few times, but im not a little guy, so I can defend myself a little better...
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jbrowder24 Wrote:I'm curious about these guys and how you're becoming acquainted with them. Are they strangers in a street? From gay clubs? From online that assumed it was a hook-up when you were just looking to hang? If it's strangers in a street, I'm not sure what to tell you other than to second that mace. If it's the other two, don't put yourself in a one-on-one situation with someone until you've chatted and are certain it's someone that wants to date. Meet in public places, have significant chats online before meeting in person, etc. Without knowing more details on these guys, I might be missing something, but real guys are out there. Any plans on coming out at some point, at least to some? You have to do that at your own pace, but if you're wanting a real relationship it's something to give serious consideration.
Two of them were strangers and one was a teacher. I already knew that the teacher was coming on to me cause he kept on offering me things but i kept on rejecting him then one day he decided to try pulling me to an empty room. The other two just popped out of no where and 'attacked' me.
And yeah, im planning to come out to everyone within this year and maybe the first few months of next year. Its just that im working on something right now thats very important to me and i cant let anything else bother me.
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rakmatis Wrote:public places for sure, I genreally dont go private with someone till i have hung out with them in public a few times, but im not a little guy, so I can defend myself a little better...
hey im not exactly tiny either! haha I may be slender but i exercise enough to have a good built oh, and would it make a difference if i tell you that one of the strangers went onto me when i was just wearing my underwear? haha
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Wow, you were almost raped 3 times?! God damn!
I understand the first one was your teacher, and that's really fucked up! You should have reported him when he was offering you things, despite you refusing to accept his gifts! That could have prevented the attempted rape by letting him know that you were serious about him crossing the line of being merely a teacher! Regardless, if you're in or out of the closet, that's a difficult situation! It's sad knowing that people in authoritative positions feel that they can abuse their positions to take advantage of others! I hope you report him, he's probably attempting to rape many other students!
Although, there's no excuse for raping someone, you can definitely lower your chances of being raped!
About the other two guys who almost raped you....
Here's my advice for that:
[COLOR="Black"]
- Use common sense!
- Stay away from strangers!
- Avoid isolated or gritty locations that are more susceptible for harboring would-be rapists.
- Follow you're instincts, they're usually always right! (e.g. If you're worried about going into that dark alley, Don't go!)
- Avoid wearing revealing cloths (e.g. wearing only underwear), or by being sexually suggestive in any aspect.
- Carry yourself with good posture and confidence, that tells others that you're confident, and NOT an easy target.
- Don't act as if you're lost, new to the area, or a tourist, when you're out in public! That equals easy prey to predators!
- Go out with friends more often than just by yourself (rapists are less likely to attack when you're surrounded by other people aka witnesses.)
- Make sure to be alert at all times, and don't seem heavily distracted to others! (Rapists find it easier to attack those who are unaware and ill-prepared to defend themselves.)
- Carry a loaded gun or other concealed weapons with you, if you're outside by yourself, and learn how to use them! (It won't help to have a gun, if you don't know how to shoot it!)[/COLOR]
Hope that helps! Good luck!
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Dreamer Wrote:Wow, you were almost raped 3 times?! God damn!
I understand the first one was your teacher, and that's really fucked up! You should have reported him when he was offering you things, despite you refusing to accept his gifts! That could have prevented the attempted rape by letting him know that you were serious about him crossing the line of being merely a teacher! Regardless, if you're in or out of the closet, that's a difficult situation! It's sad knowing that people in authoritative positions feel that they can abuse their positions to take advantage of others! I hope you report him, he's probably attempting to rape many other students!
Although, there's no excuse for raping someone, you can definitely lower your chances of being raped!
About the other two guys who almost raped you....
Here's my advice for that:
[COLOR="Black"]
- Use common sense!
- Stay away from strangers!
- Avoid isolated or gritty locations that are more susceptible for harboring would-be rapists.
- Follow you're instincts, they're usually always right! (e.g. If you're worried about going into that dark alley, Don't go!)
- Avoid wearing revealing cloths (e.g. wearing only underwear), or by being sexually suggestive in any aspect.
- Carry yourself with good posture and confidence, that tells others that you're confident, and NOT an easy target.
- Don't act as if you're lost, new to the area, or a tourist, when you're out in public! That equals easy prey to predators!
- Go out with friends more often than just by yourself (rapists are less likely to attack when you're surrounded by other people aka witnesses.)
- Make sure to be alert at all times, and don't seem heavily distracted to others! (Rapists find it easier to attack those who are unaware and ill-prepared to defend themselves.)
- Carry a loaded gun or other concealed weapons with you, if you're outside by yourself, and learn how to use them! (It won't help to have a gun, if you don't know how to shoot it!)[/COLOR]
Hope that helps! Good luck!
Ill keep everything you said in mind but just so you know, none of them happened in risky places. 2 in a mall and one at school. And i don't wear revealing clothing haha the one where i was wearing underwear was in a locker room. i was changing Im much more cautious nowadays though
time to buy some pepperspray
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What am i doing wrong?!
