I'd appreciate some advice. (It's long. My apologies)

[Retrospect]

Removed.

Thanks to all for advice.

[DarkDaisuke]

Wow... I'm sorry to hear about this Hmm the mere fact he came out to you with the trust issues thing sort of says to me he wants to trust you I guess :/ Maybe just my interpretation. About the whole orientation thing, sounds to me he might just not want to label it. Lots of people are like that, and like he said I guess he likes both, but prefers men more Whether emotionally or physically you'd have to ask but still. You could try to help.
About the whole dating thing, I think it couldn't hurt to ask him out on a date Tell him how you honestly feel and if he'd be willing to give it a shot since hes leaving in 2 months.
But good luck dude! I'm rooting for ya I seriously hope you get him

[azulai]

I am having a wonderful day reading and listening to the rain outside! Thanks and welcome to the forum!

So this man, Luis, works for my college. After he received his B.A in California, he came to GA to work as a supervisor of Student Life & Activities. I'm a junior.

Check your university's Staff-Student Relationships Policy for what constitutes misconduct. The fact that he is a supervisor of Student Life & Activities may make students totally off limits.

In my opinion, your email left the door wide open if he was interested. His reply is basically keeping things as a friendship. It does sound like he is being honest and given what you have written about his past relationship, maybe he's just not anywhere near being ready for another. I'd be willing to bet he is not confused about gender/orientation but that is all he is going to tell you on the subject. When he says:

I like to just put my problems aside and move on

I'm reading that as he's not going to spend time analyzing/discussing things. He accepts life and lives it.

he did not want to hurt his feelings and the other guy was a bit too emotionally attached.

I think he learned his lesson from that situation and is being cautious. Maybe he needs to enjoy his freedom. The fact that he stayed with someone rather than hurt his feelings tells me he's a nice guy but needs to work on his needs in a relationship.

This is just my opinion, and maybe someone has a better take on things. I have found that the most important thing in dealing with others is to truly LISTEN to the words they use when talking to us, especially when describing themselves or past relationships. In hindsight, I've noticed that I missed very obvious things that could have saved me some aggravation.

Have you asked if you could keep in touch when he leaves to work on his Ph.D? Maybe in time the friendship could be more, but right now my recommendation would be to just enjoy your friendship and not pursue more. Sorry. Best wishes.

ETA: I agree with DarkDaisuke's take on maybe this guy doesn't like labels.

[toomuch45]

hi retrospect first off i would like to say nice to meet you

i think you should go with number 2 because he may be bi curious and if i wasnt too sure of his sexuality i would be afraid to go out with that person because i dont want him breaking up with me for a girl or another guy therefore i wouldent want to get hurt because ive had that happened to me once before
thats my opinion on this whole situation

[DarkDaisuke]

Heh thanks Azulai but yeah Ive met people like that and they're not too rare. He seems to know what he likes ya know. He just is confused about the labels I guess :/ And it does make it confusing. Sexuality is a lot more than labels Ive come to learn over the last few months. And hey toomuch

[jbrowder24]

Yeah, I'd be a bit careful about student/ staff policies... and any interest he might have, he may be withholding because of that concern. Though your letter mentions people missing him; is he leaving? Was confused on that.

Aside from that, it sounds like he'd benefit from this site too.... whether he is bi or a confused gay, he definitely seems like he doesn't want to be labeled/judged and doesn't seem to realize what a diverse group we can be. So my instinct is to go with 2, but without being pushy, and see if things go elsewhere feelings wise.

[sweetlad2010]

That guy you are chatting about reminds me of me.

Sorry not any help but just thought I would say lol!

[Retrospect]

Thank you all for your responses.
I have taken what you guys have said into thought and consideration.

I'm thinking, that if I just ask him out on a date, it would be one of those, "do it or you'll never find out" sort of things. I'm prepare for a rejection. Like, I'm giving this a 15% success chance. hah.
I just don't want it to hurt the relationship we have now.

I agree that what I wrote him does look like I'm opening the doors and such, and his response was a bit vague and non-informative. Though, maybe I'm thinking too much into this, but does what I wrote him also send a message of, "I'm trying to not like you. I do, but you are moving and this would just not work." Which would lead him to not try anything towards me since it MAY seem like I opened the doors, but am trying to close them?
Or am I just over thinking? heh.

Also, although he is leaving, he plans on coming back in a couple year when he's done with his Ph.D and he's coming back this Nov. because we have a competition to go to here in GA.

And one other thing, that may sound a little dumb and it may just be me trying to reason and justify with my selfish side:
I don't think he has orientation issues by any means, but he definitely doesn't like labels. He's a bit touchy about labeling, and I'm sure he has his own reasons.
If I ask him about it now, and see if I can help, he wont want it. At all. Because he doesn't welcome other's help. Although he's an EXTREMELY nice person, he wont allow anyone to help him.
So I'm thinking if we date, maybe I can get a bit closer to him and help him a bit more than if we just stay friends.

Again, thanks all again.

[Retrospect]

Oops, double post.

[sweetlad2010]

Dude dont do what I do and thats nothing, your giving this a 15% success chance. I would any chance is better than none.

They do say there is plenty in the sea lol!