closeted friend/crush
06-04-2011, 08:46 PM
So for the past 5 months i have had the absolute worst crush i've ever had on this guy i met at school last semester. When i first met him, i immediately got the vibe that he was either gay or bisexual, and thats when i started to fall for him. Finally, i told him how i felt about him, but he told me he was straight. At first i just didnt believe him (because he had done certain things when we were drunk that strongly led me to beleive he was not 100% straight)... but after a few difficult months i was finally starting to accept the fact that he was straight. In the process, we became extremely good friends...
so then, last week i went to visit him in baltimore (he is taking some summer classes at MICA) and stayed with him for 2 nights. This was the first time i had ever been with him completely alone. We got extremely drunk, and i started getting a little touchy with him, just putting my arm around him and stuff like that. At first he just let me do it, but then after he got a little drunker he started doing it back. Finally, nearly at the point of blacking out and ready to go to bed, we were going to inflate this blow up mattress for me to sleep on... and then he says (to my surprise) something like "what if i told you i was a little bicurious, but that i couldn't do anything about it because of my family?" i dont remember exactly how i responded at this point, but the conversation ended with him saying "good! then we dont need to blow up the mattress."
So we ended up both sleeping in his bed... we were spooning, and at one point i think i put my hand down his pants but he said he didnt want to do anything sexual. around that time i passed out. When i woke up, he had moved to another room. He says he doesn't remember moving, but i'm assuming he woke up at some point in the night and sort of freaked out a little.
anyway, i'm not really sure what to do now. the next day, when i brought up the previous night, he just sort of denied it and once again claimed to be completely straight. a few days ago i texted him about it, just saying that i dont really understand why he would do those things with me if didn't mean it, and that it was kind of a cruel thing to do since he knows how i feel about him. he didnt respond. I know its not really in my place to try and force him out of the closet, but at the same time its not really fair for him to torture me like this either... he just makes me seem crazy because when he's sober he acts 100% straight and very convincingly denies that anything happened, so now im starting to question myself.... any advice?
so then, last week i went to visit him in baltimore (he is taking some summer classes at MICA) and stayed with him for 2 nights. This was the first time i had ever been with him completely alone. We got extremely drunk, and i started getting a little touchy with him, just putting my arm around him and stuff like that. At first he just let me do it, but then after he got a little drunker he started doing it back. Finally, nearly at the point of blacking out and ready to go to bed, we were going to inflate this blow up mattress for me to sleep on... and then he says (to my surprise) something like "what if i told you i was a little bicurious, but that i couldn't do anything about it because of my family?" i dont remember exactly how i responded at this point, but the conversation ended with him saying "good! then we dont need to blow up the mattress."
So we ended up both sleeping in his bed... we were spooning, and at one point i think i put my hand down his pants but he said he didnt want to do anything sexual. around that time i passed out. When i woke up, he had moved to another room. He says he doesn't remember moving, but i'm assuming he woke up at some point in the night and sort of freaked out a little.
anyway, i'm not really sure what to do now. the next day, when i brought up the previous night, he just sort of denied it and once again claimed to be completely straight. a few days ago i texted him about it, just saying that i dont really understand why he would do those things with me if didn't mean it, and that it was kind of a cruel thing to do since he knows how i feel about him. he didnt respond. I know its not really in my place to try and force him out of the closet, but at the same time its not really fair for him to torture me like this either... he just makes me seem crazy because when he's sober he acts 100% straight and very convincingly denies that anything happened, so now im starting to question myself.... any advice?
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
mile: ). Believe a guy who came out to his sister this morning (the first person from my non-gay life who got to know). I'm single, but if I was in a relationship, I would be much braver. 
