getting over my attraction

[musicman2229]

I am attracted to my best friend. I always have been. In a way, it was sort of my first foray into the dating scene. I started talking with him because he was attractive, and we hit it off. Of course, he's straight as an arrow. That would be too easy. He was the first person I came out to, just this past christmas break. I was terrified that it would end our friendship. Instead it brought us closer. He told me that nobody suspected a thing (apparently I'm good at hiding), and that it wouldn't change anything between us, and it hasn't. That's a lot of maturity to ask from a 19 year old sports jock, and it shows a remarkably high level of self security on his part that he is not afraid of how hanging out with me could affect his own image among his more closed-minded teammates. I have spent the past several months in a state of ecstatic openness with him. We talk about things I never thought I would share with anybody. For this reason, I can say with absolute certainty that he is in no way interested in sexual relations with other men.

The nagging problem in the back of my mind is that with this newfound openness with him, my physical attraction to him has only increased. My specific attraction to him has never been discussed in our conversations, but he is very perceptive, and I am sure he has picked up on it. Consciously, I am fully aware that it can never happen, and even if it could, it shouldn't. I have seen too many close friends hook up, break up, and never speak to each other again, and I would never want that to happen to us. It's a moot point. That said, I am still wildly attracted to him, and I'm starting to worry that as I try to ease myself into the gay dating scene, my attraction to him will hold me back, or blind me to the other good things right in front of me.

The advice I am seeking is how do I stamp out, or at least overcome, my physical attraction to him while maintaining our very special friendship? Thank you for your responses.

[princealbertofb]

Well you've got the answer already there. You need to form a more attracted bond with someone who loves you and whom you can love in return, someone with whom you can have physical closeness as well as a great relationship. Hopefully that someone won't be averse to you having attractive mates for friends... When you finally realise that you can have your cake, and eat it (with someone else), your friendship will be saved. On the other hand, your mate will probably find himself a nice woman partner, so hope that she can enjoy your company too, so that your friendship doesn't have to end on account of a bitchy wife, or an overbearing female partner.
You can never have too many friends, so if your love relationship with someone likeminded doesn't last, you can always go running to your straight mate to get it off your chest. He'll know what you're talking about and still be a comforting soul. I hope you can do the same for him if things don't work out for him romantically.

[jamiebfd]

Think...
would you rather have a best friend forever
or a boyfriend that may not last forever?
I think you already know the solution here... find another attraction... maybe someone who reminds you of him lol.
dont look too hard though xD

[Jay]

This might sound silly. But what I did was converting the way I see my friend from a crush to a brother. I was able to forget him as a crush after I started calling him bro or brother. I know not everyone likes the title, bro. But he's fine with it. He calls me buddy, chief or mate. But anyway the point is I had to change the way I think and see him from a crush to something else.

Good luck Musicman.