Straight man with potent thoughts...

[princealbertofb]

ON the other hand, why bother to get all hampered down with all the gay relationship baggage if you are perfectly happy in a straight relationship, one that society doesn't only not question, but also condones fiercely? ... I don't see who would go down that route.

You, on the other hand, while comfortable with the idea of having gay sex, but not a relationship, are maybe trying to have your cake and eat it. If your fiancée doesn't mind, you're just one lucky guy. If she does, well, does it have to be a choice? I would question more that fact that you don't want to share this man on man experience with her when you had no qualms sharing yourself with two ladies...

I understand that the nature of male relationships with women can often be strained because of a woman's possessive nature (I'm not saying only women display that trait, however, don't get me wrong), but while we often hear of guys just "doing it" together without the slightest emotional factor, I'm not sure it will necessarily come with no strings attached. It may well depend who you choose to do it with.

My suggestions of including your partner was only for her not to feel left out, to have some control over the situation and because she might find it interesting, since she's adventurous, to explore and learn with you. What's more it might also be easier to find a bisexual man who'll gladly operate with you as a threesome. A gay man might not accept the deal, as some are completely turned off by women. Ultimately, it is nonetheless your call.

[AlaricXY]

Undertow, I say you should give gay sex a try.
We are still young, exploring and experimenting is not a crime.
Although you are engaged, and having sex with another man might translate to unfaithful.
But it is better for you to find out what you want know, rather than to let your true nature surfaces after you get married and have kids. That would be awful to your fiancé to find out that she turned her husband gay.
Maybe after you tried gay sex, you can decide whether if your urge to have sex with another man is just pure fantasy, or could it be the alternative nature of you is finally surfacing after all these years.
Do it for the sake of your wellbeing, and your fiancé.
Try it once, if you dislike it, forget it.
But if you do enjoy it, maybe it's time to search for what you are actually.

[marshlander]

It is a pleasure to read such articulate posts as yours, Undertow. It sounds as though you really are kneeling before Pandora's locked box. If you are able to discuss these thoughts and feelings with your fiancée I think it might be better. I certainly do not recommend that, feeling the way you do at the moment, you enter marriage and produce children although, of course, you will choose what you think is right for you.

Our upbringings create many of our responses. Should you explore your sexual curiosity with a man it is absolutely possible that you could unlock feelings the like of which you do not presently consider yourself capable.

I applaud you for realising that you have to face these issues now. If you really are inclined to need a man in your life, Mother Nature won't let you go. Reaching middle age with that part of you having gone unrequited can have devastating consequences in terms of your relationships as well as your mental, physical and emotional well-being.

Best wishes to you and your fiancée.