Am I depressed?

[marshlander]

Why do you think they will lock you up for thoughts of suicide that clearly aren't serious intentions?

That was the question that came to my mind when I read your post. Not meaning to put another worry your way, but I would have thought that a greater concern would have been whether your parents' medical insurance covers treatment for mental health issues or whether a diagnosis would affect their premiums.

To me you sound utterly exhausted. If you are determined not to have any medical intervention you are going to need to find a reserve of strength to tackle your health yourself. I think azulai has made some very practical suggestions, but finding that reserve of determination is going to be very difficult.

May I wish you well. Keep writing here if it helps.

[joseph]

if your are very sad it mith be deperessed.it can be seeing a docter and talking docter and tablets i hope it helps.i sometimes the tablets can make you poorly but getting new tableits. it wont be forever liek this.

[XRIMO]

Depression isn't fun, and really I don't think there is anyway to tackle it all on your own. I am currently in a depressive state myself. I've been seeing a therapist for the last 6 months. All I can say, is try to find someone to talk to, it will help alleviate some of the pain.

From what I have learned seeing my therapist, all our emotions stem from thoughts. For most people it goes down to thoughts like 'I'll always be alone, I am unlovable, I am pathetic' these are the thoughts I deal with on a daily basis. You have to be able to disprove them to yourself, remind yourself of the friends you have, of the people that do love you and all the great qualities you possess. I feel funny saying that, because I know exactly how hard it is overcome and I'm still struggling with it, but at least I am aware of it now.

Good luck and I hope it improves for you!

[Anonymous]

Thank you everybody for taking the time to respond. I really appreciate the feedback. When I get back to school I think I will set up an appointment to see the campus doctor. It's confidential and free, and we'll see what happens. I also plan to start seeing one of the school counselors to talk about this social anxiety. I feel like this is one problem I really need to conquer, and there is no reason why I should't be able to. Thanks again for your kind words.

[BYoNexus]

anytime, whoever you are

[Vikta]

After reading your post, It's obvious you're intelligent and have put a great deal of thought into the possibility of being depressed and the implications of such. You've scoured the internet looking for answers to a problem that perhaps can only be diagnosed by a doctor. I too am guilty of such actions, and what can sometimes only be described as an obtuse misadventure... Perhaps also like me you've driven yourself crazy with trying to 'think' your way out of it... like every other challenge you've encountered. Unfortunately, at least in my own experience, depression doesn't work that way. The 'solution' will remain as elusive as that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

And I can relate to the confusion that comes with the sometimes seemingly irrationality of being depressed. Having so much to be thankful for, but unable to be 'happy' about it. Anyhow, all is not lost :^).

Now apart from visiting with a doctor, which you should do particularly if the depression becomes so unbearable that you continue to think about an existence without your presence, there are a few things that have helped me. I've journaled for the past three or so years, nearly every day but most especially on the downer days. Raw, reflective, uninhibited emotion conveyed to paper has helped me better perceive what's going on, putting me at peace with much of what was causing my unhappiness. I've redefined what it means to be happy, and have come to be okay with the reality that I'm not always going to be happy.

Perceived helplessness is no less debilitating than real helplessness. Fortunately those who suffer from perceived helplessness have the option of reformatting their perceptions to be something other than helpless. It takes time and may be an ongoing struggle, but finding oneself able to truly appreciate even the seemingly most mundane makes it worth it.

Good luck Mr. Anonymous!

-Victor E.

[azulai]

Thank you everybody for taking the time to respond. I really appreciate the feedback. When I get back to school I think I will set up an appointment to see the campus doctor. It's confidential and free, and we'll see what happens. I also plan to start seeing one of the school counselors to talk about this social anxiety. I feel like this is one problem I really need to conquer, and there is no reason why I should't be able to. Thanks again for your kind words.

Thanks for giving us an update. I'm glad you are going this route.

Honestly no I am not. Exercise has always been very uncomfortable for me, and while I have gone through periods where I followed exercise regimens, they never really seemed to affect my mood, confidence, or self esteem. Mostly I was just really tired whenever I had to do something important.

As for the diet, again no I am not. My schedule is packed and different every day. It's a poor excuse, I know, but balanced meals are tough when you start at 8:30 am, go until 11 pm and do it all again the next day.

Oh, and I forgot to mention if you are tired after exercising you can make a protein milkshake or smoothie. It might help.
Before you head to school in the morning, peel a banana and cut it in half and wash about 4-6 strawberries, put them in a ziplock and throw it in the freezer. (Just make sure you cut the banana in half before freezing-->I learned this the hard way. :biggrin

So after you exercise, throw one half of the frozen banana, maybe 4 frozen strawberries in the blender and add maybe a cup of milk and 1 scoop of protein powder. I use a chocolate flavored mix called Pure Protein (it contains whey). Blend it. You can add ice depending on the consistency you want/add stuff to your taste. It also helps with building lean muscle.

The only down side is you have a blender to wash. :tongue: