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Why is love between people of different ages being such a huge irritant for many?
#1
Why is love between people of different ages being such a huge irritant for many I wonder? It can't be that bad, if it is just mutual love! Now I've turned 20 and I met my first love when I was in my teens, 14 or so.
It was the time when I couldn't feel for sure if those were girls or boys I loved more. That's why I just made a post on an international dating website to make known my intention to meet an experienced man and make it out at last whether I was straight or not. Oddly enough, the answer was quick to come.
That was a male foreigner living in Dushanbe. His name was Daniel, a tall slim American with military bearing (and he really turned out to be a military man of rather a high rank, military attache at the USA embassy or sort of it). So, our first date was at the restaurant where we talked a lot sipping some wine. Daniel said that I shouldn't stay ashamed of my love to same-sex persons. He said, "This is just a common thing in the whole civilized world and only in some backward countries such as China, Russia or Tajikistan people are being so hateful of gays". Relating Tajikistan, he also added that "aversion of gays in the country looks really amazing". During his studies in West Point Daniel took interested in Tajik history and it came as quite a revelation for him that Tajik people, as well as all the other Muslim peoples, had been always prone to homosexual relationship. There were many gays actually among the greatest world minds, such as Harun ar-Rashid, Omar Khayyam and even the Prophet himself (may Allah bless him with the light of his wisdom) who achieved perfection in their relations with men, as Daniel put it.
I blabbed that I was a fan of American music and he invited me to his place to see his collection of disks. My head dizzy with alcohol, I agreed. Of course it didn't come to any disks, but, frankly speaking, I've never regretted this. So we were sort of going out together for number of years and we had lots of fabulous private meetings. You know, he was always tender with me (though at first I had some discomfort and it was a bit painful during sexual contact). He was very generous too, buying some really nice things for me, some of them rather expensive. Fancy, once I got as a present iFon. Only really tough guys had such ones in Dushanbe at that time.
Then unfortunately he was sent into Kyrgyzstan and we had no chance to see each other even on some rare occasions. I have had many really smart guys since then and I guess he's got somebody too. Still I'm basking in the memories of my youth when I met my first love, my one and only, who taught me all I know and who exposed my true nature to me.
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#2
You talk about love between people of different ages but you never mention the age of this guy and what the age difference was...
I am in an relationship with an older man too and it was very hard at first.. people saw him as "robbing the cradle" and some even thought he was paying me to be with him since our age gap is 25 years! (I am 23 he is 48. We met when I was 20 and he was 45) But we do love each other
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#3
Some people have issues with age differences because they are uncomfortable with it, or think that someone who is younger is incapable of understanding what they are doing.

As for the incapable of understanding, anyone who has made it at least partway through puberty knows they want to use it, so its really a matter of how comfortable the younger person is with the older.

For being uncomfortable about the age difference. Im currently involved with a guy who is 6 years younger than me. We really only have an emotional relationship, partly because its long distance, partly because I would not be comfortable being sexual with him because he really is young for me...

If I read Merindas post right, the person she met would be an officer, at a bare minimum 24 years old. If you were 14 at the time, its highly illegal what he did. If you were at least 16 then I dont see a problem to be honest, even though the UCMJ says that a military members partner must be at least 18, I just think 14 is too young, especially if youre dealing with someone in the military, just my opinion but Im not judgung, just stating that some people might find a situation like that to be a little iffy...
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#4
I like to think of myself as a woolly old liberal, knit my own yoghurt and everything.

Unless I've misunderstood your story we have a grown man plying a fourteen year old with alcohol and then engaging in sex with same. No matter how tender or considerate he was, in most countries, if found out he would be serving a long prison sentence.

Six years, if I'm reading your account right should be no obstacle to a relationship, 20 and 26, no problem; 16 and 22, acceptable in many jurisdictions. Involvement of alcohol makes the acceptability moot in the latter case.

I realise this may spoil it for you but what he did to you was wrong.
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#5
I don´t want to say that its impossible that a much older guy loves a young man ... for me much older starts with a difference of 12 + years. Nothing is impossible in love-things :-)

If there is money involved ( more then "I pay the dinner or the cinema ) it is not Ok for me ... where starts love .. and where starts "its much cheaper to have a older bf".
I´m older .... and I like to be older ... but I never would pay a younger guy as a bf or to be sure that he stay with me. For the older guy it is a uncertainty why the younger guy is his friend.... and the younger... sorry... if I´m thinking back how I was and feel age 18+ ...I would feel myself like a prostitute if a older guy would pay me for being with him and / or having sex with him.

It is much better to be a good friend for a younger guy... being fair... maybe helping him to grow up to a strong, proud gay man or if he don´t want or need help being there like a older brother.... I want that my friends come because they like me, maybe need me as a friend ... but not as a paying sexpartner.
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#6
I think for me it isn't that I view age as GAP = BAD, but more well... I've had friends been with older partners and they've all struggled as both are in very different stages of life, at the moment my age is all young care free have fun see whats out there! But then if I got with someone thats like late 30's or in their 40's they would more than likely be further along, had all the fun times now wants to settle and live the rest of their lives together.

So sometimes I do think age is irrelevant and it should be more what stages of life are you at :p
[COLOR="Purple"]As I grow to understand less and less,
I learn to love it more and more.
[/COLOR]
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#7
See i really dont understand why the age difference would really matter. I can understand if it's like someone in their mid 20's and your barely 18, but still it baffles me as well.

The thing with me is, i've gone out with a man who was almost 21 before, a few months ago. The way his face was though, he looked like he was 17, so thats the exscuse we would use often. We obviously had to keep it a secret between us, considerin the laws.... anyways, this is only my personal opinion, but age is something that doesn't really matter to me, i believe that love is love no matter the age difference.
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#8
I don't see age as a problem, but personally I always had a rule of not going out with someone in which you were old enough to be their father or young enough to be my son. I've been with my partner for 10 years now and he is 9 years younger than me. I know of a couple in which one is aged 21 and the other is aged 35.
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#9
LOvelyRaveBoy, I think we could be talking about differences in age that exceed 5 or 6 years... differences in age of about a whole generation also exist. (that's 20 years, of sorts)
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#10
i think it all comes down to you and your partner
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