What can i do to come over shyness?

[Aester]

I've never had a romantic relation ever in my life. I always dream about a perfect match, but I always intend to panic if i get a person to close, sometimes i wonder if I actually have Aspergers cause many things matches, i often don't like it when someone is touching me (Massage is the most creepy thing i know :redface, but if i would had it, it would be more obvious. Sincerely do i think i am just to fast to find faults (Even with my self) or i might be afraid to get to close to someone. I got pretty low self esteem and isn't to comfortable with my self to.

It feels like i am just rambling random arguments... But many times like now do i feel ratter alone and it would be nice to have some closeness. Any advise how i could get over this threshold or what i can do?

[Almac]

I've never had a romantic relation ever in my life. I always dream about a perfect match, but I always intend to panic if i get a person to close, sometimes i wonder if I actually have Aspergers cause many things matches, i often don't like it when someone is touching me (Massage is the most creepy thing i know :redface, but if i would had it, it would be more obvious. Sincerely do i think i am just to fast to find faults (Even with my self) or i might be afraid to get to close to someone. I got pretty low self esteem and isn't to comfortable with my self to.

Oh Aester, just relax you're only 18, don't give yourself an hard time, otherwise you're going to make yourself ill. Hey when love does come knocking on your door, I doubt if you will be that panicky, give yourself a break. I've known a lot of people who cannot stand being massaged, some people love the hands on whole aspect of a massage other just hate it with a passion, nothing abnormal about that. So come on cheer up.

[Bookworm]

Hi Aester, I think you answered your own question there. If you are not too comfortable within yourself and have low self esteem then this will probably have an impact on you developing close relationships.

I'm quite a shy and introverted person myself but I've learned over the years to project myself more confidently when I'm around people. I've found a measure of inner peace and I'm more or less happy with my progress, but we are all on a learning curve really. We are all equals at the end of the day, nobody that you meet is any better than you are. You have your own unique qualities, let them shine and trust in yourself mile:

[LateBloomer]

Hi Aester, I think you answered your own question there. If you are not too comfortable within yourself and have low self esteem then this will probably have an impact on you developing close relationships.

I'm quite a shy and introverted person myself but I've learned over the years to project myself more confidently when I'm around people. I've found a measure of inner peace and I'm more or less happy with my progress, but we are all on a learning curve really. We are all equals at the end of the day, nobody that you meet is any better than you are. You have your own unique qualities, let them shine and trust in yourself mile:

Exactly!

If were to write a direct response it would be something like what Bookworm wrote.

A couple more thoughts, which are really cliche's for older people, but young people might find them useful:

--You can't love someone else UNTIL you love yourself.

--I have confidence in my 30s and 40s that I NEVER had in my 20s and wouldn't trade for anything in the world.

Ok just one more...


--Time heals all wounds. No matter what you're feeling today, over time you'll resolve it and have a new perspective. This is where wisdom comes from: the passage of time and new perspectives.

Just hang in there, I'm out of cliche's now.

[Aester]

How the fuck can i love my self then? (Sorry but I am in quite in a grumpy mood atm)

[red06sc]

How the fuck can i love my self then? (Sos not in a good mood atm)

as i would like to know. How does one "love" themselfs?

[ToddYoung]

I'd say you just need to know that no one is better or worse than yourself. If you're walking around thinking this person or that person is better because of looks, money, confidence or whatever, then you're missing the point. You've got to accept yourself for the person you are. None of us are perfect.

[LateBloomer]

How the fuck can i love my self then? (Sorry but I am in quite in a grumpy mood atm)

It's ok to be grumpy.

I'm often quite grumpy. So I speak your language.



Let's try it this way: What do you HATE about yourself?

Might as well get right to the point.

[Inchante]

It feels like i am just rambling random arguments... But many times like now do i feel ratter alone and it would be nice to have some closeness. Any advise how i could get over this threshold or what i can do?

The best advice I have ever seen on the subject and advice I have taken myself: "Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."— Rumi

[LateBloomer]

The best advice I have ever seen on the subject and advice I have taken myself: "Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."— Rumi

That's brilliant--and beautiful.