Dooooomed! To never have a *real* boyfriend/partner, ever?

[Drew]

It sounds like you are doing all the right things, Drew. Now I guess you just need serendipity to play a part. Coming here might not be a bad move, either. A few folks here have developed online friendships one or two of which seem to have gone a little further than that. I met my partner through an online gay discussion forum. We liked the way each other wrote, so we wrote to each other as well as the forum. Anything's possible.

You right about the writing - I love it when a guy has a good writing style. It shows me they're a thinker. Some of the people I've gone out with the longest were with those I'd have verbose online convos with even before meeting.

[Drew]

would you run with a married person if he told you he was gay and was divorcing his wife to clean up his life. my partner did. so i guess its all a leap of faith.

Probably not, no.....most openly gay men in my age range have been out for a while, so previously married in my range = has been in the closet for a while. I'd rather not start with someone brand new to whole gay thing.

But I wouldn't completely rule it out, either, for the right man.

[marshlander]

Hey!

1) Bass is awesome and fun to play. I've always wanted to since high school and now I can. I have a Schecter Custom-4 and a Fender Jazz. Both ma'babies. Don't knock bass! It provides harmonic and rhythmic foundation in most popular music.

2) Didn't take it up to meet people, more out of self-interest. Again, since high school. :tongue:

Just joshing with ya

I've worked with a lot of bass players, many of whom were human. I dabble a little myself from time to time. The best bass players for much of the music I write are those who understand the relationship between playing bass and its function within the ensemble. Frustrated lead guitarists need not apply.

[zeon]

hello,
I learnt in life dont look for love let love find you.... Enjoy singleton as it stands and sometime your find the mister right your looking for.... I would say be yourself work on your confidence but never look down others with ya nose use front face forwarding techniques and if your on a date never ever do sex on first night otherwise it could be what they really wanted and you end uop bveing the one who gets hurt

Kindest regards

zeon x

[Drew]

Hey guys,

I appreciate the kind words, but I kinda knew I'd get responses of "just enjoy being single" and "just be yourself", etc. I can't be anyone other than myself (sometimes I wish I was more flamboyant and more in the "in" crowd,, it'd get me more attention anyways) and I enjoy being single as I need my alone time. I think who ever I ended up with would be pretty independent too (but still very affectionate)).

For those of you in successful relationships, how did they start? Where did you meet? I'm always interested in how couples meet, maybe it'll give me some new ideas or a different approach.

[marshlander]

Princealbertofb and I have been in an exclusive relationship for more than eight years, although we have been friends for more than nine years. With me being English and he being French we spend a lot of time in our own countries where we have other commitments. We speak chat and/or text each other every day (sometimes several times) and with me being self-employed I can block out a period each month when I can go to France to be with him.

I realise a relationship such as ours would not be for everyone, but it has worked for us so far, although neither of us would rule out a more conventional arrangement in the future. This year we have both lost parents which has brought significant changes and challenges for both of us. At the moment we just have to be a little more flexible, but I daresay things will settle down once we both adjust to our altered circumstances.

What keeps us together? Firstly I suppose we acknowledged to each other early on that neither owns the other. We are interested enough in similar things to be able to share informed discussions across a range of interests. We lean in similar directions politically and philosophically although we are both happy to acknowledge and embrace each other's individuality, interests, experience and skills. I guess it helps that we are both pretty easy-going most of the time, but that we are able to be an unwavering support when needed. We understand that each needs a personal space, but that doesn't mean that the two of us can't happily spend weeks on end together twenty-four seven with no real need for any other company than our own. Always, when it is time to part, the time together has never felt long enough. As a musician yourself you'll understand how important it is to leave 'em wanting more

[azulai]

Hi, Drew.

I was trying to brainstorm some ideas for you. I'm not sure if they are any help.

You mentioned that you have a professional degree. Did you attend college in your current location? The reason I'm asking is that my university's LGBT group which is quite large also has an alumni outreach program. Some people return as guest speakers and I know they had a luncheon last year and have done things for local gay business owners to network. There is also a bar near campus that has a happy hour on a certain night specially for our LGBT Group, the over 21 crowd, that is.

The other thing I thought of was, again at the university level, was lectures and seminars. These are usually free and open to the public. At a large university like mine, it's not just undergrad students attending these. You have professors, grad students, med students, dental students, law students, etc. and some of these people may be in your preferred age range. Some are sponsored specifically by the LGBT Center.

I'm in my first relationship and it's only five months, one week and two days old :tongue: so I'm really a newbie to the relationship scene. We met at a reception/social after a lecture like I mentioned above. He's four years older and in a professional school.

Good luck!

[LateBloomer]

Princealbertofb and I have been in an exclusive relationship for more than eight years, although we have been friends for more than nine years. With me being English and he being French we spend a lot of time in our own countries where we have other commitments. We speak chat and/or text each other every day (sometimes several times) and with me being self-employed I can block out a period each month when I can go to France to be with him.

What?!

And Englishman and a Frenchman together as a couple?

:eek:

What's NEXT? Cats and dogs consorting with each other? What a world we live in!

:biggrin:

[marshlander]

What?!

And Englishman and a Frenchman together as a couple?

:eek:

...

Funny, we got the same reaction from a market stall holder in Madrid. Maybe we're doing something wrong?

[Drew]

You mentioned that you have a professional degree. Did you attend college in your current location? The reason I'm asking is that my university's LGBT group which is quite large also has an alumni outreach program. Some people return as guest speakers and I know they had a luncheon last year and have done things for local gay business owners to network. There is also a bar near campus that has a happy hour on a certain night specially for our LGBT Group, the over 21 crowd, that is.

The other thing I thought of was, again at the university level, was lectures and seminars. These are usually free and open to the public. At a large university like mine, it's not just undergrad students attending these. You have professors, grad students, med students, dental students, law students, etc. and some of these people may be in your preferred age range. Some are sponsored specifically by the LGBT Center.

I attended the University of Connecticut, which is about 1 1/2 hours north of my current location. I checked out their Rainbow Center website, but their alumni page is "under construction". I wasn't really "out" until, like, literally the final month of my rotations prior to graduating. I might keep an eye out for future seminars, but I'm not going nuts....it's too far to attend anything on a regular basis.

I live near the heart of Yale University, so some of the guys I do end up dating are grad students there. I think I'm done with dating them though; I've finished school and I don't want to be with someone who plans to travel around whilst slowly working on their dissertation in order to get their PhDs. I tend to have little common ground with most of them, from upbringing to outlook on life.

I'm getting frustrated, guys. I feel like I'm swimming around in a fish bowl with no way out. I've been beyond patient, but I honestly don't know what I can do to change my odds.