Dooooomed! To never have a *real* boyfriend/partner, ever?

[red06sc]

when you give up, and stop looking, somebody will fall out of the sky... or thats how it happens in the movies anyways

[marshlander]

when you give up, and stop looking, somebody will fall out of the sky... or thats how it happens in the movies anyways

That can happen in real life too.

[LateBloomer]

I'm getting frustrated, guys. I feel like I'm swimming around in a fish bowl with no way out. I've been beyond patient, but I honestly don't know what I can do to change my odds.

Oh you wanna change your odds? That's EASY.

Lower your standards.

:tongue:

Seriously, everyone tells me the same thing:

1) I'm too picky.
2) It'll happen when I least expect it.

And they're right, I am picky but I MUCH prefer my own company to that of someone else who would drive me batty. And that one 3 month relationship I alluded to earlier, well, that one came straight outta left field for me.

But guess what? She started to drive me batty so I dumped her, but I could've hung on to that freak show and been "coupled" for (probably) a very long time...

Hang in there, judging from your pix on this site, you're a good looking dude and obviously intelligent and compassionate. People like you SHOULD be picky. Hold out for something GREAT! Don't get desperate and settle. It'll totally be worth the wait.

Free internet advice from a stranger.

[James]

New Haven. Conn. My good friend in high school was from new haven, the cunttingham's, he had diabetes, wasn't expected to live, so he partyed hard, fooled them all didnt die till his late 40ts. There is a whole world out there, waiting for you to explore, don't give up, ever. James

[red06sc]

is it normal for me to be 100% ok with being single? i know this is off topic and all but.....

[Drew]

is it normal for me to be 100% ok with being single? i know this is off topic and all but.....

It's totally fine if you don't want to be with anyone right now. You're 22 and have plenty of time. Enjoy your life!

My problem is I've *never* had a long-term boyfriend and I want one. I've been out of school for a while, have a good life generally speaking, and want to share it with someone. I think that's a pretty normal and healthy desire to have.

To each their own!

[princealbertofb]

What?!

And Englishman and a Frenchman together as a couple?

:eek:

What's NEXT? Cats and dogs consorting with each other? What a world we live in!

:biggrin:

Arch lol, Mr Alaskan man.... hehehe. :biggrin:

[princealbertofb]

Princealbertofb and I have been in an exclusive relationship for more than eight years, although we have been friends for more than nine years. With me being English and he being French we spend a lot of time in our own countries where we have other commitments. We speak chat and/or text each other every day (sometimes several times) and with me being self-employed I can block out a period each month when I can go to France to be with him.

I realise a relationship such as ours would not be for everyone, but it has worked for us so far, although neither of us would rule out a more conventional arrangement in the future. This year we have both lost parents which has brought significant changes and challenges for both of us. At the moment we just have to be a little more flexible, but I daresay things will settle down once we both adjust to our altered circumstances.

What keeps us together? Firstly I suppose we acknowledged to each other early on that neither owns the other. We are interested enough in similar things to be able to share informed discussions across a range of interests. We lean in similar directions politically and philosophically although we are both happy to acknowledge and embrace each other's individuality, interests, experience and skills. I guess it helps that we are both pretty easy-going most of the time, but that we are able to be an unwavering support when needed. We understand that each needs a personal space, but that doesn't mean that the two of us can't happily spend weeks on end together twenty-four seven with no real need for any other company than our own. Always, when it is time to part, the time together has never felt long enough. As a musician yourself you'll understand how important it is to leave 'em wanting more

My sweetheart writes such lovely posts... How could I not admire him for them???

[princealbertofb]

You're not doing anything wrong.

It's just tough.

And don't knock yourself, some of us are older than you and still lack the experience of a LTR. My longest was 3 months.

Eh, anyway, soon you'll learn what every single woman knows: All the good ones are married--or gay.

:biggrin:

Hang in there.

Just a thought: if they're gay, then it ought not to be a problem for Drew... but then what's a soul mate made of?

[princealbertofb]

Now something a bit meatier for you Drew... Yes, I would not be surprised that your standards are a bit high, or at least selective. If you are a true Scorpio, you may be a bit high maintenance in terms of how much you want someone to love you and make love to you... Scorpios are generally quite hot in bed... Scorpios tend to get along best with Cancerians and Pisces, so bear it in mind... I'm not saying it'll work out. Scorpios could also be quite attracted to their opposite sign which would be Taurus, methinks. Scorpios think deeply and passionately about things too, and tend to live likewise. A half-hearted love affair is not their cup of tea. But by the same yardstick, they won't suffer being wronged or being contradicted or hurt. They'd rather spite themselves than let someone make a fool of them. So you'll be wanting to find someone who is NOT superficial.

Then also, Chinese signs, for what it's worth: the Chinese seem to think that you'd get on well with anyone four years older or four years younger than yourself... Maybe more so than with someone your own age. I have two examples here, Azulai and myself, who are in relationships with people four years apart from us. I don't know if it's the solution but maybe just a little something to bear in mind.

I don't think you're doing anything wrong, but I do like the idea that you might attend a creative writing course, because I believe that you might find someone with interests close enough to your own to develop a relationship. What's more, don't be surprised about not having found your soulmate after 5 years. It has taken some of us until we were well into our forties and fifties to let ourselves (at last!) have the sort of relationship that will bring us peace and contentment.
I know it's sometimes like looking for a needle in a haystack but maybe you were not wholeheartedly admitting to yourself that you are gay and that you are ready wholly for a relationship. Remember that having a relationship means having to come out to the world a bit more than before (I seem to remember that you were keeping your homosexuality secret from your parents). Maybe you are unconsciously stalling because of that obstacle.
Good luck, in any case, in finding that partner you deserve and good luck with coming to terms with what it will entail in terms of relationships to others around you. (When I became involved in my relationship with Marshlander, no way was I going to keep it a secret from anybody else... I wanted my family, and the world who cares about me to KNOW!)