12-16-2011, 10:59 PM
And here's an interesting dream I recorded in a dream journal 2/3/04, though this one features my real Dad, and also a "little brother" (I was an only child), who appears in other dreams sometimes as a little brother and other times as my son (I've even had the irrational certainty that I need to bear children because I'm meant to give birth to him):
I was 12 and with my dad in the store. I was pretty much into the head space I was in at 12, too. I wanted--needed--things and my dad would gripe and complain. This included my suggesting we get more and better food. This made me feel bad, but I was equally mad at how he would get a case of beer (half a case if strapped--but that was usually at another store in which he got nothing except alcohol and tobacco), as if THAT were important. But I didn't have the words back then, and besides, I was a bit scared of my dad.
In the dream, I felt something from him that I never sensed in him in real life--guilt, sorrow, self-loathing and anger. I sensed anger in him in real life, but in the dream, he seemed more angry at himself than everyone and everything else around him. A cop followed us around, seeming to ignore me, and made loud condemnations of his choices, of his life, etc. Apparently, only he could see and hear this cop, though I could in the dream.
We came to a box barrel display. Inside were a bunch of rings, but we could only take one. A woman's voice, feeling VERY daimonic (that is, unknown and not-human), said we could both take a ring and make ONE wish. Showing my more mature sensibilities all of a sudden, I asked, "What's the price?" No answer. I was tempted, but scared. I told him not to do it and reminded him that there's always a catch. He agreed and we left.
The cop followed us all the way to the register, and then just wasn't there anymore. Dad got into an argument with the cashier over something, but I don't recall exactly what. I think it had something to do with returning or replacing something.
We left the store and it was night. At this point, I was older, more like 15. (In real life, I virtually never saw him at this age--and no more than a few minutes.) The stars were beautiful. A "knowing" came down to us, a telepathic communications, that offered my dad 2 bracelets and said, "OK, THREE wishes for each of you."
I warned him, "They want us to take them too badly. What's in it for them?" No answer from them, but my dad took the bracelets--a gold and silver one. He took the gold one and handed me the silver one.
Temptation got to me, but I decided on a plan. I said, "I wish to understand the reasons and motivations for giving us these wishes." If I didn't like the answer, I was going to use my next wish to wish I never made any of these wishes, and that they found someone else instead of us. I don't recall the answer I got, but I did get one [As the other wishes turned out to be temporary then I can assume in retrospect that I DID understand for awhile]. It had to do with achieving wisdom--more for them than for us--and I wasn't comforted by it, but not scared enough to wish it all away, either.
We got to his car (a real junker) and my dad cursed as he got his keys out and then said, "I wish my car was a fire engine red Chevrolet Corvette." [In real life Dad had a red T-bird he loved, and pretty much snapped when Mom won it in the divorce and I'm pretty sure it was him who sabotaged the brakes that nearly killed Mom and me.] And it was. I'm not sure what got into me at that moment, but I snatched the keys from his hands, jumped in the car while he gaped at the car and me both, and screeched out of there. I went joyriding for several blocks before I felt guilty about leaving dad and went back to pick him up. Natch, he was cussing up a storm when I came back.
But once he was in the driver seat, he took off too in the same way I had. We actually had some fun over some car ride until the car reverted back to its normal junk form, causing my dad to cuss a lot more.
Then a scene showed up in which I was not involved in. I suddenly had a "little brother" who was like 7-10. He was picked up by that cop that followed dad around in the store. The cop killed him and then dressed it up to look like a stupid gangland slaying. The memory of this would leave me until after I woke up.
Oddly enough, the murder scene was in the same store where this started, though on the opposite side if that matters. There were other cops around. My dad was suddenly a cop himself and showed up and was majorly upset as you'd expect.
He mentioned to me how he wanted to take the both of us to Disneyland. He then went, "I wish my son [no name I recall] were still alive and we were all at Disneyland." And so we were. Recalling how the car reverted back to its normal form, I added, "I wish that he remains alive," in order to make it permanent.
We really did have a lot of fun at Disneyland. My dad was actually pleasant and fun to be around. And I liked my brother, too. But suddenly it was over. Disneyland vanished, and we were back at the store--on the other side near where the wishing rings were--and the boy was skeletal and in a buggy being pushed by dad.
The other cops came running up and wanted to know what happened, including the condemning (and killing) cop. My dad threw his badge at all of them and yelled, "Keep it!" He stormed out and I didn't see him anymore in the dream.
I decided to use my last wish so I could be done with it. "I wish I could fly by thinking about it, and that I would float gently to the ground just before my wish is over." And so it was.
I flew outside so I could go up high. It was dusk instead of night. (I would say dawn, except the activity was more appropriate to dusk.) I flew and saw some of my old friends from when I was 16, just before I had ran away from home. I wanted to show them my flying so they'd believe me when I told them about the wishes. But as I flew all around them, they didn't see me. I grabbed one on the shoulders and yelled, "Can't you see me!?" She stopped and asked the others if they heard me calling. They looked around and said, no. I tried to push her back, but I went through her like she were jello, and she didn't feel anything at all.
So I flew around by myself for awhile before I felt myself floating down, and then I woke up.
I was 12 and with my dad in the store. I was pretty much into the head space I was in at 12, too. I wanted--needed--things and my dad would gripe and complain. This included my suggesting we get more and better food. This made me feel bad, but I was equally mad at how he would get a case of beer (half a case if strapped--but that was usually at another store in which he got nothing except alcohol and tobacco), as if THAT were important. But I didn't have the words back then, and besides, I was a bit scared of my dad.
In the dream, I felt something from him that I never sensed in him in real life--guilt, sorrow, self-loathing and anger. I sensed anger in him in real life, but in the dream, he seemed more angry at himself than everyone and everything else around him. A cop followed us around, seeming to ignore me, and made loud condemnations of his choices, of his life, etc. Apparently, only he could see and hear this cop, though I could in the dream.
We came to a box barrel display. Inside were a bunch of rings, but we could only take one. A woman's voice, feeling VERY daimonic (that is, unknown and not-human), said we could both take a ring and make ONE wish. Showing my more mature sensibilities all of a sudden, I asked, "What's the price?" No answer. I was tempted, but scared. I told him not to do it and reminded him that there's always a catch. He agreed and we left.
The cop followed us all the way to the register, and then just wasn't there anymore. Dad got into an argument with the cashier over something, but I don't recall exactly what. I think it had something to do with returning or replacing something.
We left the store and it was night. At this point, I was older, more like 15. (In real life, I virtually never saw him at this age--and no more than a few minutes.) The stars were beautiful. A "knowing" came down to us, a telepathic communications, that offered my dad 2 bracelets and said, "OK, THREE wishes for each of you."
I warned him, "They want us to take them too badly. What's in it for them?" No answer from them, but my dad took the bracelets--a gold and silver one. He took the gold one and handed me the silver one.
Temptation got to me, but I decided on a plan. I said, "I wish to understand the reasons and motivations for giving us these wishes." If I didn't like the answer, I was going to use my next wish to wish I never made any of these wishes, and that they found someone else instead of us. I don't recall the answer I got, but I did get one [As the other wishes turned out to be temporary then I can assume in retrospect that I DID understand for awhile]. It had to do with achieving wisdom--more for them than for us--and I wasn't comforted by it, but not scared enough to wish it all away, either.
We got to his car (a real junker) and my dad cursed as he got his keys out and then said, "I wish my car was a fire engine red Chevrolet Corvette." [In real life Dad had a red T-bird he loved, and pretty much snapped when Mom won it in the divorce and I'm pretty sure it was him who sabotaged the brakes that nearly killed Mom and me.] And it was. I'm not sure what got into me at that moment, but I snatched the keys from his hands, jumped in the car while he gaped at the car and me both, and screeched out of there. I went joyriding for several blocks before I felt guilty about leaving dad and went back to pick him up. Natch, he was cussing up a storm when I came back.
But once he was in the driver seat, he took off too in the same way I had. We actually had some fun over some car ride until the car reverted back to its normal junk form, causing my dad to cuss a lot more.
Then a scene showed up in which I was not involved in. I suddenly had a "little brother" who was like 7-10. He was picked up by that cop that followed dad around in the store. The cop killed him and then dressed it up to look like a stupid gangland slaying. The memory of this would leave me until after I woke up.
Oddly enough, the murder scene was in the same store where this started, though on the opposite side if that matters. There were other cops around. My dad was suddenly a cop himself and showed up and was majorly upset as you'd expect.
He mentioned to me how he wanted to take the both of us to Disneyland. He then went, "I wish my son [no name I recall] were still alive and we were all at Disneyland." And so we were. Recalling how the car reverted back to its normal form, I added, "I wish that he remains alive," in order to make it permanent.
We really did have a lot of fun at Disneyland. My dad was actually pleasant and fun to be around. And I liked my brother, too. But suddenly it was over. Disneyland vanished, and we were back at the store--on the other side near where the wishing rings were--and the boy was skeletal and in a buggy being pushed by dad.
The other cops came running up and wanted to know what happened, including the condemning (and killing) cop. My dad threw his badge at all of them and yelled, "Keep it!" He stormed out and I didn't see him anymore in the dream.
I decided to use my last wish so I could be done with it. "I wish I could fly by thinking about it, and that I would float gently to the ground just before my wish is over." And so it was.
I flew outside so I could go up high. It was dusk instead of night. (I would say dawn, except the activity was more appropriate to dusk.) I flew and saw some of my old friends from when I was 16, just before I had ran away from home. I wanted to show them my flying so they'd believe me when I told them about the wishes. But as I flew all around them, they didn't see me. I grabbed one on the shoulders and yelled, "Can't you see me!?" She stopped and asked the others if they heard me calling. They looked around and said, no. I tried to push her back, but I went through her like she were jello, and she didn't feel anything at all.
So I flew around by myself for awhile before I felt myself floating down, and then I woke up.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
