how to break ice?

[ManicReptile21]

when it comes to first impressions and first conversations i realized im a little rusty. so i always end up with awkward silences and feeling retarded. and i think that scares people away. i just have gotten so used to talking to my friends that anyone outside of my inner circle is either blown off or blown up with my very obscure conversations. how do you guys do it? how do you make a guy want to talk to you again? :confused:

[holst]

I am honest, and kind, and a nice compliment always helps i guess.....my theory is people don't get along with EVERYONE and one day you will talk to someone and hit it off. and you wont even realize its going so well. I don't know, i hope it works out. =) you will find some one.

[LateBloomer]

I am honest, and kind, and a nice compliment always helps i guess.....my theory is people don't get along with EVERYONE and one day you will talk to someone and hit it off. and you wont even realize its going so well. I don't know, i hope it works out. =) you will find some one.

Agreed.

But in the meantime, take an interest in THEM.

Imagine you're interviewing them for a big magazine biography.

Reporters always ask about "who" "what" "when" "where" and "why"?

"Who put you up to that?"
"What did she say after you took a sip of her drink?"
"When was the last time THAT happened?"
"Where was your hand the whole time?"
"Why on Earth did you think that?"



Edit: And "how"...

Don't forget how.

[Pix]

It's very hard for me to say because it just depends. But generally speaking I'll volunteer something about myself (something I just did, how I'm feeling, maybe what I plan to do or am in the mood for) and if that doesn't inspire sharing then I may ask someone about him or herself, typically in relation to what I just said (as it flows nice) and it will usually be about something specific rather than something general because general questions usually get generic (and often one word) answers. But I don't push it because I know some people are either shy or introspective and need to get used to being around me before they talk or they're just not in the mood right then.

[Craig]

I have the same problem, I always give bad first impressions. I try to direct the conversation towards the other guy like lateBloomer said. It's not easy I know! Also an appropriate compliment does wonders sometimes

[Aester]

when it comes to first impressions and first conversations i realized im a little rusty. so i always end up with awkward silences and feeling retarded. and i think that scares people away. i just have gotten so used to talking to my friends that anyone outside of my inner circle is either blown off or blown up with my very obscure conversations. how do you guys do it? how do you make a guy want to talk to you again? :confused:

You are not alone...

[marshlander]

I get quite self-conscious talking about myself (I know some of you may find that difficult to believe ), so I generally ask questions that get the other person talking. How was your day? What kind of work do you do? and so on. Noises like, "Oh that's interesting" or "Tell me more" seem to encourage them to do more talking. If they are interested in something I say I can elaborate, but I generally start by bouncing back from something they say.

Of course I am nowhere near the expert at this that PA is. Sometimes, if he comes across as too much like an inquisitor, I give him a nudge, but he is good at getting others to talk.

[mrk2010]

Just a simple hello, smile and handshake can suffice in most instances. mile:

[fredv3b]

how do you make a guy want to talk to you again? :confused:

My personal opinion - You can't. If a guy does not enjoy your company, then you just have to accept it. All you can do is may sure that a guy who would enjoy your company gets to realise that during that first conversation. Then he will want a second.

Be interested in him, make him feel good about himself, everybody tends to like people who make them feel good about themselves.

[ManicReptile21]

firstly- thanks for the replies.

now the general conscensus here is force questiong onto the other guy. but what sort of questions should i ask? if i dig deep i may end up making him remember a bad memory or make him upset. or simply make him feel like im just a moron who wont shut up lol.