HIV neg dating HIV pos

[LateBloomer]

Anyone have any experience as HIV neg status but in a regular sexual relationship with an HIV pos guy?

Reason I ask: I'm neg, but recently I met a pos guy. We got along pretty well and we even messed around.

He was honest about his status and I was clear about "how far" I would go. He was very cool and low pressure.

If he were neg, I would definitely like to see him again. But to be honest, although I was VERY careful when we messed around, I'm unsure what the sheer statistical probability says about staying safe over the course of a "long term relationship".

Let's face it, condoms do break. And sometimes we get distracted and forget about little things like having a sore throat, an open wound on a finger, or having just brushed our teeth.

There are lots of *little* threats that might make a regular, long term relationship a risky proposition. But I'm not sure. So I'm asking if anyone has any experience with this.

Pos guys need love too, right? Is their fate to only be with other pos guys?

Thanks for any thoughts.

[beast]

There is always a risk you take when with a pos guy. If you feel that you really love this person and would therefore take that chance to be with them, then do it, but be aware of potentially contracting HIV.

If I were to assume that I were the pos guy dating a neg guy, I would myself take precautions to prevent others from getting sick because of me. I suppose I would seek out a potential life partner for the emotional and intellectual aspects, but would definitely try to be celibate. The downside being that I wouldn't be able have sex the way I want to ever again. I think that it's a small price to pay in order to prevent any stress and worry about exposing my partner to any of my infected fluids. In fact I would completely understand if someone left me because of my HIV status.

I really hope that they find a cure for HIV soon so that this wouldnt be a problem anymore.

[LateBloomer]

There is always a risk you take when with a pos guy. If you feel that you really love this person and would therefore take that chance to be with them, then do it, but be aware of potentially contracting HIV.

If I were to assume that I were the pos guy dating a neg guy, I would myself take precautions to prevent others from getting sick because of me. I suppose I would seek out a potential life partner for the emotional and intellectual aspects, but would definitely try to be celibate. The downside being that I wouldn't be able have sex the way I want to ever again. I think that it's a small price to pay in order to prevent any stress and worry about exposing my partner to any of my infected fluids. In fact I would completely understand if someone left me because of my HIV status.

I really hope that they find a cure for HIV soon so that this wouldnt be a problem anymore.

Thanks for your thoughtful response. But let me be clear, I'm not "in love" with anyone.



I like him; I'm pretty sure he likes me. We had a good time together, and I think we're both looking for something "regular".

I've been mulling this over; not sure if I want to start something that I'm not fully committed to.

[Rainbowmum]

One of my best friends is pos and his partner is neg.
They both have established set rules in their sexual activities and both take the utmost precautions.

Beside that they get on like any couple , ups and downs and heaps of phone calls bitching at me for hooking them up when they have a fight lol.

[LateBloomer]

One of my best friends is pos and his partner is neg.
They both have established set rules in their sexual activities and both take the utmost precautions.

Beside that they get on like any couple , ups and downs and heaps of phone calls bitching at me for hooking them up when they have a fight lol.

Hmm. Thanks for the response.

I wonder if you could persuade either one, or both, to sign up here?

[Rainbowmum]

Hmm. Thanks for the response.

I wonder if you could persuade either one, or both, to sign up here?

That is an awesome idea, I will get on it ASAP.
I hope there is enough room on this forum for my two Scott's egos LOL.

[fenris]

You both should go to a good HIV - Doctor and talk with him about risks, what you can do and what not....shyness will be wrong at this place.

A little story out of my own fundus....

Spring 1994 ... a friend of mine fell in love with a beautiful but positive guy and they start a relationship. Every time for the next month... when they had *whisper* sex ... my phone rings and this friend, said that he is afraid that he can be infected just 10 minutes before.... he goes many ..really many times to his doctor for a blood test.. I think the Doctor had more of his blood in his fridge as my friend in his body....

What I want to say with this story is : You should do it if you know the risks and you both do all things to protect you ... BUT.... if you have fear - really bad fear - that something can happen and infect you... you should not do it. It is not good for you to live in this kind of fear ... and it is really bad for him if he always know that you have fears....

[LateBloomer]

You both should go to a good HIV - Doctor and talk with him about risks, what you can do and what not....shyness will be wrong at this place.

A little story out of my own fundus....

Spring 1994 ... a friend of mine fell in love with a beautiful but positive guy and they start a relationship. Every time for the next month... when they had *whisper* sex ... my phone rings and this friend, said that he is afraid that he can be infected just 10 minutes before.... he goes many ..really many times to his doctor for a blood test.. I think the Doctor had more of his blood in his fridge as my friend in his body....

What I want to say with this story is : You should do it if you know the risks and you both do all things to protect you ... BUT.... if you have fear - really bad fear - that something can happen and infect you... you should not do it. It is not good for you to live in this kind of fear ... and it is really bad for him if he always know that you have fears....

Thanks for your story.

I'm not one to live in fear. When he told me he is pos, I said, no problem, let's just go one step at a time, and here are my limitations. He was very understanding. But this was a "one time" thing.

As I said originally, over time, there is a sheer statistical probability of infection. I suppose if we were talking about love, it might be worth it. Some people are literally willing to die for love--at least in books and film.



Perhaps, for the sake of just dating, it might be asking too much. But I just don't know. I had never considered the idea until just recently when I met him.

[Story]

Honestly if he's taking his medications and you generally practice safe sex you both should be fine, people don't understand that when someone is on meds it completely shuts down the virus to the point that the virus exists but only in such insignificant numbers that risk for infection drops tremendously. Throw in safe sex and honestly you should never get infected. Keep in mind infection only occurs if his semen or blood are able to get into your bloodstream, him Cumming on your chest really can't get you infected.

[dfiant]

I am HIV- but I have never met a HIV+ person, let alone been in a position where I had to worry about contact with the virus, so I am very naive when it comes to HIV/AIDS...BUT I doo have those ten-pin bowling ads ingrained in my psyche from the 1980's.

Now, If I was to be put in your situation my first reaction would be to protect myself 100%. My second would be to read everything and anything on HIV and even go to my GP and have a chat with him as well as chat with the person with HIV openly and honestly. I could never engage in coitus without knowing what danger if any I would be exposing myself to, and if there is a danger, what precautions to take.