Does anyone else feel like their life is a constant coming out party?

[Blake1122]

Hey friendsmile:

Does anyone out there feel like they constantly have to come out to others? My close friends know about me and I feel thats all that needed to know. If I get close to anyone else ill eventually let them know. I dont feel its anyone elses businese. Im not the type to throw my sexuality in peoples faces. But its like I start a new job or move to a different location and everyone behind my back always seems to make it a big investigation to find out if im gay or not. Its really annoying and uncomfortable. And I dont feel its very professional at work to bring somthing like that up. Just wondering if anyone else expirences this?

[LateBloomer]

Hey friendsmile:

Does anyone out there feel like they constantly have to come out to others? My close friends know about me and I feel thats all that needed to know. If I get close to anyone else ill eventually let them know. I dont feel its anyone elses businese. Im not the type to throw my sexuality in peoples faces. But its like I start a new job or move to a different location and everyone behind my back always seems to make it a big investigation to find out if im gay or not. Its really annoying and uncomfortable. And I dont feel its very professional at work to bring somthing like that up. Just wondering if anyone else expirences this?

Yeah, in a way, except I'm NOT out. And it's not due to a sense of shame, but like you, more about privacy. It's nobody's damn business.

But awhile back some dork at work was playing "20 Questions" with me about my personal life. I don't think he was on an investigation or anything. I think he was just bored, horribly insensitive and lacked any sense of "appropriate boundaries".

So he asked me:

Got any kids? No.
You married? No.
Ever been married? Nope.
You gay? You asking me out?
Haha, nooooo.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

No, I feel no need to take out a page in the local rag that passes off as a newspaper to let everyone know.

I do not actively hide that I am whatever it is I am. If they assume that because I am 6'2, 210# with a deep voice, driving a jacked up GMC Suburban and wear jeans, work boots, t-shirt and flannel that I am a redneck, I don't bother to correct them.

Redneck.... Or straight, or gay, or whatever it is people assume I am. ASS -u-me. :tongue:

Then again I do not take great pains to hide the fact that I am shopping with a man, or dining with a man or what ever it is I am doing in public with a man (my partner). If people want to assume we are just brothers, fine. If they want to assume we are gay, fine too.

The only people who do know are family and friends.

If people are asking too many questions and I do know them or can't guess at their attend, I will boldly lie. THAT is an outgrowth of personal survival. If I have evidence that they are harmless, I tell them.


I look at it this way, no one has to tell me they are straight. Why on earth do I have to tell them I am gay?

[dfiant]

I don't. I came out 13 years ago and that was the first and only time. I don't advertise my sexuality, I generally don't correct people when they assume I am str8 because quiet frankly i am not pursuing a relationship with those people so it is none of their business.

Most people happen to find out when I talk about partners in a masculine sense or introduce my partner to them. If people ask if I am gay, I just shrug my shoulders and say 'Yeah' and end the discussion there, I don't feel comfortable talking about my sexuality as if my sexuality defines who I am, because it certainly doesn't. I am everything else to the people around me before I am 'the Gay Guy'

So I don't hide my sexuality nor do I advertise it

[cloud999]

Nah. Now that the important people know, I don't really care about anyone else knowing. If someone presses me I won't deny it...but I don't wear it on my sleeve. I'm not the type of person who discusses my personal life with everyone I meet.

[Thibideau]

Really I only tell people that I care enough about that holding back the fact that I'm gay could hurt the relationship. Otherwise I don't think most people would care either way so I don't bring it up. Plus I've also told people to have it back fire on me where my trust ended up being misplaced. So I kinda agree with LateBloomer, it's no ones business.

Coming out to people beyond your close family and friends is easy in comparison.

[chillythoughts]

not many people know about my sexuality but not many ask but so many expect me to bring home girls...

[zeon]

Hello,
If someone asks me if im gay i just say Yes but i wont go screaming im ere im queer and take it up the rear thats a tad 1990's attitude however if i start in a new establishment i will admit it to people because that way if they dont like it they can foxtrot oscar~!

[matty7]

i just tell the people who will have a positive effect on me and with them ... i dont tell work , although some workmates know ,, i dont tell management or be out ,,need my job so too risky , ..anyways , straight people u meet dont say hi - im straight ,,,, dont see why i should say hi - im gay !!

[zeon]

Matty if your boss decided to dismiss u for being gay id tell u one thing you wouldnt need to work for a while with massive paycheck... if your a scaffolder i ca\n kinbda undersatand it lol