Hey welcome. Homophobia is a defense against homosexual desires. I dont blame you either, we cant choose how we are brought up. But we can change our views and open our minds once we can become independent beings.
Anyways if you need to talk my pm is open. This goes to anyone.
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Ask him out for a beer or guy sport night.
6 beers and some sex talk surely will lead to what you need to experience.
Lol, side note: one lesson for the ladies, never bring your bf to a gay club. From my personal experience, it normally leads to unwanted result lolll.
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Thank you all for the encouragement! I'm going to try and have a talk with him tonight. We will see where we end up!
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Had a fantastic time with him this weekend. it was his birthday, so we decided to go bar hopping. it was great eventhough we didnt "talk" things are becoming more clear.
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i dont know if i have said this before or not. my wife is not really my wife. we just have been together for the last 9 years and we refer to each other as wife/husband. i asked her to marry me a few times and each time she said no. yes there are deep feelings for her, and i would say that i love her, but there is not that feeling of being in love. kinda hard to explain. i stayed home from work today. got a stomache flue bug. dont really feel all that great so im trying so hard to put my feelings and past down into words.
i guess that my first "gay" experience was when i was about 12. there was a neighbor kid that i hung out with and he would steal his parents cigerattes and we would smoke them, look at my dads playboy magazines. that led into us playing with each other. this went on a couple times a month for about a year and a half. we had no idea what we were doing. there was no penetration, just hj's, and bj's. well we (my family) moved across the state, and i was a timid kid in a new school, town without friends. a couple years went by had a few gf's, but no real fealings of "love" or lust. and then i met a guy at a race i went to watch. he was one of the drivers. it was a different kind of friendship. i stayed over at his house a couple times, and we ended up playing with each other each time. but it was the same as before. just hj's and bj's. it felt so right, but i knew that it was wrong so i pushed him out of my life. then in hs i went to a concert with my "homofobic" friend, or i thought he was homofobic. we would make fun of the gay couple at my school all the time. but when we got back to my house for the night, WE ended up playing with each other. we tried anal, but we didnt have any lube and it FUKIN hurt so we stopped trying and just pleasured each other with our hands. that was back in about 98-99. it was hard to look at each other at school after that. we never told anyone and it was our dirty little seceret. after that, i graduated hs early to join the marine corps, moved away to california for 4 years, and he joined the army and got deployed to korea where he is still today. i have tried to find him on fb, but cant. i have a few people that i grew up with come out of the closet and family and friends seem ok with it. but i just have never let my self be ok with it. over the last 9 years with my "wife" i have felt like i have been living a lie, but never expressed how i feel to anyone, not even her. my so called "life partner". i have told her that i want to have a 3 some, and she has delivered on that a few times, but i never had the "balls" to tell her that i want to try it with another guy. im tired of keeping these feelings inside me. but i am scared shitless of the consequences if she found out that i really am bi (or gay and just hiding it with a straight facade) i have always wanted my guy friends to hang out more than i wanted to be with my wife, and it pisses her off to a certain degree. im sorry for the rant or rambling (i have never been good with writing or words) im at a loss of what to say for now. so that all for now i guess....
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mods, please delete this post. not sure what happened.:tongue:
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might be going to help him pick out a new car here in a few minutes. i think im going to let him know where i am in life right now, and whats on my mind. any ideas on how to start the conversation? i have a feeling he is bi, but not 100% sure. but i do know he is accepting. not really into him. it would be nice to have someone who "gets where im coming from" just scared to death to actually verbalize my feelings to someone.
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