Boyfriend advice needed - complete newbie :O

[SammyWilliams]

Hey guys,

So i'm 18, have been for a few months, and for a while now (2 years) i've had this thing with this guy who lives in another city quite far away. I should mention he just turned 40 (although when we first met he said he was 30). This guy helped me out of some tough times. While he was mostly genuine in what he did for me, he also really wanted sex. And long story short, he almost got what he wanted after luring me into bed.

Anyway we have continued to stay in contact, I guess I fell for him once I got past the past. Thing is, he says he loves me and that I will always have his love, that he will never love anyone else etc etc (i'm sure you've all heard it before) but he has never put me first. All we do is argue. I txt and txt and txt him, every day, and i'm lucky if I get a reply a fortnight, and with that reply I get every excuse under the moon. He makes promises and says all this nice stuff, but I don't think he appreciates me. The other week I had had enough of being ignored, so I txt him and said if you don't make an effort by x date, forget it. It's over. And he txt the night after. So I ignored it. Then 4 days later he txt again. His txts weren't apologies, they were just assuming things were as normal.

So I don't know what I should do? I'm young and free! But I feel some strong connection to him! SHould I txt him? Should I get back together, or should I txt him to say leave me alone? Please help! I have no one to talk to about this!!

Sammy

xx

[dfiant]

I don't think this man should be remembered as your first love, it's and unfortunate situation you have found yourself and my very real fear from what you have said is that you will be taken advantage of by this seemingly less than amicable older man.

Older people have the wisdom of knowing what to say and when for a desired reaction, this is called manipulation for I feel the only 'love' that he feels for you is between his legs, not in his heart.

My honest opinion...break off the contact with him, you will come out of this hurt. Make some new friends closer to your age, develop friendships and maybe one of those friendship with evolve into something that you deserve

And welcome to GaySpeak

[Bowyn Aerrow]

You already drew a line in the sand.

The other week I had had enough of being ignored, so I txt him and said if you don't make an effort by x date, forget it. It's over.

Something inside you decided that there is a place for this ultimatum.

From what you have written (I do not read minds, my crystal ball is in the shop for repairs so I only have what you have written here to go on) He has been using and abusing you right from the very start when he bald faced about his age.

This set a down hill trend where he has been using and abusing you.

From what you have written again based this one short post, he only helped you as a way to get what he wanted from you. Right now it sounds like he has you wrapped around his little finger - at least he thinks he does, and is only continuing to use and abuse you.

You are young and have a full life ahead of you - he is 40, half of his life if not more is already spent (and from what you have posted, spent badly). He is most likely not going to change any time soon.

You draw the line in the sand, stick with it. You wrote it with your heart - it has validation.