outing people

[gfxtwin]

Does anyone else feel that outing people, in many cases, isn't a big deal? Like if there's a really flamboyant guy who is obviously gay but uncomfortably pretends to be straight just to fit in, isn't it cool to say something that amounts to, "look, man, if you're gay and you know it flap your hands. It's okay and we'll always look out for you."

[sneakyc25]

It is the person's own business. I understand where you are coming from, but I would hate for my friends to 'out' me in front of certain people(family and other friends). I think I would lose a lot at this current moment in my life if my parents or too many people knew.

[LateBloomer]

Being out is a personal decision and I think it should be respected as such.

[chillythoughts]

I agree with late bloomer.

[DerJack]

In what situation would this come up where you couldn't just as easily ask this person in private just between you and them? And thereby also understand their feelings about being outted to other people or whatnot?

[sneakyc25]

"It's okay and we'll always look out for you."

Maybe talk with them in private if you feel like you need to support them. =)

[pellaz]

It's okay and we'll always look out for you."

no you will not. They are looking out for them selves just fine.

[gfxtwin]

Obviously this would be after getting to know someone as a friend. I should have been more clear. I wouldn't want to out some random gay guy at a party where he might have some, say, homophobic relatives present.

I'm just sayin', if a member of your group is gay but closeted, what's wrong with (among friends) acknowledging that you know their real identity and you support it? To me that's like extending a hand out.

[pellaz]

... acknowledging that you know their real identity and you support it? To me that's like extending a hand out.

its wrong:
-you can be supportive but you cant start rumors about people. tell them you will support them in any decision they make. sad but true this includes the no decision option.
-friends are supportive, they dont take control of a friend's life

[LateBloomer]

Obviously this would be after getting to know someone as a friend. I should have been more clear. I wouldn't want to out some random gay guy at a party where he might have some, say, homophobic relatives present.

I'm just sayin', if a member of your group is gay but closeted, what's wrong with (among friends) acknowledging that you know their real identity and you support it? To me that's like extending a hand out.

If you privately acknowledge his sexuality, that's between you and him and doesn't really qualify as "outing" in my mind.

To me, outing someone is making a public statement without considering what impact it has on the subject.

Maybe you're talking about something else besides outing someone.